Hatter's Adventures in Christmasland Ch.2
Title: Oh Martha!
Author: greeneyes0911
Pairing: Alice/Hatter
Characters: Hatter, Charlie
Rating: pg
Length: 4,100+
Warnings/Spoilers: Part 2 of the miniseries
A/N: I do realize that this kind of cuts off, but it was getting extremely lengthy and I figured doing each bit separately would be good. So bear with me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Alice, Hatter, March Hare, any of 'em....but damn would I be rich if I did!
Summary: It's the holidays, and Hatter wants to surprise Alice...
Oh Martha! Hatter loved his Alice without any doubt. But by Alfred sometimes she was so frustrating. She kept insisting that they not go all out for this Christmas. She was very adamant about not doing presents, and not spending too much money, and not going overboard on decorations. It almost felt like she was frightened to really let herself go with him. Of course she was, she had every right to be frightened. It was a crazy mixed up world she lived in, and she'd had all sorts of badness happen to her. But he'd be eaten by a Jabberwock before he allowed anymore of that badness to come her way. She meant too much to him, and he really did believe she deserved happiness for the rest of her life. No, no more badness, none at all. And this was going to be the best damned Christmas she'd ever had so help him Alfred. Now he just needed a little help, just a little assistance. Who could he get to help? The first thought of help was Charlie, Charlie would be positively marvelous. Hatter sighed drumming his fingers on his desk trying to think. How to get Charlie? He knew the old man would be gob-smacked to even see Hatter again. And he'd probably be more than thrilled to come and see Alice. Yes, he'd just go and find him right after work. It'd take him all of an hour to get the old man from Wonderland, and back (which was much less than an hour in this world's time). That being decided he needed someone to help him figure out more about this Christmas business. He pondered this for a long while, his brow knitting and unknitting in concentration. He could ask Carol, but that may look suspicious, and he didn't want Alice catching on. He looked around lost in thought until he came up with an idea, he'd been watching television this morning while he drank his tea before heading out, and had seen this haughty looking blond woman talking about the up and coming holiday and all the things she had prepared for it. What was her bloody name?
“Oi, Cathy,” he called to one of the girls who was passing him. Surely she'd know who this awful looking woman was. It mattered little that the woman looked like a cold hearted fish, so long as she knew how to create this Christmas type thing.
“David,” the woman said tiredly rolling her eyes. Cathy had a tendency to walk by David's desk right when he had a question, and she was getting a little sick of all these moronic questions. After all who didn't know things like where to get toilet paper, and what tampons were? She prayed to God it wasn't another toiletry related question. She couldn't stand it if it were. The tampons conversation had nearly killed her in embarrassment. She'd walked away so red she thought she had developed a fever, and should see a physician.
“There was this horrid lookin' woman on my television this mornin'. She 'ad blonde hair, and she was makin' some wretched pillow lookin' thin' with a dog on i'. What is 'er name?” He must know who this wretched woman was who knew about Christmas. She didn't seem like the type capable of having a heartfelt warm Christmas, but she did seem to know what she was talking about.
Cathy snorted lightly, she would have laughed outright if David didn't look so utterly serious about this question. “Are you talking about Martha Stewart?”
“That's 'er name,” Hatter looked very excited, and waved his hand to dismiss Cathy. Martha Stewart, damn the name even made her sound frigid. No, he wouldn't let that sway him, he needed to learn from this Martha. She would teach him about Christmas.
“David,” Cathy had returned to his desk with a little book in her hands, and Hatter looked up from his thoughts.
“Yes?”
“This is Martha's magazine. It's the holiday issue, but I don't know what you needed it for. Do return it when you're through,” she flopped the magazine on his desk and walked away. Sometimes Cathy felt pity for the clearly insane man. Especially when he saw the man with his girlfriend, Alice, it was quite clear that he wasn't from around here but he was putting forth all sorts of effort to blend in. It seemed to her that mostly why he tried so hard was that Alice, he was clearly in love with her and would do anything for her. While Cathy found herself a little jealous at the thought, she was also happy to see them happy. It meant sometimes fairytales really did come true, those two were her proof. And she was assured by their happiness in a ways nothing else had ever assured her.
“Brillian'! Thanks Cathy. I'll be sure ta....well I dunno wha' I'll do bu' I'll be sure ta do sumthin',” He grinned lopsidedly at her, and knew he'd have to think of some repayment for Cathy's help. Maybe some cookies, or a cake, or an Unbirthday party. He didn't know, but one thing was for sure, he was in her debt.
