Take note.
I deleted two earlier entries, simply because they were about stuff that I should've kept to myself. So yesterday I felt like a complete dirt bag. Not sure if what I read was supposed to make me feel like that, but it did. This will be the second time I'm stuck in the position of a close friend having feelings for me, and despite the fact that, that friend is the sweetest person on earth and would probably be awesome within a relationship if I were to pursue it... I can't return the feelings. I've hurt nice guys like that in the past, so I feel I'm better off staying away for fear of hurting another. I know I fucked up in past relationships but I've learned from them, and will NEVER go down that road again. However, after having a conversation with Nik last night I realized I have that feeling of guilt and disgust with myself burnt into my mind, and the memory of feeling so low still in my gut. With feelings like that still lingering its hard to picture any future relationships.