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Arrested Development! Squee!
Bob Loblaw: "Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed? You don't need double talk! You need Bob Loblaw."
"Identity Theft Victims (cash only)"
Not!George: "Yeah, but you're not the one stuck under house arrest like a sitting duck."
Michael: "Yeah, that's my father. That's why we had the meeting here, so that he couldn't interfere."
Not!George: "Interfere? I oughta pull down your pants and spank your ass raw."
Michael: "...I'm sorry, have we met?"
Bob Loblaw: "Oh yes, this is Larry Middleman, he's your father's surrogate."
Michael: "Surrogate?"
Not!George: "That's right, you dumb !@#$%%^."
George watching the meeting over satellite!
GOB: You got a date?
Michael: Her name's Rita, she teaches children at a private school. We're just having lunch.
GOB: Oh. Lunch? Then you better bring some dog food. 'Cause all the girls you date are dogs. *laughs* Dogs love dog food, right Pop?
Not!George: Shut up, you idiot, I'm trying to watch the game.
GOB: I'm just trying to make you laugh, Dad. *whispers melodramatically into the camera* That's all I ever wanted!
George, watching over satellite: *changes the channel*
Lindsay: How do you think I feel? Bob Loblaw is a handsome, professional man, and I'm only used to, well, none of those things.
Tobias: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over? An analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.
Lindsay: Yes, and you were almost arrested for those business cards.
Tobias: Yes. No, it did not look good on paper. But I didn't stop because of the police. I stopped so I could raise our daughter. And now that we're both growing hair in unexpected places, I might be a leading man soon, and she might start dating.
George-Michael: Good. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually.
GOB: Steve Holt is not my son.
George-Michael: Steve Holt? That dumb jock?
GOB: That's my son, you pothead!
Michael: Yeah, that's a cultural thing. The average American male lives in a state of perpetual adolescence, arrested development....
Narrator: Hey! That's the name of this show!
Buster's fake boobs!
GOB, trying to pick up Michael's date: Hey, if you like the small, how about trying the medium? Hey? *tries to high five Michael*
Mary Poppuns!
Tobias: See, it's not the seal you're afraid of, it's Lucille.
Buster: *gasp*
Tobias: Oh! I'm getting chills! If this was a lifetime moment of truth movie, this would be our act break.
Narrator: But it wasn't.
Steve Holt: I'm doing your cousin tonight.
George-Michael: So are you!
Tobias: Here, take my card.
Buster: *gasp*
Tobias: No, that's not how it's pronounced.
Buster: It's not the pronunciation that bothered me.
GOB: Well, in our defense, Mom, we're not exactly dog people.
Buster: Tobias was analraping me.
GOB: Hey, friend. We really want you at the party. We're really nice now!
GOB: We're nice!
Lucille: Great. Now she'll tell Michael, and he won't hear about the good stuff, he'll just hear about the beating.
Tobias: This is a roofie!
Lucille: Those are illegal!
GOB: Shut up, Mom. Don't make me use another one of these on you.
Lucille: *gasp*
Buster: *gasp*
Michael enters the room
George: There he is, my favorite son!
GOB: Everybody's favorite son!
Tobias: *grabs Michael's backside*
Lindsay: You said you didn't have a family?
GOB: Everybody's favorite son!
Tobias: *spanks Michael*
GOB: Take this and love us again!
Maeby: I gave him a roofie. A girl's gotta grow up sometime.
George-Michael: But he's your cousin! I should've told you before, but now you've drugged him and had your way with him! How is that even possible?
Maeby: No, don't you see? I drugged him so I wouldn't have to go to bed with him.
George-Michael: I guess even the anti-drug people have to be okay with that.
Michael: I want to tell you everything, if you're willing to listen.
Rita: I'm a very good listener.
Michael: Great. I'm gonna start with the misdemeanours, then push right through to the light treasons....
Steve Holt: I made a huge mistake.
GOB: I know the feeling. I had you. I'm your father, Steve Holt! I can't hide from it anymore.
Steve Holt: I won't forget this. Dad! *leaves*
GOB: *puts roofie in his mouth* I will. I will.