“Don't mention it David. Just you know if you have a brother, or cousin or something bring him by the shop,” She chuckled, and grinned at him. Alright so Cathy did have an ulterior motive. She walked away without noticing the rather confused look on Hatter's face. He had no idea what she meant by a brother or cousin or something. Why would she want to meet his family? That was just weird. Not that he had any family, he'd been an only child and his parents had died very long ago. He was perplexed by the request, so perplexed that he'd almost forgotten she had given him the Martha Stewart floppy-book-thing, what had she called it? Ah yes, magazine, that had been the word he'd been hunting for. He really needed to buy a little book to write these things down in so he wouldn't forget them. Ah well, that would have to wait for another time. Right now what was more important was this Martha broad, and what she knew about Christmas. Hatter quickly looked over the cover trying to decide where to start. His eyes fell to the only sub-header on the page “138 of the best decorations, recipes, and gifts.” Now that was the ticket! This Martha woman really knew what he needed. He'd have to be sure to send her a thank-you note for all her helpfulness. He started flipping through trying to absorb as much as he possibly could, this Martha woman had some very complicated directions. He decided he'd have to go and buy his own copy just to be sure he got everything right, but now he had a very firm picture in his mind of what he needed to do. Alice was working late tonight, so he hoped to surprise her when she came home with the house all done up like something from this book. It seemed this Martha woman was also very adamant about making things herself, which is brilliant because he didn't have a lot of money to spend on things anyways. When he got off work he returned Cathy's magazine, thanked her again, and ran out of the shop like his coattails were ablaze. He had to get started, there was much to do and very little time in which to do it. First, to get this blasted magazine, then supplies, then Charlie.
So first thing was first. He strode right into one of the neighborhing book stores, and kindly asked the shopgirl where their magazines were. She pointed him in the right direction, and he made his way there with a very determing look on his face, leaving the shopgirl to watch him bewildered and confused. What could have this man so worked up that he must see the magazines immediately? Then she was even more bewildered when the man returned with the Martha Stewart magazine, and several other home magazines. What the hell? She quirked a brow at him confused.
Hatter looked at her face, and back up at the magazines, and then back up at her face. “My girlfriend, and I's firs' Christmas, gotta make it a good one,” he explained with a shrug as though it really didn't bother him that she was looking at him like he was complete an utter loon. It really didn't bother him, he was used to people in this world looking at him like he was mad. Hell, he was used to people in his own world looking at him like he was mad. It made little difference to him either way. The girl nodded, still looking perplexed, but gave him no more questioning looks about it. Once he was rung up, and out of her store the girl shook her head. Hatter didn't notice he was already on his way to another store to buy all the things he thought he'd need, or all the things Martha told him he'd need. He'd need things for cookies, and lights, and all this stuff that he wasn't even really sure what it was. He was certain, however, that someone in the stores could and would be happy to help him.
Alright so Tony, as his name tag said his name was, wasn't as happy to help Hatter as Hatter would have liked. In fact it seemed like Tony was a right curmudgeon about this whole Christmas thing. A right Scrooge, Hatter had learned that word from Alice's Christmas Carol book. He assumed since Scrooge was a man who lacked the Christmas spirit entirely and was cruel to everyone, Tony would fit the name quite well enough. Not that I mattered to Hatter, he had enough spirit to go around. However, the boy's lack of spirit and sour attitude had shopping take longer than Hatter had expected meaning he'd have no time to really talk to Charlie, he'd just have to grab the old coot and run. Ah well, such was the life of a spirited mad Hatter. Especially Alice's spirited mad Hatter. Oh wouldn't Alice be pleased with him? She'd probably be so pleased she wouldn't have words for it. He returned everything to the apartment before heading to the looking glass. Hatter took a deep breath looking into the smooth relfective surface of the mirror. He never liked going back, even when he had to. He was always frightened something would go terribly awry, and his Alice would end up in peril again. He wouldn't have that. Sighing heavily he took a deep breath and jumped through the looking glass. The sensation of falling was not something he enjoyed in the least, but he'd deal with it. He was sure Alice enjoyed it even less given her fear of heights, and so he found himself not even bothering to think about complaining to her about it. He landed feet first on a soft patch of grass. Why did you go in one way and come out another? It never made sense to him, but then this was Wonderland and nothing had to make sense here. So even if you went through the looking glass from this side in that lovely station, you came through it from the other side into the sewer. He hated the sewer part. Ah well, this was for Alice! Alice, he must get moving, must grab Charlie and be back on his way! He started in a run down the sewer halls, and quickly made his way outside where wonderland was a bustle with life. It had never been that way while the Queen was ruling, but now it seemed to be back to how it was long before he was born. It was nice to see Wonderland back to it's former glory. Hatter quickly found his way to the new headquarters of the royal family. He figured if anyone knew where Charlie was, Jack would. Even if he disliked Jack immensely.
