Retraction.
The day before yesterday, I encountered a towtruck on my way home. I'd felt really good coming out of class. I'd had a close encounter of the stripey kind, and had been really grounded because the last thing we had explored were some of the principles common to aikido, and the experience of meeting the neurological assault with some of the vestiges of my old training was new and different.
I would need to be a blackbelt to deal with a stripey truck with circling flashing lights, though. Ducked into a shop for a while, but it outwaited me, and as it was at the top of my street there was nothing for it but to press on, flashbacking to "Wolf Creek" torture scenes rather than my time in the dojo. Oh well. There is something to be learned from feeling like a "head on a stick".
Last couple of days have been quite flaily and exhausting. Still meditated. Gave up on poleclimbing last night since I didn't have the leet skillz to get my own shoes off without help when I got home. Had a go tonight though. Learnt something about how I lock my feet together earlier today accidentally and was keen to see if that filled in any blanks about how I can climb one way but not the other. Not as much practical help as I hoped but the Playfort Storming Project is coming along slowly.
I'm browsing ten minute lovingkindness audios from around the web. I didn't like yesterday's much. This one wasn't bad.
I particularly like frangipani flowers, and was quite happy to stare at a picture of one for the first run through. Tonight what worked best was making my mentoring person, unknown acquaintance and difficult person all various aspects of myself, visualised at different times of my life. There's really no right or wrong way to make associations. Its all just exploring what it can mean to be open hearted. Apparently if you do this particular meditation a thousand hours, you get more interesting gamma waves.
Presumably, you Anti-Hulk.
(No really, you do have gamma waves in your brain. But citation 22 in the wiki for "Metta" doesn't go to the article by R Davidson any more, just the Stanford Uni's Centre for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education site. And there is no Dr. Banner listed, and I cannot find the article. Sad face. Dr Davidson is rather interesting though. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Davidson)
Oh, I calmed the Inner Beast accidently, today. One of my epilepsy's favorite thing to do is fling my right arm across my body, occasionally collecting me a good slap on the left side but usually missing or at least being ineffectual. I was an interesting demonstration of proximal-distal reversal today as I was leaning all my weight on my elbows. My arm couldn't go left, so my entire trunk was pitched right. I dragged myself away from the fascinating proposition of being faceplanted and paid attention to scapular retraction, which was were the rest of the class was up to. This is actually the direct opposite of my myoclonus movement... and it suddenly settled like a squalling baby finding familiar comfort. It didn't last of course, but its never 'switched off" like that before. Worth noting.
Also I was complimented on my retraction by a classmate. J thought that if we were flying south for the winter, I'd get the furthest. And this was when I was initiating rhomboids in the narrowest sense, so I was amused. Although I was probably more of a diving bird or penguin tobogganing through butter once I'd worked out I was retracting neck muscles traumatised by the towtruck, unnecessarily.
I would need to be a blackbelt to deal with a stripey truck with circling flashing lights, though. Ducked into a shop for a while, but it outwaited me, and as it was at the top of my street there was nothing for it but to press on, flashbacking to "Wolf Creek" torture scenes rather than my time in the dojo. Oh well. There is something to be learned from feeling like a "head on a stick".
Last couple of days have been quite flaily and exhausting. Still meditated. Gave up on poleclimbing last night since I didn't have the leet skillz to get my own shoes off without help when I got home. Had a go tonight though. Learnt something about how I lock my feet together earlier today accidentally and was keen to see if that filled in any blanks about how I can climb one way but not the other. Not as much practical help as I hoped but the Playfort Storming Project is coming along slowly.
I'm browsing ten minute lovingkindness audios from around the web. I didn't like yesterday's much. This one wasn't bad.
Click to viewI particularly like frangipani flowers, and was quite happy to stare at a picture of one for the first run through. Tonight what worked best was making my mentoring person, unknown acquaintance and difficult person all various aspects of myself, visualised at different times of my life. There's really no right or wrong way to make associations. Its all just exploring what it can mean to be open hearted. Apparently if you do this particular meditation a thousand hours, you get more interesting gamma waves.
Presumably, you Anti-Hulk.
(No really, you do have gamma waves in your brain. But citation 22 in the wiki for "Metta" doesn't go to the article by R Davidson any more, just the Stanford Uni's Centre for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education site. And there is no Dr. Banner listed, and I cannot find the article. Sad face. Dr Davidson is rather interesting though. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Davidson)
Oh, I calmed the Inner Beast accidently, today. One of my epilepsy's favorite thing to do is fling my right arm across my body, occasionally collecting me a good slap on the left side but usually missing or at least being ineffectual. I was an interesting demonstration of proximal-distal reversal today as I was leaning all my weight on my elbows. My arm couldn't go left, so my entire trunk was pitched right. I dragged myself away from the fascinating proposition of being faceplanted and paid attention to scapular retraction, which was were the rest of the class was up to. This is actually the direct opposite of my myoclonus movement... and it suddenly settled like a squalling baby finding familiar comfort. It didn't last of course, but its never 'switched off" like that before. Worth noting.
Also I was complimented on my retraction by a classmate. J thought that if we were flying south for the winter, I'd get the furthest. And this was when I was initiating rhomboids in the narrowest sense, so I was amused. Although I was probably more of a diving bird or penguin tobogganing through butter once I'd worked out I was retracting neck muscles traumatised by the towtruck, unnecessarily.