I agree with the concept that in a relationship it is the differences that attract. And, one must continue to look out for him or her self instead of depnding on someone else to. That does make a healthy relationship as opposed to one where an individual is dependent upon another -- that creates a tremendous strain. But, if you alter your perceptions of "selfishness" and "love," you might be able to agree with what they are talking about. Just to reiterate what someone else said, you can't have love with complete selfishness. The reason is that loving inherently involves opening yourself up and becoming somewhat vulnerable. That kind of act is unselfish -- it takes someone else into conderation. I believe the term selfish implies an extreme -- only thinking about your needs, wants,etc. I believe the term unselfish, unlike "selfish," to be a middle word. I mean that it implies being somewhere between a doormat and a self-centered narcissist (sp?). It's healthy to look out for yourself. It's unhealthy to take that to an extreme -- which I believe is what those people meant by "selfish." Yes, we all must be "selfish" at times, but if we reconsider what that word means, maybe we could choose a different term to represent what really is just a healthy expression of our own self-survival techniques -- surely that is not selfish? Did I make sense?
And on the marriage topic -- I don't know. Isn't marriage suuposed to be a union? A joining of two people? Two hearts, one dream? In that case, they should give themselves to each other. Expecting the other person to reciprocate doesn't make it indirectly selfish -- I see it as a reward -- if it works out that way, because many marriages don't ... You can still retain your individuality, you just alter it and incorporate some of the differences in your partner that you have come to love.
Hmm...I don't think I can contribute to this discussion, but I will anyway, just because this is such a cool comment page. ;)
The whole assignment sounds kind of weird to me. Could a person really get a feel for married life just by doing an assignment.
*Magic Eight Ball*: "my sources say 'no'"
but then again......
And on the marriage topic -- I don't know. Isn't marriage suuposed to be a union? A joining of two people? Two hearts, one dream? In that case, they should give themselves to each other. Expecting the other person to reciprocate doesn't make it indirectly selfish -- I see it as a reward -- if it works out that way, because many marriages don't ... You can still retain your individuality, you just alter it and incorporate some of the differences in your partner that you have come to love.
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i love redefining words...it makes the debate last that much longer...and we all know i love to debate... ;-)
anyway, i agree in that they must not of meant true selflessness; who can give absolutes when talking about life?
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The whole assignment sounds kind of weird to me. Could a person really get a feel for married life just by doing an assignment.
*Magic Eight Ball*: "my sources say 'no'"
but then again......
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