When he reached the new court he found the place just as alive as the streets of Wonderland. Really how was a man supposed to speak to the king in this mess? Damn this nonsense! He had to get back, he had so much to do. He had to bake cookies, hang lights, hang garland, make candy, and do all sorts of other nonsensical Christmas things. So he marched right up to one of the clubs he'd recognized as being one of the Queen's closest men. Surely this man could help Hatter get to Jack. “Ah, Hatter. What's the meaning of this visit,” number ten, or at least Hatter was sure he was number ten, quirked a brow at him.
“I need ta talk ta Jack. Righ' away. No time ta lose, I'm runnin' late as is,” Hatter said quickly. His eyes darted around nervously, and to tell the truth he looked more the mad hatter than he ever had. Number ten just gaped at the shorter man, confused and slightly annoyed by his presence. Hatter turned back to see Number ten still standing there and grumbled. “Well wha' are ya waitin' on, hop ta.”
“The king is in a meeting, but you can see his right hand advisor, I'll go and fetch him. Why don't you wait right over there,” Number ten point to a set of tables in an arrangement that reminded Hatter oddly of that thing Alice called a Café in her world. Strange. Hatter nodded and went to find a seat, but while he sat he fidgeted. His hat came from his head and his pushed on the brim between his fingers. He just wanted to be home, and by home he meant in his and Alice's little apartment. That was his home now, where his Alice was. And Wonderland made him nervous now. It probably had something to do with all the trouble Alice had gotten herself into while she was here. Hatter had lived here all his life and never gotten into a tickle of trouble. Yet, Alice had been here all of a week and found herself dimple deep in some kind of mess that it took his expert skills to get her out of.
“Hatter, m'boy,” A very familiar voice exclaimed drawing Hatter from his nervous thoughts.
“Charlie! Jus' tha man I was lookin' for,” Hatter said shooting up with a huge grin on his face. “We need ta be off now Charlie, no time ta waste,” Hatter said hurriedly dragging Charlie behind him as he made his way for the door.
“Nonsense m'boy, what is the meaning of this. You cannot just come in here and drag off the King's right hand man. This is positively uncooth, undignified, unright, unfit....wrong even. Now what do you need?” Hatter couldn't believe how very serious Charlie seemed to be taking his new position. It was really kind of annoying, although he should have expected it. This was Charlie we were talking about. “Well don't just stand around gaping like a nincumpoop, tell me what you need. I have business to attend to and your holding me up. If you don't spit it out right off I'll have to be off and ignore you completely.”
Hatter was getting a small headache from Charlie's rambling, it was driving him nuts. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea to start with. “It's a gif' for Alice,” Hatter said simply, he figured that would be enough.
“Well if that's what this is about why didn't you say so from the start? You know I'd do anything for Alice. She'd practically a daughter to me. Precious little toad that she is. I'd do down right anything for her. You should have just said that from the very beginning. Those should have been-”
“Charlie, shu' it,” Hatter cut him off with a grumble. “Get your things, tell Jack, and let's be on our way. I don' 'ave all sorts of time. She's a' work now, and will be back quicker than a fish's whisker. Off ya ge'.” He pushed Charlie in the direction he'd come, ordering him to do as told immediately. It took a full hour for Charlie to get himself ready. Hatter imagined it had something to do with the long winded speech he gave Jack about where he was going and why. Luckily, for Hatter at least, Charlie returned alone all packed and ready to go. Good then he'd not have to see Jack before he left. Hatter thought maybe that was what was best for all of them. After all Hatter had gotten the one thing Jack wanted most, and Jack was left with nothing. Not like Hatter pitied the man, because he didn't. Jack had done it to himself, and he deserved it for using Alice the way he did, and getting Alice into all the trouble he'd gotten her into. Hatter's Alice hadn't deserved that, and Jack should pay for what he'd done.
“I'm all set. Got enough clothes for years. Does Alice know I'm coming,” Charlie asks, but Hatter's been blocking him out as they make a caterpillar line for the mirror room. “Hatter,” Charlie said a little louder touching the younger man's shoulder, “does she know I'm coming?”
Hatter looks up from his thoughts, and grins roguishly. “No she doesn'. She'll be down righ' surprised,” the grin spreads wider, wide enough to rebel the Cheshire's, and turns into a genuine smile. Just talking about how happy this would make his Alice had Hatter more excited than ever. “Now you'll 'ave ta 'elp me with some things. I 'ave a lo' of surprises I wan' ta set up for 'er. Which is why I've recruited yar 'elp. Ya think ya're up for it brave knight?”
Charlie stiffens, and tilts his chin with pride. “We will make this the best surprise Alice has ever experienced. Better than anything else indeed. She'll bee surprised, flabbergasted, gob-smacked, thrilled even.” Hatter just nodded as Charlie continued to yammer. They made it to the mirror room, and both jumped through. Hatter landed on his feet solidly, and helped Charlie as the older man struggled to catch his balance. Wouldn't want grandpa breaking a hip would we? Then who would Hatter tie an apron around to bake cookies? Well he sure as hell wasn't going to wear an apron himself. Alright, so he had thought about it, he didn't want to get his clothes all dirty. Plus Alice looked rather cute in her apron, so who's to say he wouldn't? “So why the surprise m'boy?”
