You're not the boss of me
I had a horrible dream this morning, which I'm pretty sure was mostly residual from yesterday. I was in a nice restaurant with some friends and family, and for some reason, I kept acting inappropriately -- I couldn't hold my manners, I was using the wrong fork, I didn't know how to eat anything, and then when I was trying to order, I kept mispronouncing everything, which, for some reason, made me completely mortified and feel like a failure at the same time. I started sobbing hysterically, and everyone kept criticizing me; telling me to stop being such a baby, that it wasn't a big deal, that I was being ridiculous, etc, which only made me cry more and the whole dream I was just sobbing and I felt miserable and depressed and like no one understood me, and mostly embarrassed because I couldn't stop crying.
Granted, I didn't cry at all yesterday. I didn't even do anything that warranted feeling embarrassed.
The mispronunciation thing is funny, because yesterday, Ms. Rebelmeyer and I went to Spacca Napoli for dinner (I was so excited to find someone to go with me), and first, I realized I was going to have trouble saying, "Limonata" for some reason (it's the San Pellegrino sparkling lemon drink), and then, when I went to order the pizza I wanted, I said "Ah-roog-you-la," rather than "Ah-ru-gah-la." That's arugula, for those who don't know what I'm talking about. I wasn't even that embarrassed about it, but I hate saying things wrong -- I do it all the time -- as those who know me in real life can attest.
(Shut up, you. You know who you are.)
I think the whole embarrassment / judgment thing came in when I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday about my LiveJournal antics, and how on one hand, it's kind of embarrassing [to them] to see how obsessed I've become with The Office and things like that, but on the other hand, it's also become very revealing about who I am. I've never really been one to censor myself that much on my LiveJournal. I pretty much say that I want to say, I talk about what I'm feeling -- what you see (or read) is what you get for the most part when it comes to me. The only time I'll really filter anything is if I feel it would be offensive or hurt someone or freak someone out, and honestly, I very, very rarely do that. I am who I am, and I'm mostly unapologetic about it, dorky and all.
But maybe I am a little anxious about it, as the dream might reveal. Maybe I do worry about what people think about me more than I'd like to admit.
I don't know. I know that Wes has told me I'm crazy sometimes and he doesn't understand it 100%. But he's always been about as supportive as I could expect him to be, letting me blabber on forever about stupid stuff I'm thinking about and doing. On the other hand, I'd expect as much, since I'm very supportive of his martial arts training, I've watched him practice, I do yoga with him occasionally, and I try to watch at least one kung fu movie with him a week ... In other words, I'm happy to have him because in a lot of ways he's just as nutty as I am except in different ways.
I really don't know where I was going with this other than I felt like I needed to write about that dream and say a few words.
I had a really nice time last night -- like I said, I went to Spacca Napoli, and we had these amazing little pizzas. The crust they used really wasn't that different from the one I had at Frasca, I didn't think, but they didn't have as large of a crust area, so it was less dry when you got to the end -- the perfect amount of crust to enjoy. I had a pizza bianca con mozzarella di bufala and arugula. Ms. R had the Quattro Formaggi pizza. I didn't try her pizza, but she said it was very good. I think I ate my whole 14 inch pizza, which is the work of a glutton. It was good eatin'. The other nice thing about this place is that it was located a really quiet area on the corner of east Ravenswood and Sunnyside. I'd go back again. Skillet Doux had a really great post on this place with mouth-watering pictures. I'd still like to try one of their cappuccinos. I was too full to have one this time.
After that, we went back to her apartment, met up with her roommate, and walked over to the Blue Bayou, a place my friends have been to a couple times, but I have not. They have karaoke on Thursday nights, and it was Kristentatious's birthday, so we went to celebrate and sing some karaoke tunes! I had a nice time there ... it was really busy, so we only really got to sing one song. I sang that song from Flashdance, "Gloria." I love that song. Kristi did a hellaciously good job with "I Touch Myself." The crowd was roaring! The song of the night was probably a tie between Scott & Erica's duet of "The Time Of My Life" from Dirty Dancing or kleptoskamra's rendition of "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by The Darkness. Actually, a really big guy with a goatee hugged him afterwards, which was hilarious.
I didn't realize until after we'd already left that Kristi still had another song up soon after which we missed (sorry...), but I'm sure it went great. I left around 12:15 AM -- knowing that I had to be at work today. I ended up waking up late anyway, but then I was saved because we had some DirecTV guys coming over today to fix our satellite, which I almost forgot about until they rung the doorbell, right as I was about to leave ... oops. So, yeah, I got into work late today, but I have about eighty things to do which I am definitely not doing by writing this. I guess that means I should get back to work.
