(no subject)
i hate birthdays. i hate them because it's all reminiscing and regretting and could-have-beens and generally feeling sorry for myself. not that i don't do that on other days, birthdays i just feel it more than usual. last night was shitty, in so many ways, on so many levels. in ways that make me feel even worse for thinking them because i am a selfish jerk. as such i suppose that i get what i deserve, but even the worst of people aren't supposed to feel lonely and friendless on their birthdays. i kind of feel like i will always feel alone. i need to find a way to just stop caring about shit, instead of just pretending to do so. that's why i might not delete this entry.