My thoughts at the moment...

[greeneyedtears]

I have this urge to scream and yell at the top of my lungs... but something is stopping any sound from coming out. I'm confused, but I like where everything is... except for me... I would like to be else where. I don't know what is next or how fast it is going to get here or what will change in the process. Why is it that every function that I am invited to involves drinking, nay heavy drinking... Sure, I don't have to drink myself... but then there is that dealing with incredibly wasted people when I am completely sober and I don't find that fun. I hate college, I am so past it, it's like I have already moved on from the relationship but I am obligated to stay for seven more months. Jesus, I don't know how I am going to stand it... one day at a time, one week every seven days, one month every four weeks, one college career over with after seven months. I could do the math but that might be really depressing... I am alone in my apartment with nothing to do... everyone I know is out doing things, either theatre related (which I have neglected to be involved in) or alcohol related (which I choose not to partake in)... so maybe it is my own fault. That's a great way to look at things... I'll just take all of the blame on myself, personally responsibility and all that gripe... I know this doesn't make sense... but I could really care less if you understand what I am talking about or not... like an intelligent friend once said, "This is a journal.
And it is supposed to encompass how I feel.
It's supposed to say what I'm thinking.
It's supposed to convey what is going on."
So, if you don't get it... I don't care.

Thanks.