sing a new song
weird how time passes by and how things change so fast. thats been the story of my life for the past 5 years. things arent so great right now. well they never are. but they are getting better. there is hope. im not writing to say that i hate my life or that it sucks right now. it isnt all that great but i see a good side. my parents got me a car. a cheap used one, but i have a car!!! im excited to finally be able to travel without having to wait 30 minutes at the bus stop and then take another hour and a half to get to where im going. i loved riding my bike. but i cant ride it anymore. well i shouldnt but you cant take something i love that easily. i still do but i do it cautiously. what else? well there is finally a name to something that was undefined. thats good. now we can have a better understanding of what is going on. im about to have a break finally. 2 weeks of my 3 month summer. i wanna get out of austin for a while. i think i need family time right now. im about to be 23. weird. feeling very old and ive got the scars to prove it. i love these summer nights. i just want to drive for hours and feel the breeze and see the lights. i started writing again. i havent thought of it this way but i have been writing for a while. im trying to get back to me.
there is one thing though that i dislike. he keeps on attacking me. online. first he completely erased me from everything. then he puts up a song thats called my ex lover is dead. which says "im not sorry there is nothing to say between us anymore." and now he puts up this quote, which is a neil gaiman quote, that says he hates love. and im sure that didnt go up there because of someone else. it frustrates me. i just want to be left alone so i can move on. so i can let go. but he keeps on finding ways to give me pain. if anything i should be the one doing those things. i should hate him and hate love because of how destroyed i was. he broke up with me, he broke my heart. and im in a lot of pain, but i dont do those things. i still believe in love. i still love him. i wish him well. i want him to be happy. i dont want him to suffer because i am. guys are so stupid.
anyway. im about to start school again. on the 21st. its really scary. i hope i can do it. what makes me feel better is that im not the only one feeling like i do. a lot of my friends dont know if they want to teach. theyre scared about this semester. they dont know if they can handle it. but they can. we can. and hopefully i will graduate in december. and that will be a great day for me.
oh and i love abba.
there is one thing though that i dislike. he keeps on attacking me. online. first he completely erased me from everything. then he puts up a song thats called my ex lover is dead. which says "im not sorry there is nothing to say between us anymore." and now he puts up this quote, which is a neil gaiman quote, that says he hates love. and im sure that didnt go up there because of someone else. it frustrates me. i just want to be left alone so i can move on. so i can let go. but he keeps on finding ways to give me pain. if anything i should be the one doing those things. i should hate him and hate love because of how destroyed i was. he broke up with me, he broke my heart. and im in a lot of pain, but i dont do those things. i still believe in love. i still love him. i wish him well. i want him to be happy. i dont want him to suffer because i am. guys are so stupid.
anyway. im about to start school again. on the 21st. its really scary. i hope i can do it. what makes me feel better is that im not the only one feeling like i do. a lot of my friends dont know if they want to teach. theyre scared about this semester. they dont know if they can handle it. but they can. we can. and hopefully i will graduate in december. and that will be a great day for me.
oh and i love abba.