“Oh well it's Christmas 'ere Charlie, and it's kind of a big deal.” Hatter shrugged as he started walking, Charlie followed close behind. Hatter didn't even notice when people were staring at the two of them. Charlie was still in his armor and it was drawing an awful lot of attention. Of course, Hatter was distracted with this Christmas business, his mind was running over all the things he had to do. “Ya ge' a tree, and ornaments, and decorate the 'ouse with lights and stuff. Ya bake cookies, and building 'ouses out of somethin' called gingerbread, and 'ave this big dinner. And there is this stuff called mistletoe tha' makes people kiss, and ya give presents...presents!” Hatter smacked himself in the forehead for his ignorance. How could he have forgotten presents?! Idiot! Moron!
“Well that sounds like a good ol' time. We used have something like it back in the day when the kingdom of the knights was still around. It wasn't called Christmas though. It was called something like Howard's day, I don't know who Howard was but we always ended up having a great time on his day. We'd give presents, and drink, and have a big dinner. Yes, right good time.” He didn't realize Hatter was becoming more and more agitated beside him. Until Hatter let out a loud groan. “What's wrong now? Lord, I'm starting to think this Christmas has driven you mad, Hatter. You'll lose every nut and bolt and marble you have if you go mad. I had a friend who went mad once. Could never find a-”
“Charlie,” Hatter exclaimed cutting the old man off once more. “I've plum forgotten ta ge' Alice a presen'.”
“Really? Hatter, what's wrong with you? That's the most important part to a lady. My, who taught you to keep a lady? You must shower her with attention. Bow to her every whim. Be there night and day. That is how you keep a lady m'boy. You do not 'plum forget' to get them a present for whatever holiday is coming. For that matter who plum forgets anything? Plum forgetting is not even a kind of forgetting. Silly boy.”
“Charlie, I 'ave some time. I'll get one in the next few days. I jus' 'ave ta think of wha' ta ge'. We can think of somethin' while we decorate,” he said finally as he turned the key in the door to their apartment building and led Charlie up to their home. Charlie stopped dead in his tracks when he entered the apartment, completely perplexed by how different it was from his home in Wonderland. However, something in him told him instinctually that this place fit Alice and Hatter perfectly. This was their home sweet home, as it were. There own special little patch of grass to lay their heads and be themselves. And be themselves they were! It was quite clear by the hat rack by the door that had about four top hats littered on it, or the overflowing bookshelf siddled up along a wall. Even the colors of the room just said Alice meets Hatter. There were touches of Alice here, and touches of Hatter there. Tea cups filled with wax strewn everywhere. And a painting of a scene from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland hung neatly on the blank wall across from the door, so it was the first thing a person saw. Yes, there was no doubt this was Alice and Hatter's home.
“Well,” Hatter said putting his arms out as if putting the very apartment on display. “What do ya think? It's no' real big or nuthin'. But-”
“It's home,” they both said at the same time, and Hatter grinned a little wider at Charlie. It pleased him immensely that Charlie saw it too.
“Marvelous m'dear boy! I do think most of this is Alice's taste though, I how poor your taste is. She's quite the decorator that one is. You're lucky to have such a lady,” Charlie rambled on nonsensically. Hatter almost found himself offended that Alice was given all the credit for the decorating, but then he remembered it was Charlie who was speaking, and he should expect that from the old loon. “So what shall we start on? I'm eager to get this venture underway. Plus you did make it sound as if Alice would be home any minute. And we'd hate for her to see us in the midst of this surprise wouldn't we?”
“Well let's pu' yar things in the office. Alice 'as this thin' called a futon in there, it supposedly works jus' like a bed. So ya should be able ta sleep there tonigh'. Then I think we should star' on cookies, then decoratin'.” All of this was said as he lead Charlie down a very short hall way. So short in fact there were only three rooms off it. One to the right, one to the left, and one straight ahead. Hatter directed Charlie into the one to the left.
“Futon?” The old man examined the piece of furniture with a weary eye. “That sounds like some kind of food. Don't you have a hammock? I'd much prefer a hammock. I don't know about this futon thing. Just the name of it makes me want to eat it. Yes, a hammock would be much better indeed.”
“No, Charlie no 'ammock. Ya 'ave ta deal with the futon. Now we 'aven't the time ta waste let's get started.” Hatter just hoped and prayed Charlie was as good at baking cookies as he was at cooking booragrove. Because he didn't know a tickle about that confounded thing Alice called an oven.
