(no subject)

[greenskyyy]

So, I've spoken to a few people about the things that have been on my mind, mainly housing. I feel like I'm lost and confused on the whole situation, to be quite honest. The possibility of living with Vanessa has come up, but I don't know if I really want to live with her. First off, even though we spoke about it yesterday, and about how great it would be, she still has yet to respond to the whole question if it's 100% for sure we're going to do it. I'm pretty sure my parents sent the housing deposit in, which, wouldn't you know it, is due friday. So, I'm still waiting to hear from her. But what is it I really want? I would love a single, but I want to live in Union Square, so what is the possibility of me getting a single there? Pretty fucking slim. So if I don't get a single, which, it doesn't look like I am, then it's a two double suite, and 3 completely random roommates. The whole situation sucks to be quite honest. I don't want to commute. Having to get up, catch the train, that sort of thing, catch the subway, would make me completely want to skip out on all of my classes- so I don't want to do that. I don't want to go random, but what choice do I have? I don't want to have things on a completely bad note with Vanessa. That's the last thing I want. To be honest, things with her haven't been amazing the last few months, same goes with Laura and Jessica. So, would I really want to live with her, assuming she gets back to me and is willing to commit? I'm not quite so sure. Whats a better situation, living with three complete strangers, or living with one of my best friends where things have been slightly off the past few months? If I lived with V, at least I'd have my own room, that'd be so nice. My own kitchen. Maybe I'd have to share a bathroom, but thats not so bad. If I lived in the dorm, I'd have to share my room, which I don't want to do, and share a bathroom with 3 other people. And who knows if my roommate even snores? That would be a serious issue. I feel like I'm a freshman with these problems, and it sucks, because I'm going to be a senior. I think, right now, if I could choose, I would want to live with Vanessa. Will she get back to me in time? Is it going to affect the relationships I have right now? I feel it might, and that's something that could cause issues in the future, that not only do I not want to deal with right now, and am completely putting off, but something I feel if I focus too much on, is going to drive me mad. I know my current friends don't really know her that well, and I hope that doesn't really change our relationship, our closeness. On the other hand, will living with vanessa really fuck things up between us? If we shared the same room, I'd say yes, it would completely, but having my own room definitely changes things.
I realllyy don't know what to do. Everyone including my mother seems to voice the same concerns. I have so much other shit going on in my life, why does this need to be one of my concerns right now? Why does everything need to be figured out by Friday? DAMMIT!