Tomorrow we have our Progressive Bar Crawl, wow. Five bars in five hours. I am going to try and not drink that much, as there is the slight possibility I could be pregnant, and I should be responsible in this time where we're trying to have children. I still will have a few, though... Jillian and I decided on a bar drink ... it's really simple, but I can guarantee the bartender will have the ingredients and everyone should think it's okay. I hope... I don't think I'll convince Wes to come, because staying out late and hanging out at crowded bars are not really his thing. But you never know. Maybe if I hang out and watch a few kung fu movies with him tonight, I'll soften him up for tomorrow. Probably not, though, heh.
Granted, I didn't cry at all yesterday. I didn't even do anything that warranted feeling embarrassed.
The mispronunciation thing is funny, because yesterday, Ms. Rebelmeyer and I went to Spacca Napoli for dinner (I was so excited to find someone to go with me), and first, I realized I was going to have trouble saying, "Limonata" for some reason (it's the San Pellegrino sparkling lemon drink), and then, when I went to order the pizza I wanted, I said "Ah-roog-you-la," rather than "Ah-ru-gah-la." That's arugula, for those who don't know what I'm talking about. I wasn't even that embarrassed about it, but I hate saying things wrong -- I do it all the time -- as those who know me in real life can attest.
(Shut up, you. You know who you are.)
I think the whole embarrassment / judgment thing came in when I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday about my LiveJournal antics, and how on one hand, it's kind of embarrassing [to them] to see how obsessed I've become with The Office and things like that, but on the other hand, it's also become very revealing about who I am. I've never really been one to censor myself that much on my LiveJournal. I pretty much say that I want to say, I talk about what I'm feeling -- what you see (or read) is what you get for the most part when it comes to me. The only time I'll really filter anything is if I feel it would be offensive or hurt someone or freak someone out, and honestly, I very, very rarely do that. I am who I am, and I'm mostly unapologetic about it, dorky and all.
But maybe I am a little anxious about it, as the dream might reveal. Maybe I do worry about what people think about me more than I'd like to admit.
I don't know. I know that Wes has told me I'm crazy sometimes and he doesn't understand it 100%. But he's always been about as supportive as I could expect him to be, letting me blabber on forever about stupid stuff I'm thinking about and doing. On the other hand, I'd expect as much, since I'm very supportive of his martial arts training, I've watched him practice, I do yoga with him occasionally, and I try to watch at least one kung fu movie with him a week ... In other words, I'm happy to have him because in a lot of ways he's just as nutty as I am except in different ways.
I really don't know where I was going with this other than I felt like I needed to write about that dream and say a few words.
I had a really nice time last night -- like I said, I went to Spacca Napoli, and we had these amazing little pizzas. The crust they used really wasn't that different from the one I had at Frasca, I didn't think, but they didn't have as large of a crust area, so it was less dry when you got to the end -- the perfect amount of crust to enjoy. I had a pizza bianca con mozzarella di bufala and arugula. Ms. R had the Quattro Formaggi pizza. I didn't try her pizza, but she said it was very good. I think I ate my whole 14 inch pizza, which is the work of a glutton. It was good eatin'. The other nice thing about this place is that it was located a really quiet area on the corner of east Ravenswood and Sunnyside. I'd go back again. Skillet Doux had a really great post on this place with mouth-watering pictures. I'd still like to try one of their cappuccinos. I was too full to have one this time.
After that, we went back to her apartment, met up with her roommate, and walked over to the Blue Bayou, a place my friends have been to a couple times, but I have not. They have karaoke on Thursday nights, and it was Kristentatious's birthday, so we went to celebrate and sing some karaoke tunes! I had a nice time there ... it was really busy, so we only really got to sing one song. I sang that song from Flashdance, "Gloria." I love that song. Kristi did a hellaciously good job with "I Touch Myself." The crowd was roaring! The song of the night was probably a tie between Scott & Erica's duet of "The Time Of My Life" from Dirty Dancing or kleptoskamra's rendition of "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by The Darkness. Actually, a really big guy with a goatee hugged him afterwards, which was hilarious.
I didn't realize until after we'd already left that Kristi still had another song up soon after which we missed (sorry...), but I'm sure it went great. I left around 12:15 AM -- knowing that I had to be at work today. I ended up waking up late anyway, but then I was saved because we had some DirecTV guys coming over today to fix our satellite, which I almost forgot about until they rung the doorbell, right as I was about to leave ... oops. So, yeah, I got into work late today, but I have about eighty things to do which I am definitely not doing by writing this. I guess that means I should get back to work.
Tomorrow we have our Progressive Bar Crawl, wow. Five bars in five hours. I am going to try and not drink that much, as there is the slight possibility I could be pregnant, and I should be responsible in this time where we're trying to have children. I still will have a few, though... Jillian and I decided on a bar drink ... it's really simple, but I can guarantee the bartender will have the ingredients and everyone should think it's okay. I hope... I don't think I'll convince Wes to come, because staying out late and hanging out at crowded bars are not really his thing. But you never know. Maybe if I hang out and watch a few kung fu movies with him tonight, I'll soften him up for tomorrow. Probably not, though, heh.