goodnight, and good luck
Midnight - the witching hour. The story goes that the faeries come out at times like this, sunrise and sunset, because they exist now between the worlds, and those moments are moments in between time. So here I am, a self-named liminal being coming back to this medium in the hour when dusk and dawn are as equidistant as my past and my future.
There's nothing like travel for knocking a mud-stuck wheel out of a rut. When I left Ithaca three weeks ago, I was leaving a broken home. Not that it had ever functioned that well as a whole, but the person I had inadvertently made my primary partner decided to leave me for another, both picking at the scabs of old insecurities and allowing me to find the tender pink skin underneath. I left. I watched everything seem to go wrong and still spread my wings and wove a spell and passed as a shadow: A night with Diana before moving on to Philly, 15 hours from there to Asheville, next day in Tennessee and several nights with almost no sleep, lots of new people and people I hadn't seen in a long time, and a beautiful wedding.
Then aimlessness, again, or perhaps seeking, "I'm running, not running away, but closing in on what I'm running to." Tried to hitch to Raleigh and for the first time since I left, couldn't get rides--instead landed in Asheville once again, where I let myself get stuck for over a week; such a strange week full of intense emotions, enticing opportunities. Left uncertainly and 24 hours later was coasting into Manhattan. Adventures and loving friends and back in Ithaca yesterday with many more questions than answers.
This post got vague as I got tired. I'm thinking of moving to Asheville, where I could work at the Ashevillage institute, on a farm project 20 minutes north of town, and contra dance a bunch with amazing dancers, a couple of whom I have major crushes on; I've been offered a place to live for free in Rosendale, NY, in exchange for a massage a month and some light gardening and maintenance--while there I can take another permaculture course, do work-trade for Green Phoenix Permaculture, do boat maintenance on the Sloop Clearwater and be 3 miles from someone I like a whole lot, but I haven't found paid work yet, nor a way to get around, nor anything specific to do with the time I don't spend on the work-trades; I could stay in Ithaca, look for work here, enjoy the new folks I've met, try to get more involved with projects I like, recommit to capoeira; and there are probably many other choices lurking out there if I'm willing to just cut ties and burn bridges to a certain extent.
I'd like to say I have half a clue, but all I know is I leave tomorrow for the Hudson Valley. I hope to be at the Chance Friday night to see Perfect Thyroid open up for the Wailers. I will be at Camp Epworth from 9-5 Saturday and Sunday, unless some folks decide to go see Levon Helm for free in Hurley 2-4 on Sunday. That's as much as I can say for my entire foreseeable future. Any ideas? More confusion is welcome!
There's nothing like travel for knocking a mud-stuck wheel out of a rut. When I left Ithaca three weeks ago, I was leaving a broken home. Not that it had ever functioned that well as a whole, but the person I had inadvertently made my primary partner decided to leave me for another, both picking at the scabs of old insecurities and allowing me to find the tender pink skin underneath. I left. I watched everything seem to go wrong and still spread my wings and wove a spell and passed as a shadow: A night with Diana before moving on to Philly, 15 hours from there to Asheville, next day in Tennessee and several nights with almost no sleep, lots of new people and people I hadn't seen in a long time, and a beautiful wedding.
Then aimlessness, again, or perhaps seeking, "I'm running, not running away, but closing in on what I'm running to." Tried to hitch to Raleigh and for the first time since I left, couldn't get rides--instead landed in Asheville once again, where I let myself get stuck for over a week; such a strange week full of intense emotions, enticing opportunities. Left uncertainly and 24 hours later was coasting into Manhattan. Adventures and loving friends and back in Ithaca yesterday with many more questions than answers.
This post got vague as I got tired. I'm thinking of moving to Asheville, where I could work at the Ashevillage institute, on a farm project 20 minutes north of town, and contra dance a bunch with amazing dancers, a couple of whom I have major crushes on; I've been offered a place to live for free in Rosendale, NY, in exchange for a massage a month and some light gardening and maintenance--while there I can take another permaculture course, do work-trade for Green Phoenix Permaculture, do boat maintenance on the Sloop Clearwater and be 3 miles from someone I like a whole lot, but I haven't found paid work yet, nor a way to get around, nor anything specific to do with the time I don't spend on the work-trades; I could stay in Ithaca, look for work here, enjoy the new folks I've met, try to get more involved with projects I like, recommit to capoeira; and there are probably many other choices lurking out there if I'm willing to just cut ties and burn bridges to a certain extent.
I'd like to say I have half a clue, but all I know is I leave tomorrow for the Hudson Valley. I hope to be at the Chance Friday night to see Perfect Thyroid open up for the Wailers. I will be at Camp Epworth from 9-5 Saturday and Sunday, unless some folks decide to go see Levon Helm for free in Hurley 2-4 on Sunday. That's as much as I can say for my entire foreseeable future. Any ideas? More confusion is welcome!