PAST ENTRIES DECODED
so i just re read the like six (literally i think) lj entries i have ever written and its so weird how time changes people. When i first started lj, i had no connection with the boy that i was later basically obsessed with. my first entry discusses the use of illegal substances, yet at that point i had never used said products. a lot of the essays contain few words which i will now attempt to define.
'fucking car stolen'
my fathers car was stolen so for the first month after i got my licence i had to um not drive
the next one is long but not specific.
i felt i was being pulled in different directions and didnt know what to do
'i hate people'
probably having to do with my insecurities and all that fun stuff
'corry matthews'
sara believed this to be my need for her, however, it was more of a need for a cory matthews boy type companioin
'get over it'
was a self message. my attempt to disconect my obsession for the certain someone discussed in the second post. second post i believe was made about a month after we had first um hooked up and he was slightly out of the country
i have no idea what 'o mygoodness muah' is
'why'
another attempt to recieve closure with the boy, as in why do i like him
'i need some meaning i can memorize'
oops, i hooked up with him again, we were listening to that song during hook up sesh, ummmm it seemed apropriate seeing as it deff had meaning, but it was unclear what that meaning was
'hate him'
wanna guess...ya basically i was still obsessed but the love quickly turned to hate after i sort of pushed him away and he um allowed himself to be pushed
'trust'
no clue
and then i crashed the car
and then i wrote to chelsea
i dont think i like the boy anymore. im not sure tho. i think i just liked what he represented.
I LOVE CHELSEA!!!!!!AND SARA CUZ APPARENTLY SHE READS THIS TOO
ummmm no names will be disclosed beside chelsea and sara
if either of you would like to know, call me
kthxluvyoubye
'fucking car stolen'
my fathers car was stolen so for the first month after i got my licence i had to um not drive
the next one is long but not specific.
i felt i was being pulled in different directions and didnt know what to do
'i hate people'
probably having to do with my insecurities and all that fun stuff
'corry matthews'
sara believed this to be my need for her, however, it was more of a need for a cory matthews boy type companioin
'get over it'
was a self message. my attempt to disconect my obsession for the certain someone discussed in the second post. second post i believe was made about a month after we had first um hooked up and he was slightly out of the country
i have no idea what 'o mygoodness muah' is
'why'
another attempt to recieve closure with the boy, as in why do i like him
'i need some meaning i can memorize'
oops, i hooked up with him again, we were listening to that song during hook up sesh, ummmm it seemed apropriate seeing as it deff had meaning, but it was unclear what that meaning was
'hate him'
wanna guess...ya basically i was still obsessed but the love quickly turned to hate after i sort of pushed him away and he um allowed himself to be pushed
'trust'
no clue
and then i crashed the car
and then i wrote to chelsea
i dont think i like the boy anymore. im not sure tho. i think i just liked what he represented.
I LOVE CHELSEA!!!!!!AND SARA CUZ APPARENTLY SHE READS THIS TOO
ummmm no names will be disclosed beside chelsea and sara
if either of you would like to know, call me
kthxluvyoubye