Balewatch Part 10
Batman Begins - 2005.
It's been five years, Twitter. Five years since Christian Bale took the cowl and the world became a better place.
Me: Don't run near the thing, Bruce! It will lead you to bats. Thankfully you didn't become Well-Man as a result of this trauma.
Me: Old man: Did you dream? Bruce: Well, I am in a Chris Nolan movie.
Me: BatBale pledges the Criminal Fraternity. They have the best hazing parties.
Ann: Neeson: "If you make yourself MORE than just a man..." Batbale: "That is ALL I DO." (HIGHLY PROFESSIONAL.)
BatBale: I don't want a blue flower. I want a spinning top.
Ducard: Sorry. We're all out of those.
Ann: The blue flower will make you *see* a spinning top.
Me: CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN! PICK EVERY FLOWERRRRRRR. FOLLOW EVERY SNOW-TOP TILL YOU....do whatever you desire. Idek.
Me: "Oh my god, Tom Hardy fucked Batman's mom."
Ann: Rachel: Fight evil through legislation! Bruce: I don't need a rubber suit for that.
Ann: Batbale just went ninjalicious. That's a thing.
Ann: "Why're we going to Gotham?" "We need Morgan Freeman."
Ann: Look, Alfred, nobody wants to sleep in their parents' bed.
Me: "Bruce, stop scrapbooking, oh my god."
Me: This is a fucking creepy opera to take a kid to. Poor parenting choices can lead to death in alleys.
Rutger Hauer: *appears*
Me: HE'S A ROBOT.
Ann: Bruce is not really sorry to disappoint. #smugbitch
Me: Ducard is teaching Batman how to gracefully disappear in a room.
Ann: I had thought exactly.
Me: College-Bale. #awesome Playing younger versions of yourself in the same movie = very professional.
Batman-Cobb: "It's not the way I deal with things."
Ann: I want to work a dead-end job like Morgan Freeman's. #basementfullofawesome #nothowthatsounds #maybe
Me: I want to go spelunking with Batman. #yeahbaybee
Ann: "You can't fire Morgan Freeman. YOU CAN'T FIRE GOD."
Me: There are palms in Bruce Wayne's bedroom.
Me: I want to see his mask.
Ann: YOU GUYS, WE ARE ABOUT TO SEE HIS MASK.
Me: "Well, he's not faking." Scarecrow only induces real orgasms.
Ann: Nobody makes Batman sound hotter than when Scarecrow says it.
Me:
Me: Bats: WE ARE HERE. WE ARE HERE. Scarecrow: So unfair. Did I call the crows? NO.
Ann: Next time I appear to belligerently, drunkenly tell you all to leave, assume I did it to save your lives. #antisocialforYOU
Me: Every time we come from the Narrows, it reminds me why we do what we do.
Ann: It does? It does.
Me: HE'S ON A HORSE, MOTHERFUCKER.
Ann: Cillian Murphy is on a horse. #inabag #onahorse #likeaboss #acrazyboss
Ann: Batman does not wait for trains. HE FUCKING RIDES THEM INTO THE HEART OF HELL.
Me: "I won't kill you. But I don't have to save you."
Ann: This is my motto for 2011.
Me: Crane: *frolics freely in the streets*
Gordon: "I never said thank you."
Batman: "And you'll never have to."
Professional Scores:
Character:
Bruce Wayne
Ann:9
Sally: 8
Batman
Ann: 9
Sally: 9
Personal:
Ann: 8
Sally: 8
Special Mention:
Cillian Murphy - Best Supporting Professional Psychotic
Morgan Freeman - Gold star for being God.
Bonus
It's been five years, Twitter. Five years since Christian Bale took the cowl and the world became a better place.
Me: Don't run near the thing, Bruce! It will lead you to bats. Thankfully you didn't become Well-Man as a result of this trauma.
Me: Old man: Did you dream? Bruce: Well, I am in a Chris Nolan movie.
Me: BatBale pledges the Criminal Fraternity. They have the best hazing parties.
Ann: Neeson: "If you make yourself MORE than just a man..." Batbale: "That is ALL I DO." (HIGHLY PROFESSIONAL.)
BatBale: I don't want a blue flower. I want a spinning top.
Ducard: Sorry. We're all out of those.
Ann: The blue flower will make you *see* a spinning top.
Me: CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN! PICK EVERY FLOWERRRRRRR. FOLLOW EVERY SNOW-TOP TILL YOU....do whatever you desire. Idek.
Me: "Oh my god, Tom Hardy fucked Batman's mom."
Ann: Rachel: Fight evil through legislation! Bruce: I don't need a rubber suit for that.
Ann: Batbale just went ninjalicious. That's a thing.
Ann: "Why're we going to Gotham?" "We need Morgan Freeman."
Ann: Look, Alfred, nobody wants to sleep in their parents' bed.
Me: "Bruce, stop scrapbooking, oh my god."
Me: This is a fucking creepy opera to take a kid to. Poor parenting choices can lead to death in alleys.
Rutger Hauer: *appears*
Me: HE'S A ROBOT.
Ann: Bruce is not really sorry to disappoint. #smugbitch
Me: Ducard is teaching Batman how to gracefully disappear in a room.
Ann: I had thought exactly.
Me: College-Bale. #awesome Playing younger versions of yourself in the same movie = very professional.
Batman-Cobb: "It's not the way I deal with things."
Ann: I want to work a dead-end job like Morgan Freeman's. #basementfullofawesome #nothowthatsounds #maybe
Me: I want to go spelunking with Batman. #yeahbaybee
Ann: "You can't fire Morgan Freeman. YOU CAN'T FIRE GOD."
Me: There are palms in Bruce Wayne's bedroom.
Me: I want to see his mask.
Ann: YOU GUYS, WE ARE ABOUT TO SEE HIS MASK.
Me: "Well, he's not faking." Scarecrow only induces real orgasms.
Ann: Nobody makes Batman sound hotter than when Scarecrow says it.
Me:
Me: Bats: WE ARE HERE. WE ARE HERE. Scarecrow: So unfair. Did I call the crows? NO.
Ann: Next time I appear to belligerently, drunkenly tell you all to leave, assume I did it to save your lives. #antisocialforYOU
Me: Every time we come from the Narrows, it reminds me why we do what we do.
Ann: It does? It does.
Me: HE'S ON A HORSE, MOTHERFUCKER.
Ann: Cillian Murphy is on a horse. #inabag #onahorse #likeaboss #acrazyboss
Ann: Batman does not wait for trains. HE FUCKING RIDES THEM INTO THE HEART OF HELL.
Me: "I won't kill you. But I don't have to save you."
Ann: This is my motto for 2011.
Me: Crane: *frolics freely in the streets*
Gordon: "I never said thank you."
Batman: "And you'll never have to."
Professional Scores:
Character:
Bruce Wayne
Ann:9
Sally: 8
Batman
Ann: 9
Sally: 9
Personal:
Ann: 8
Sally: 8
Special Mention:
Cillian Murphy - Best Supporting Professional Psychotic
Morgan Freeman - Gold star for being God.
Bonus