Author: greeneyes0911
Pairing: Alice/Hatter
Characters: Hatter, Charlie
Rating: pg
Length: 4,100+
Warnings/Spoilers: Part 2 of the miniseries
A/N: I do realize that this kind of cuts off, but it was getting extremely lengthy and I figured doing each bit separately would be good. So bear with me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Alice, Hatter, March Hare, any of 'em....but damn would I be rich if I did!
Summary: It's the holidays, and Hatter wants to surprise Alice...
Oh Martha! Hatter loved his Alice without any doubt. But by Alfred sometimes she was so frustrating. She kept insisting that they not go all out for this Christmas. She was very adamant about not doing presents, and not spending too much money, and not going overboard on decorations. It almost felt like she was frightened to really let herself go with him. Of course she was, she had every right to be frightened. It was a crazy mixed up world she lived in, and she'd had all sorts of badness happen to her. But he'd be eaten by a Jabberwock before he allowed anymore of that badness to come her way. She meant too much to him, and he really did believe she deserved happiness for the rest of her life. No, no more badness, none at all. And this was going to be the best damned Christmas she'd ever had so help him Alfred. Now he just needed a little help, just a little assistance. Who could he get to help? The first thought of help was Charlie, Charlie would be positively marvelous. Hatter sighed drumming his fingers on his desk trying to think. How to get Charlie? He knew the old man would be gob-smacked to even see Hatter again. And he'd probably be more than thrilled to come and see Alice. Yes, he'd just go and find him right after work. It'd take him all of an hour to get the old man from Wonderland, and back (which was much less than an hour in this world's time). That being decided he needed someone to help him figure out more about this Christmas business. He pondered this for a long while, his brow knitting and unknitting in concentration. He could ask Carol, but that may look suspicious, and he didn't want Alice catching on. He looked around lost in thought until he came up with an idea, he'd been watching television this morning while he drank his tea before heading out, and had seen this haughty looking blond woman talking about the up and coming holiday and all the things she had prepared for it. What was her bloody name?
“Oi, Cathy,” he called to one of the girls who was passing him. Surely she'd know who this awful looking woman was. It mattered little that the woman looked like a cold hearted fish, so long as she knew how to create this Christmas type thing.
“David,” the woman said tiredly rolling her eyes. Cathy had a tendency to walk by David's desk right when he had a question, and she was getting a little sick of all these moronic questions. After all who didn't know things like where to get toilet paper, and what tampons were? She prayed to God it wasn't another toiletry related question. She couldn't stand it if it were. The tampons conversation had nearly killed her in embarrassment. She'd walked away so red she thought she had developed a fever, and should see a physician.
“There was this horrid lookin' woman on my television this mornin'. She 'ad blonde hair, and she was makin' some wretched pillow lookin' thin' with a dog on i'. What is 'er name?” He must know who this wretched woman was who knew about Christmas. She didn't seem like the type capable of having a heartfelt warm Christmas, but she did seem to know what she was talking about.
Cathy snorted lightly, she would have laughed outright if David didn't look so utterly serious about this question. “Are you talking about Martha Stewart?”
“That's 'er name,” Hatter looked very excited, and waved his hand to dismiss Cathy. Martha Stewart, damn the name even made her sound frigid. No, he wouldn't let that sway him, he needed to learn from this Martha. She would teach him about Christmas.
“David,” Cathy had returned to his desk with a little book in her hands, and Hatter looked up from his thoughts.
“Yes?”
“This is Martha's magazine. It's the holiday issue, but I don't know what you needed it for. Do return it when you're through,” she flopped the magazine on his desk and walked away. Sometimes Cathy felt pity for the clearly insane man. Especially when he saw the man with his girlfriend, Alice, it was quite clear that he wasn't from around here but he was putting forth all sorts of effort to blend in. It seemed to her that mostly why he tried so hard was that Alice, he was clearly in love with her and would do anything for her. While Cathy found herself a little jealous at the thought, she was also happy to see them happy. It meant sometimes fairytales really did come true, those two were her proof. And she was assured by their happiness in a ways nothing else had ever assured her.
“Brillian'! Thanks Cathy. I'll be sure ta....well I dunno wha' I'll do bu' I'll be sure ta do sumthin',” He grinned lopsidedly at her, and knew he'd have to think of some repayment for Cathy's help. Maybe some cookies, or a cake, or an Unbirthday party. He didn't know, but one thing was for sure, he was in her debt.
