hey life! You stink...
ok, so aside from my throat looking "like hell" (direct quote from my doctor), life's sailing pretty smooth right now.
I did have that whole almost nervous breakdown last weekend, which I won't deny, was a pretty bad time, but now since I've turned in both my papers (annnd I got a 100 on the first! squee) I'm calming down nicely.
I still don't know if my faith in myself is fully back, but I hope it will be soon. After everything that has happened to me, that's the first time I've ever lost it that bad. I mean yeah, I've cried a lot (what girl hasn't?) and I've gotten mad and slightly depressed, but to lose my entire faith in myself, my faith that I will preservere through whatever? It was a truly scary time for me.
Mommy and Daddy helped me through it (though Dad doesn't know I'm failing three classes - and hopefully he will NEVAH know!) and also Jessica. Yeah, she can be a giant pain in my ass sometimes, but she's there when I really need it. And at that time, I really needed it.
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Anyway, onto my throat. One word:
DAMN.
My tonsils/lymph glands (you know those globes to the left and right of the thing that hangs down in your throat) look like shiiiit. They are all white veined and yellow particles are chilling on them and all my capillaries are very pronounced. UGH. Definite infection. And through my doctor gave me z-pack/pax, and I took TWO fscking tablets today, it's seemed to get WORSE.
It hurts like a BITCH to swallow, which I seem to be convulsively doing every few seconds. It feels like there is a giant hazelnut stuck under my tongue in the back right of my mouth. FABULOUSSSS
Not so much coughing now, but I'd rather have that then this pain.
Speaking of pain, my desk is right nest to my window and at night, things hit against it, freaking the SHEET outta me. Like right now. I'm betting everything it is just a bug attracted by my light, but my OVERactive imagination is making it seem sooo much worse. eeehhh...
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Anyway, last night and tonight, all of us (Mum, Dad, Kami and I) flipped back and forth between Star Wars and LOTR. (epis 1 - last night, epis 2 - tonight) TNT is playing the entire 3 movies while SpikeTV is playing the entire saga of SW (all 6), which I am totally going to be suckered in to watching. Not that I mind though :)
Dad is about halfway done with the boat ramp. He already finished the sea wall (which I helped with) and will probably finish the ramp tomorrow. He and Mum and whoever is home before the PARTY will be working every weekend up til the PARTY to get the back yard in shape for the PARTY.
the PARTY = joint party for my birthday (May 26), Dad's birthday (May 31) and Kristin's graduation (May ?). It's on May 17 and there are going to be sooo many people here. The only thing we are worried about is our one bathroom. We four never really had any problem with one bathroom, plus we have no room to build onto the house and it would look tres weird for a random part to stick out. But I really don't think it'll be THAT bad.
I really want a surprise party for my birthday, but I sincerely doubt I'll get one. My friends at FAU really aren't the kind to do that. I went to all their parties last year, even got them gifts and they couldn't spare one hour to drive up to surprise me on my birthday. Sighh
Speaking of which, ZOMG I'm going to be 20.
It's kind of scary, I won't lie. I'll be 1/5 of a century, 2 years away from graduating. It's just weird how it seems like just yesterday I was 16 and being carefree with my friends. Which reminds me, the more time goes by in college, the more I miss high school.
Everything was so much simpler in high school. Cheaper too. I would love to be able to go back and do the four years again. I might change some things - like making better grades and not letting Sanz the DOUCHEBAG be so much of a, well DOUCHEBAG to me or Kristin.
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I had a dream the other night about meeting up with him on the FAU campus (scary SCARY THOUGHT - I'm praying it will never EVER happen) and I totally was a bitch to him and absolutely loving it! For example, he said, "hey Megan" and I looked at him confused and was like "Do I know you? Oh right, you're the douchebag asshole who kicked me out of band because I wanted to take a class that would get me a Science Endorsement that would help me in college!" (bitchy smug I hate your pathetic ass look on my face) Oh, by the way, I heard you got a divorce. Guess you got tired of Anisa always wearing the pants in the relationship huh? (bitchy smug look grows)
I was smiling when I woke up :}
Oh, that reminds me, after I got kicked OUT of band, evidently DOUCHEBAG kept reading my lj, because you know he obviously likes being thought of as a perv, reading a 17 year old's lj, and when I said something along the lines of "I wish I could have stuck my foot up her ass" (because she always used to (somehow) find me at my worst (shin splints flaring up or upset about something) and she's smile her annoying little patronizing smile and say "Smile Megan, I never seen you smiling") He caught up with me one day and asked me if I knew what libel and slander was. I was like "yeah" and he said "then I suggest you take down those comments on your journal before I press charges"
If that had happened to me now, I would have stared at him for a few seconds before bursting into laughter and pushing by him, maybe deigning to say "go ahead and try asshat!" Then I was only 17 and he was still an authority (however dubious) figure and I was a pussy.
I should have just been like "two words Sanz - first amendment" then flounced away, laughing like the bitchy smug girl I can be. But alas, the past is the past. I actually really wish I could see him once more, just to be the most insane bitch to him EVER!
ok, well he'll get the message sooner or later (god save him, if he's still reading this - SANZ YOU ARE A FSCKING PERVERT, YOU PEDO!)
Anyway, I feel like hell warmed over (or should it be froze over?) and I'm super tired.
We're going out on the boat tomorrow! YAY!
