(no subject)
I wish I had guts. I wish so bad that money didn't matter. I feel like I would be at my happiest if I just left everything I had and lived with the poor, and just gave my life to directly serve others. I miss my F side. I have become too much of a T. Being a political science major has made me forget why I am one in the first place, and instead made me look at everything through economic and lenses instead of through a moral and ethical lens. I mean I want to end poverty and war and all that, but dang sometimes I wish I could do it face to face with people instead of through a political process. I feel like by making all the connections I've made through campaigning and such, I'm just gonna get sucked into the whole political mess and never be able to escape. Its kind of similar to the way I felt about being a DCE major. I felt like there was a whole other world out there that I was missing out on because all I could see was this circle of LCMS people and such. I just want to be Mother Teresa. But I there is this part of me that wants power and recognition, and I can't get rid of it. Another part of me just wants to play music, and another part just wants to take pictures. I feel like I've become so adaptable, like when I am being politically active, I put on my politician side. I hate that. I just want to be Garrett, the same guy every hour of the day, every day of the week. I wish I could just love Jesus and not feel like I am belittling my inteligence. I wish I could play pop-punk music and be crazy energetic and not feel like I was sacrificing my image. I wish I could not worry about fulfilling my potential and just do what makes me happy. I wish I could have a real personal conversation with someone. In other news, my roommate told me today he is interested in getting into wicka and witchcraft and such. I really have no idea what to say to that. I'm going home this coming weekend for my moms 50th birthday. I feel kind of bad for her. Aging sucks straight up. Should be nice nonetheless. Peace.