I love this show!
Bob Loblaw: "Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed? You don't need double talk! You need Bob Loblaw."
"Identity Theft Victims (cash only)"
Not!George: "Yeah, but you're not the one stuck under house arrest like a sitting duck."
Michael: "Yeah, that's my father. That's why we had the meeting here, so that he couldn't interfere."
Not!George: "Interfere? I oughta pull down your pants and spank your ass raw."
Michael: "...I'm sorry, have we met?"
Bob Loblaw: "Oh yes, this is Larry Middleman, he's your father's surrogate."
Michael: "Surrogate?"
Not!George: "That's right, you dumb !@#$%%^."
George watching the meeting over satellite!
GOB: You got a date?
Michael: Her name's Rita, she teaches children at a private school. We're just having lunch.
GOB: Oh. Lunch? Then you better bring some dog food. 'Cause all the girls you date are dogs. *laughs* Dogs love dog food, right Pop?
Not!George: Shut up, you idiot, I'm trying to watch the game.
GOB: I'm just trying to make you laugh, Dad. *whispers melodramatically into the camera* That's all I ever wanted!
George, watching over satellite: *changes the channel*
Lindsay: How do you think I feel? Bob Loblaw is a handsome, professional man, and I'm only used to, well, none of those things.
Tobias: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over? An analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.
Lindsay: Yes, and you were almost arrested for those business cards.
Tobias: Yes. No, it did not look good on paper. But I didn't stop because of the police. I stopped so I could raise our daughter. And now that we're both growing hair in unexpected places, I might be a leading man soon, and she might start dating.
George-Michael: Good. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually.
GOB: Steve Holt is not my son.
George-Michael: Steve Holt? That dumb jock?
GOB: That's my son, you pothead!
Michael: Yeah, that's a cultural thing. The average American male lives in a state of perpetual adolescence, arrested development....
Narrator: Hey! That's the name of this show!
Buster's fake boobs!
GOB, trying to pick up Michael's date: Hey, if you like the small, how about trying the medium? Hey? *tries to high five Michael*
Mary Poppuns!
Tobias: See, it's not the seal you're afraid of, it's Lucille.
Buster: *gasp*
Tobias: Oh! I'm getting chills! If this was a lifetime moment of truth movie, this would be our act break.
Narrator: But it wasn't.
Steve Holt: I'm doing your cousin tonight.
George-Michael: So are you!
Tobias: Here, take my card.
Buster: *gasp*
Tobias: No, that's not how it's pronounced.
Buster: It's not the pronunciation that bothered me.
GOB: Well, in our defense, Mom, we're not exactly dog people.
Buster: Tobias was analraping me.
GOB: Hey, friend. We really want you at the party. We're really nice now!
GOB: We're nice!
Lucille: Great. Now she'll tell Michael, and he won't hear about the good stuff, he'll just hear about the beating.
Tobias: This is a roofie!
Lucille: Those are illegal!
GOB: Shut up, Mom. Don't make me use another one of these on you.
Lucille: *gasp*
Buster: *gasp*
Michael enters the room
George: There he is, my favorite son!
GOB: Everybody's favorite son!
Tobias: *grabs Michael's backside*
Lindsay: You said you didn't have a family?
GOB: Everybody's favorite son!
Tobias: *spanks Michael*
GOB: Take this and love us again!
Maeby: I gave him a roofie. A girl's gotta grow up sometime.
George-Michael: But he's your cousin! I should've told you before, but now you've drugged him and had your way with him! How is that even possible?
Maeby: No, don't you see? I drugged him so I wouldn't have to go to bed with him.
George-Michael: I guess even the anti-drug people have to be okay with that.
Michael: I want to tell you everything, if you're willing to listen.
Rita: I'm a very good listener.
Michael: Great. I'm gonna start with the misdemeanours, then push right through to the light treasons....
Steve Holt: I made a huge mistake.
GOB: I know the feeling. I had you. I'm your father, Steve Holt! I can't hide from it anymore.
Steve Holt: I won't forget this. Dad! *leaves*
GOB: *puts roofie in his mouth* I will. I will.
I love this show!