Out
ps - I realllly need to be doing my education project, but I'm too much like my icon for this post! teehee! :}
I did have that whole almost nervous breakdown last weekend, which I won't deny, was a pretty bad time, but now since I've turned in both my papers (annnd I got a 100 on the first! squee) I'm calming down nicely.
I still don't know if my faith in myself is fully back, but I hope it will be soon. After everything that has happened to me, that's the first time I've ever lost it that bad. I mean yeah, I've cried a lot (what girl hasn't?) and I've gotten mad and slightly depressed, but to lose my entire faith in myself, my faith that I will preservere through whatever? It was a truly scary time for me.
Mommy and Daddy helped me through it (though Dad doesn't know I'm failing three classes - and hopefully he will NEVAH know!) and also Jessica. Yeah, she can be a giant pain in my ass sometimes, but she's there when I really need it. And at that time, I really needed it.
-----------------------------------------------
Anyway, onto my throat. One word:
DAMN.
My tonsils/lymph glands (you know those globes to the left and right of the thing that hangs down in your throat) look like shiiiit. They are all white veined and yellow particles are chilling on them and all my capillaries are very pronounced. UGH. Definite infection. And through my doctor gave me z-pack/pax, and I took TWO fscking tablets today, it's seemed to get WORSE.
It hurts like a BITCH to swallow, which I seem to be convulsively doing every few seconds. It feels like there is a giant hazelnut stuck under my tongue in the back right of my mouth. FABULOUSSSS
Not so much coughing now, but I'd rather have that then this pain.
Speaking of pain, my desk is right nest to my window and at night, things hit against it, freaking the SHEET outta me. Like right now. I'm betting everything it is just a bug attracted by my light, but my OVERactive imagination is making it seem sooo much worse. eeehhh...
-----------------------------------------------
Anyway, last night and tonight, all of us (Mum, Dad, Kami and I) flipped back and forth between Star Wars and LOTR. (epis 1 - last night, epis 2 - tonight) TNT is playing the entire 3 movies while SpikeTV is playing the entire saga of SW (all 6), which I am totally going to be suckered in to watching. Not that I mind though :)
Dad is about halfway done with the boat ramp. He already finished the sea wall (which I helped with) and will probably finish the ramp tomorrow. He and Mum and whoever is home before the PARTY will be working every weekend up til the PARTY to get the back yard in shape for the PARTY.
the PARTY = joint party for my birthday (May 26), Dad's birthday (May 31) and Kristin's graduation (May ?). It's on May 17 and there are going to be sooo many people here. The only thing we are worried about is our one bathroom. We four never really had any problem with one bathroom, plus we have no room to build onto the house and it would look tres weird for a random part to stick out. But I really don't think it'll be THAT bad.
I really want a surprise party for my birthday, but I sincerely doubt I'll get one. My friends at FAU really aren't the kind to do that. I went to all their parties last year, even got them gifts and they couldn't spare one hour to drive up to surprise me on my birthday. Sighh
Speaking of which, ZOMG I'm going to be 20.
It's kind of scary, I won't lie. I'll be 1/5 of a century, 2 years away from graduating. It's just weird how it seems like just yesterday I was 16 and being carefree with my friends. Which reminds me, the more time goes by in college, the more I miss high school.
Everything was so much simpler in high school. Cheaper too. I would love to be able to go back and do the four years again. I might change some things - like making better grades and not letting Sanz the DOUCHEBAG be so much of a, well DOUCHEBAG to me or Kristin.
-----------------------------------------------
I had a dream the other night about meeting up with him on the FAU campus (scary SCARY THOUGHT - I'm praying it will never EVER happen) and I totally was a bitch to him and absolutely loving it! For example, he said, "hey Megan" and I looked at him confused and was like "Do I know you? Oh right, you're the douchebag asshole who kicked me out of band because I wanted to take a class that would get me a Science Endorsement that would help me in college!" (bitchy smug I hate your pathetic ass look on my face) Oh, by the way, I heard you got a divorce. Guess you got tired of Anisa always wearing the pants in the relationship huh? (bitchy smug look grows)
I was smiling when I woke up :}
Oh, that reminds me, after I got kicked OUT of band, evidently DOUCHEBAG kept reading my lj, because you know he obviously likes being thought of as a perv, reading a 17 year old's lj, and when I said something along the lines of "I wish I could have stuck my foot up her ass" (because she always used to (somehow) find me at my worst (shin splints flaring up or upset about something) and she's smile her annoying little patronizing smile and say "Smile Megan, I never seen you smiling") He caught up with me one day and asked me if I knew what libel and slander was. I was like "yeah" and he said "then I suggest you take down those comments on your journal before I press charges"
If that had happened to me now, I would have stared at him for a few seconds before bursting into laughter and pushing by him, maybe deigning to say "go ahead and try asshat!" Then I was only 17 and he was still an authority (however dubious) figure and I was a pussy.
I should have just been like "two words Sanz - first amendment" then flounced away, laughing like the bitchy smug girl I can be. But alas, the past is the past. I actually really wish I could see him once more, just to be the most insane bitch to him EVER!
ok, well he'll get the message sooner or later (god save him, if he's still reading this - SANZ YOU ARE A FSCKING PERVERT, YOU PEDO!)
Anyway, I feel like hell warmed over (or should it be froze over?) and I'm super tired.
We're going out on the boat tomorrow! YAY!
Out
ps - I realllly need to be doing my education project, but I'm too much like my icon for this post! teehee! :}