(no subject)
i went on a field trip with the drama club today. ...we saw my fair lady. i can't believe eliza ended up with who she did (i won't give it away for those that haven't seen it), but the other guy was so much better! ...then we went out to lunch and had a crazy waitress. and one dish on the children's menu was called baby shamu. what kind of sick child would want to eat shamu?! i rode in one of the chaperone's vans, and when we got back to the van after the play and lunch there was a warning affixed to it. it had been parked in a reserved spot. so then we (the van-riders) decided to say it was not just a warning but a big fine...and the story evolved into the van getting towed...and then it getting totaled...heh, well it was fun.
it seems that i should feel calm and relieved now that yesterday is over. but i don't. instead i feel...hyper? ...ready? ...keyed up? ...something like that. good, maybe my motivation problem is finally over. then again maybe not. i think i'm just eager to begin a new part of my life... right after the play, when i was walking in the cold afternoon sunshine among the historic buildings of downtown st. augustine, i felt so free. like i was meant to be there instead of in school. i felt like i could have just graduated. i belonged there beside the stone fountain and trees, beside the statues and the bridge, meandering towards the future.
i'm going to fly up to visit penn state next thursday. i'm going to a bunch of info session type things for the engineering college and the honors college, and i'll be staying in the dorms with college people on thursday and friday nights. i'm worried that i might not get along with my host. that would suck!
i'm also worried about college...i dunno...i'm afraid i won't be good enough. i mean, penn state has offered me a full scholarship (tuition and room & board), so i'll most likely be going there unless one of the other schools i applied to gives me a comparable amount of money. (besides uf) but anyways, i'm afraid i won't live up to their expectations. if i'm not spectacular, they'll probably wish they gave the scholarship to someone else... (who i am referring to with the word "they"? i'm not even sure...the admissions/scholarship people i guess.)
it seems that i should feel calm and relieved now that yesterday is over. but i don't. instead i feel...hyper? ...ready? ...keyed up? ...something like that. good, maybe my motivation problem is finally over. then again maybe not. i think i'm just eager to begin a new part of my life... right after the play, when i was walking in the cold afternoon sunshine among the historic buildings of downtown st. augustine, i felt so free. like i was meant to be there instead of in school. i felt like i could have just graduated. i belonged there beside the stone fountain and trees, beside the statues and the bridge, meandering towards the future.
i'm going to fly up to visit penn state next thursday. i'm going to a bunch of info session type things for the engineering college and the honors college, and i'll be staying in the dorms with college people on thursday and friday nights. i'm worried that i might not get along with my host. that would suck!
i'm also worried about college...i dunno...i'm afraid i won't be good enough. i mean, penn state has offered me a full scholarship (tuition and room & board), so i'll most likely be going there unless one of the other schools i applied to gives me a comparable amount of money. (besides uf) but anyways, i'm afraid i won't live up to their expectations. if i'm not spectacular, they'll probably wish they gave the scholarship to someone else... (who i am referring to with the word "they"? i'm not even sure...the admissions/scholarship people i guess.)