“Don't mention it David. Just you know if you have a brother, or cousin or something bring him by the shop,” She chuckled, and grinned at him. Alright so Cathy did have an ulterior motive. She walked away without noticing the rather confused look on Hatter's face. He had no idea what she meant by a brother or cousin or something. Why would she want to meet his family? That was just weird. Not that he had any family, he'd been an only child and his parents had died very long ago. He was perplexed by the request, so perplexed that he'd almost forgotten she had given him the Martha Stewart floppy-book-thing, what had she called it? Ah yes, magazine, that had been the word he'd been hunting for. He really needed to buy a little book to write these things down in so he wouldn't forget them. Ah well, that would have to wait for another time. Right now what was more important was this Martha broad, and what she knew about Christmas. Hatter quickly looked over the cover trying to decide where to start. His eyes fell to the only sub-header on the page “138 of the best decorations, recipes, and gifts.” Now that was the ticket! This Martha woman really knew what he needed. He'd have to be sure to send her a thank-you note for all her helpfulness. He started flipping through trying to absorb as much as he possibly could, this Martha woman had some very complicated directions. He decided he'd have to go and buy his own copy just to be sure he got everything right, but now he had a very firm picture in his mind of what he needed to do. Alice was working late tonight, so he hoped to surprise her when she came home with the house all done up like something from this book. It seemed this Martha woman was also very adamant about making things herself, which is brilliant because he didn't have a lot of money to spend on things anyways. When he got off work he returned Cathy's magazine, thanked her again, and ran out of the shop like his coattails were ablaze. He had to get started, there was much to do and very little time in which to do it. First, to get this blasted magazine, then supplies, then Charlie.
So first thing was first. He strode right into one of the neighborhing book stores, and kindly asked the shopgirl where their magazines were. She pointed him in the right direction, and he made his way there with a very determing look on his face, leaving the shopgirl to watch him bewildered and confused. What could have this man so worked up that he must see the magazines immediately? Then she was even more bewildered when the man returned with the Martha Stewart magazine, and several other home magazines. What the hell? She quirked a brow at him confused.
Hatter looked at her face, and back up at the magazines, and then back up at her face. “My girlfriend, and I's firs' Christmas, gotta make it a good one,” he explained with a shrug as though it really didn't bother him that she was looking at him like he was complete an utter loon. It really didn't bother him, he was used to people in this world looking at him like he was mad. Hell, he was used to people in his own world looking at him like he was mad. It made little difference to him either way. The girl nodded, still looking perplexed, but gave him no more questioning looks about it. Once he was rung up, and out of her store the girl shook her head. Hatter didn't notice he was already on his way to another store to buy all the things he thought he'd need, or all the things Martha told him he'd need. He'd need things for cookies, and lights, and all this stuff that he wasn't even really sure what it was. He was certain, however, that someone in the stores could and would be happy to help him.
Alright so Tony, as his name tag said his name was, wasn't as happy to help Hatter as Hatter would have liked. In fact it seemed like Tony was a right curmudgeon about this whole Christmas thing. A right Scrooge, Hatter had learned that word from Alice's Christmas Carol book. He assumed since Scrooge was a man who lacked the Christmas spirit entirely and was cruel to everyone, Tony would fit the name quite well enough. Not that I mattered to Hatter, he had enough spirit to go around. However, the boy's lack of spirit and sour attitude had shopping take longer than Hatter had expected meaning he'd have no time to really talk to Charlie, he'd just have to grab the old coot and run. Ah well, such was the life of a spirited mad Hatter. Especially Alice's spirited mad Hatter. Oh wouldn't Alice be pleased with him? She'd probably be so pleased she wouldn't have words for it. He returned everything to the apartment before heading to the looking glass. Hatter took a deep breath looking into the smooth relfective surface of the mirror. He never liked going back, even when he had to. He was always frightened something would go terribly awry, and his Alice would end up in peril again. He wouldn't have that. Sighing heavily he took a deep breath and jumped through the looking glass. The sensation of falling was not something he enjoyed in the least, but he'd deal with it. He was sure Alice enjoyed it even less given her fear of heights, and so he found himself not even bothering to think about complaining to her about it. He landed feet first on a soft patch of grass. Why did you go in one way and come out another? It never made sense to him, but then this was Wonderland and nothing had to make sense here. So even if you went through the looking glass from this side in that lovely station, you came through it from the other side into the sewer. He hated the sewer part. Ah well, this was for Alice! Alice, he must get moving, must grab Charlie and be back on his way! He started in a run down the sewer halls, and quickly made his way outside where wonderland was a bustle with life. It had never been that way while the Queen was ruling, but now it seemed to be back to how it was long before he was born. It was nice to see Wonderland back to it's former glory. Hatter quickly found his way to the new headquarters of the royal family. He figured if anyone knew where Charlie was, Jack would. Even if he disliked Jack immensely.
