(no subject)
Blah. What a day. I fought with Ben today. Like I really fought with him. When he dropped me off I wouldn't even tell him I Love You. It was stupid too. I hate the way I am. I got pissed because he didn't want to spend the rest of the day with me..he wanted to go to his friends house and play poker. So when he told me that he wasn't gonna cancel I got all pissed off and started ignoring him and I shoved him away from me the whole rest of the time we were at his house. Then I through guilt trips on him..to try to make him change his mind..why do I act like this. GOD I'm so fuckin stupid. I love him so much and I'm afraid I'm pushing him away. He's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me next to my nieces. He's always there for me, he puts up with so much shit. I swear if I could give him the world I would. I hate when I act like this. I can only hope that he'll forgive me.