Attitude; part 1
I haven't updated in mooonths...
Too much to say. Not enough to say. Too many words, too few. Whatever the case, I think I have been saving up!
About six months ago, I found out from my daughter that she was planning to file the business plan as a sole proprietorship. She decided that the coffee shoppe needed to be hers and hers alone. Oh, it was ok for mom to run along in the background and sign up as a silent partner and put her financials on the line but the entire ownership of said business would be hers. John could work for her; Peter and Chris could work for her; Mom could work for her. But the business was hers.
About 3 months ago, mid-faire, I found out that my daughter wanted to move out of the apartment and move into a house. Somehow, without a current valid form of Id or current drivers license, she intends to get a job, fill out applications for a house, get utilities in her name and exist in the world. When we had a practical discussion about it, her basic idea is that if she wants something bad enough, it will happen.
About a month ago, I found out that my daughter wants to BUY a house. She has been planning to do this with John and Chris. John, who is 23 years old and has $24,000 in collections debt right now; Chris, who has no high school diploma or GED, has been hired at his present job for less than one year and gets paid under the table. This is the same daughter who works for me part time; still hasn't gotten off her butt to take the test again to have a learners permit or schedule the driving test; hasn't completed her business plan; hasn't lived in the real world and yet tells me that if she moves out and fails, I will be the last one she comes to for help because I've raised her and spent enough of my money and time and emotions over the last 18 years of her life. "It's time for you to live for yourself now, Mom."
So now I feel pain. Pain because I have raised a human being who has turned out ignorant, and selfish, and blind. I haven't handed her everything on a silver platter. She's had to work for the things she has gotten. She pays a portion of rent to me to help with the food and the utilities. We discuss financial matters. We budget for things. We shop together. We make lists and menus and plans. And yet, somehow she thinks her pitance of a wage will somehow make her able to survive out there.
And now she says she is ready to start a family. Not literally. She's not pregnant. She just wants the house and the dog and her own lifestyle.
So I talked a bit to John about it. Yup, he'd like a house and a family too. And They plan to have that with Chris. But he recognizes the problems in her little plan. She wants to fit into Yuppy-dom. Nice house, nice car, neighbors, friends, kids... But she doesn't want to give up her attitudes about things.
Examples of this:
A bank or other lending institution should loan her money because she promises to pay it back.
People in her neighborhood shouldn't care that she's pagan. They shouldn't ever be concerned about what religion she is.
When she has kids, it should be ok that sometimes she sleeps with Uncle John and sometimes with Uncle Chris and none of the other mommies and daddies of her kids friends should be worried about it.
Dungeons and Dragons adventures lasting long into the night is a good excuse to report late to work due to lack of sleep.
THESE ATTITUDES DID NOT COME FROM ME! (Ok, maybe the religion part; but I'm old enough and set in my ways enough and intimidating enough to carry it well).
Too much to say. Not enough to say. Too many words, too few. Whatever the case, I think I have been saving up!
About six months ago, I found out from my daughter that she was planning to file the business plan as a sole proprietorship. She decided that the coffee shoppe needed to be hers and hers alone. Oh, it was ok for mom to run along in the background and sign up as a silent partner and put her financials on the line but the entire ownership of said business would be hers. John could work for her; Peter and Chris could work for her; Mom could work for her. But the business was hers.
About 3 months ago, mid-faire, I found out that my daughter wanted to move out of the apartment and move into a house. Somehow, without a current valid form of Id or current drivers license, she intends to get a job, fill out applications for a house, get utilities in her name and exist in the world. When we had a practical discussion about it, her basic idea is that if she wants something bad enough, it will happen.
About a month ago, I found out that my daughter wants to BUY a house. She has been planning to do this with John and Chris. John, who is 23 years old and has $24,000 in collections debt right now; Chris, who has no high school diploma or GED, has been hired at his present job for less than one year and gets paid under the table. This is the same daughter who works for me part time; still hasn't gotten off her butt to take the test again to have a learners permit or schedule the driving test; hasn't completed her business plan; hasn't lived in the real world and yet tells me that if she moves out and fails, I will be the last one she comes to for help because I've raised her and spent enough of my money and time and emotions over the last 18 years of her life. "It's time for you to live for yourself now, Mom."
So now I feel pain. Pain because I have raised a human being who has turned out ignorant, and selfish, and blind. I haven't handed her everything on a silver platter. She's had to work for the things she has gotten. She pays a portion of rent to me to help with the food and the utilities. We discuss financial matters. We budget for things. We shop together. We make lists and menus and plans. And yet, somehow she thinks her pitance of a wage will somehow make her able to survive out there.
And now she says she is ready to start a family. Not literally. She's not pregnant. She just wants the house and the dog and her own lifestyle.
So I talked a bit to John about it. Yup, he'd like a house and a family too. And They plan to have that with Chris. But he recognizes the problems in her little plan. She wants to fit into Yuppy-dom. Nice house, nice car, neighbors, friends, kids... But she doesn't want to give up her attitudes about things.
Examples of this:
A bank or other lending institution should loan her money because she promises to pay it back.
People in her neighborhood shouldn't care that she's pagan. They shouldn't ever be concerned about what religion she is.
When she has kids, it should be ok that sometimes she sleeps with Uncle John and sometimes with Uncle Chris and none of the other mommies and daddies of her kids friends should be worried about it.
Dungeons and Dragons adventures lasting long into the night is a good excuse to report late to work due to lack of sleep.
THESE ATTITUDES DID NOT COME FROM ME! (Ok, maybe the religion part; but I'm old enough and set in my ways enough and intimidating enough to carry it well).