Oh don't apologize. You make a ton of sense. Here's how I am feeling today though:
I feel like maybe I lost sight of the big picture. I think I was being too selfish to recognize that we could have put our heads together more. I was not feeling mentally stimulated...true. But I can't expect one person to be everything for me. Overall, he loved me. It's hard to describe, because of course people love each other in a relationship. He loved me for WHO I AM, deep down, flaws and all. He gave me the purest kind of love people wish for everyday. And I didn't take it for total granted, but I did lose sight of what was important. Which ultimately, is having someone who loves you for YOU. I got what I want and what I NEED mixed up.
Don't get me wrong, he has his flaws too. His life was really a mess. Now he says he needs to take time alone to clean it up. He is tired, and I hurt him. Fair enough. But I wish I could have seen these consequences beforehand. I feel like there were things we could have done, but I was being stupid and let go too easy. Now I am paying for it.
Our ideals didn't match entirely. But he didn't mind not gtting married to me. He understood and accepted how I felt. I guess the living situation did bother me. I would have liked to have lived with him, but our circumstances made it impossible anytime in the near future. Anyways, we had a lot of differences and I did start to feel like we weren't "right" for each other. But now it's hard to remember that feeling, because I just feel like i threw away a good thing...
I feel like maybe I lost sight of the big picture. I think I was being too selfish to recognize that we could have put our heads together more. I was not feeling mentally stimulated...true. But I can't expect one person to be everything for me. Overall, he loved me. It's hard to describe, because of course people love each other in a relationship. He loved me for WHO I AM, deep down, flaws and all. He gave me the purest kind of love people wish for everyday. And I didn't take it for total granted, but I did lose sight of what was important. Which ultimately, is having someone who loves you for YOU. I got what I want and what I NEED mixed up.
Don't get me wrong, he has his flaws too. His life was really a mess. Now he says he needs to take time alone to clean it up. He is tired, and I hurt him. Fair enough. But I wish I could have seen these consequences beforehand. I feel like there were things we could have done, but I was being stupid and let go too easy. Now I am paying for it.
Our ideals didn't match entirely. But he didn't mind not gtting married to me. He understood and accepted how I felt. I guess the living situation did bother me. I would have liked to have lived with him, but our circumstances made it impossible anytime in the near future. Anyways, we had a lot of differences and I did start to feel like we weren't "right" for each other. But now it's hard to remember that feeling, because I just feel like i threw away a good thing...
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