Where am I

[greenhours]

This is my haunting question, a question about my existence. This is the question that consumes my energy, periodically? no. every slimy moment of my fucking life. The routine of my day will be constantly interrupted by a compulsive need to see my reflection.It sectioned out in periods of need to have some one look at me, to have them speak to me

Comments

Suffering

[stephenp]

There is much in my life that troubles me. Thoughts that come and return often which threaten my personal equilibrium. Each time this happens, I listen, and accept these thoughts, and experience them fully, trying to examine the reason for which each thought comes. Once I have heard their sound, felt their vibrations in the depths of my inner soul, I let them go; as a bird flies from it's life long cage, or as a plant that grows from the earth, reaching for the warmth and energy of the world.

Growing up, I learned to listen, and I learned to wait. These things I have learned to do very well. Without these, I have nothing. As with all things, Time is an illusion, the past and the future are shadows of the Self. With the Self in the now, completely, we experience the world. It's suffering and pleasures, it's deepest vibrations, and divine stillness.

A man in a bar told me once, that the only thing we possess, and can ever possess, is ourselves. I think he meant by this that reality is an illusion and truth is the only thing worth seeking. All else leads to suffering. In seeking the truth, we are our own greatest enemy. A desire for comfort keeps our mind firmly rooted in the ways of the world. These bodies, and things, and things, and things, hold us back.

The Self is not the body, it is not consciousness. The Self does not seek and it does not find. The Self cannot be destroyed. It is timeless and indefinable. The Self has a form and pattern unique to the individual. Though finite, it's reaches cannot be known to those who have not transcended it.