(no subject)
i think the worst thing in the world is not being able to put your thoughts or feelings into words. on another note, i have been drawing some lately. its weird, when i draw this incredible energy and focus comes out of me. i sit their determined and completely entranced by the task at hand. i'll will listen to music while drawing and before i even realize the album is over and a lot of the time i can't even remember listening to the music because i was so delved into the art. most the time i don't even step back to look at the whole picture till i am done. usually it frightens me because i forgot what i was capable of with art. i'm starting to get used to it though, and now the satisfaction and content of being able to replicate something into a nice image is wearing off and being replaced by a desire to take it a step further and challenge my creativity. their are so many ideas in my head that i have no way of expressing and i think i can possibly release them through art. as well, i want to start writing music again, and just writing for the sake or writing. ive let my guitar and the piano gather dust for too long. i have played guitar a lot lately and i was surprised with the ease and diversity of styles that came out compared to prior years. the camera is coming back soon and the thought of looking at the world through a lense again fills me with with a nervous energy and eagerness. maybe i am trying too much but lately it just seems like my creativity has been the driving force in getting me out of bed each day and i can't sleep until i feel my creative energy has been released. other than that i have been glued to politics as usual, reading an unhealthy amount of wikipedia, and questioning any and everything within the universe. its been a struggle but for some reason i think im okay with never knowing the answer. well, i guess 2007 is just about over. it's been a good year. i probably made the most personal improvement in a one year span of any other in my young life. and hopefully i can improve on that this coming year. i think my one profound revalation i felt like i had today was that if you try to be all things for all people, you will be nothing. instead you will be like a mirror. people will look at you and only see themselves. they will be left lonely and longing for a unique human being that gives them what they do not have, rather than what they already do.