When he reached the new court he found the place just as alive as the streets of Wonderland. Really how was a man supposed to speak to the king in this mess? Damn this nonsense! He had to get back, he had so much to do. He had to bake cookies, hang lights, hang garland, make candy, and do all sorts of other nonsensical Christmas things. So he marched right up to one of the clubs he'd recognized as being one of the Queen's closest men. Surely this man could help Hatter get to Jack. “Ah, Hatter. What's the meaning of this visit,” number ten, or at least Hatter was sure he was number ten, quirked a brow at him.
“I need ta talk ta Jack. Righ' away. No time ta lose, I'm runnin' late as is,” Hatter said quickly. His eyes darted around nervously, and to tell the truth he looked more the mad hatter than he ever had. Number ten just gaped at the shorter man, confused and slightly annoyed by his presence. Hatter turned back to see Number ten still standing there and grumbled. “Well wha' are ya waitin' on, hop ta.”
“The king is in a meeting, but you can see his right hand advisor, I'll go and fetch him. Why don't you wait right over there,” Number ten point to a set of tables in an arrangement that reminded Hatter oddly of that thing Alice called a Café in her world. Strange. Hatter nodded and went to find a seat, but while he sat he fidgeted. His hat came from his head and his pushed on the brim between his fingers. He just wanted to be home, and by home he meant in his and Alice's little apartment. That was his home now, where his Alice was. And Wonderland made him nervous now. It probably had something to do with all the trouble Alice had gotten herself into while she was here. Hatter had lived here all his life and never gotten into a tickle of trouble. Yet, Alice had been here all of a week and found herself dimple deep in some kind of mess that it took his expert skills to get her out of.
“Hatter, m'boy,” A very familiar voice exclaimed drawing Hatter from his nervous thoughts.
“Charlie! Jus' tha man I was lookin' for,” Hatter said shooting up with a huge grin on his face. “We need ta be off now Charlie, no time ta waste,” Hatter said hurriedly dragging Charlie behind him as he made his way for the door.
“Nonsense m'boy, what is the meaning of this. You cannot just come in here and drag off the King's right hand man. This is positively uncooth, undignified, unright, unfit....wrong even. Now what do you need?” Hatter couldn't believe how very serious Charlie seemed to be taking his new position. It was really kind of annoying, although he should have expected it. This was Charlie we were talking about. “Well don't just stand around gaping like a nincumpoop, tell me what you need. I have business to attend to and your holding me up. If you don't spit it out right off I'll have to be off and ignore you completely.”
Hatter was getting a small headache from Charlie's rambling, it was driving him nuts. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea to start with. “It's a gif' for Alice,” Hatter said simply, he figured that would be enough.
“Well if that's what this is about why didn't you say so from the start? You know I'd do anything for Alice. She'd practically a daughter to me. Precious little toad that she is. I'd do down right anything for her. You should have just said that from the very beginning. Those should have been-”
“Charlie, shu' it,” Hatter cut him off with a grumble. “Get your things, tell Jack, and let's be on our way. I don' 'ave all sorts of time. She's a' work now, and will be back quicker than a fish's whisker. Off ya ge'.” He pushed Charlie in the direction he'd come, ordering him to do as told immediately. It took a full hour for Charlie to get himself ready. Hatter imagined it had something to do with the long winded speech he gave Jack about where he was going and why. Luckily, for Hatter at least, Charlie returned alone all packed and ready to go. Good then he'd not have to see Jack before he left. Hatter thought maybe that was what was best for all of them. After all Hatter had gotten the one thing Jack wanted most, and Jack was left with nothing. Not like Hatter pitied the man, because he didn't. Jack had done it to himself, and he deserved it for using Alice the way he did, and getting Alice into all the trouble he'd gotten her into. Hatter's Alice hadn't deserved that, and Jack should pay for what he'd done.
“I'm all set. Got enough clothes for years. Does Alice know I'm coming,” Charlie asks, but Hatter's been blocking him out as they make a caterpillar line for the mirror room. “Hatter,” Charlie said a little louder touching the younger man's shoulder, “does she know I'm coming?”
Hatter looks up from his thoughts, and grins roguishly. “No she doesn'. She'll be down righ' surprised,” the grin spreads wider, wide enough to rebel the Cheshire's, and turns into a genuine smile. Just talking about how happy this would make his Alice had Hatter more excited than ever. “Now you'll 'ave ta 'elp me with some things. I 'ave a lo' of surprises I wan' ta set up for 'er. Which is why I've recruited yar 'elp. Ya think ya're up for it brave knight?”
Charlie stiffens, and tilts his chin with pride. “We will make this the best surprise Alice has ever experienced. Better than anything else indeed. She'll bee surprised, flabbergasted, gob-smacked, thrilled even.” Hatter just nodded as Charlie continued to yammer. They made it to the mirror room, and both jumped through. Hatter landed on his feet solidly, and helped Charlie as the older man struggled to catch his balance. Wouldn't want grandpa breaking a hip would we? Then who would Hatter tie an apron around to bake cookies? Well he sure as hell wasn't going to wear an apron himself. Alright, so he had thought about it, he didn't want to get his clothes all dirty. Plus Alice looked rather cute in her apron, so who's to say he wouldn't? “So why the surprise m'boy?”
“Oh well it's Christmas 'ere Charlie, and it's kind of a big deal.” Hatter shrugged as he started walking, Charlie followed close behind. Hatter didn't even notice when people were staring at the two of them. Charlie was still in his armor and it was drawing an awful lot of attention. Of course, Hatter was distracted with this Christmas business, his mind was running over all the things he had to do. “Ya ge' a tree, and ornaments, and decorate the 'ouse with lights and stuff. Ya bake cookies, and building 'ouses out of somethin' called gingerbread, and 'ave this big dinner. And there is this stuff called mistletoe tha' makes people kiss, and ya give presents...presents!” Hatter smacked himself in the forehead for his ignorance. How could he have forgotten presents?! Idiot! Moron!
“Well that sounds like a good ol' time. We used have something like it back in the day when the kingdom of the knights was still around. It wasn't called Christmas though. It was called something like Howard's day, I don't know who Howard was but we always ended up having a great time on his day. We'd give presents, and drink, and have a big dinner. Yes, right good time.” He didn't realize Hatter was becoming more and more agitated beside him. Until Hatter let out a loud groan. “What's wrong now? Lord, I'm starting to think this Christmas has driven you mad, Hatter. You'll lose every nut and bolt and marble you have if you go mad. I had a friend who went mad once. Could never find a-”
“Charlie,” Hatter exclaimed cutting the old man off once more. “I've plum forgotten ta ge' Alice a presen'.”
“Really? Hatter, what's wrong with you? That's the most important part to a lady. My, who taught you to keep a lady? You must shower her with attention. Bow to her every whim. Be there night and day. That is how you keep a lady m'boy. You do not 'plum forget' to get them a present for whatever holiday is coming. For that matter who plum forgets anything? Plum forgetting is not even a kind of forgetting. Silly boy.”
“Charlie, I 'ave some time. I'll get one in the next few days. I jus' 'ave ta think of wha' ta ge'. We can think of somethin' while we decorate,” he said finally as he turned the key in the door to their apartment building and led Charlie up to their home. Charlie stopped dead in his tracks when he entered the apartment, completely perplexed by how different it was from his home in Wonderland. However, something in him told him instinctually that this place fit Alice and Hatter perfectly. This was their home sweet home, as it were. There own special little patch of grass to lay their heads and be themselves. And be themselves they were! It was quite clear by the hat rack by the door that had about four top hats littered on it, or the overflowing bookshelf siddled up along a wall. Even the colors of the room just said Alice meets Hatter. There were touches of Alice here, and touches of Hatter there. Tea cups filled with wax strewn everywhere. And a painting of a scene from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland hung neatly on the blank wall across from the door, so it was the first thing a person saw. Yes, there was no doubt this was Alice and Hatter's home.
“Well,” Hatter said putting his arms out as if putting the very apartment on display. “What do ya think? It's no' real big or nuthin'. But-”
“It's home,” they both said at the same time, and Hatter grinned a little wider at Charlie. It pleased him immensely that Charlie saw it too.
“Marvelous m'dear boy! I do think most of this is Alice's taste though, I how poor your taste is. She's quite the decorator that one is. You're lucky to have such a lady,” Charlie rambled on nonsensically. Hatter almost found himself offended that Alice was given all the credit for the decorating, but then he remembered it was Charlie who was speaking, and he should expect that from the old loon. “So what shall we start on? I'm eager to get this venture underway. Plus you did make it sound as if Alice would be home any minute. And we'd hate for her to see us in the midst of this surprise wouldn't we?”
“Well let's pu' yar things in the office. Alice 'as this thin' called a futon in there, it supposedly works jus' like a bed. So ya should be able ta sleep there tonigh'. Then I think we should star' on cookies, then decoratin'.” All of this was said as he lead Charlie down a very short hall way. So short in fact there were only three rooms off it. One to the right, one to the left, and one straight ahead. Hatter directed Charlie into the one to the left.
“Futon?” The old man examined the piece of furniture with a weary eye. “That sounds like some kind of food. Don't you have a hammock? I'd much prefer a hammock. I don't know about this futon thing. Just the name of it makes me want to eat it. Yes, a hammock would be much better indeed.”
“No, Charlie no 'ammock. Ya 'ave ta deal with the futon. Now we 'aven't the time ta waste let's get started.” Hatter just hoped and prayed Charlie was as good at baking cookies as he was at cooking booragrove. Because he didn't know a tickle about that confounded thing Alice called an oven.