What is happening...
I've never had this much trouble trying to put my feelings into words.
Alone.
Apathetic.
...mostly apathetic.
I don't want to speak to anyone.
I don't want to see anyone.
But here's the thing-
I'm scared to be too trusting.
I feel like I should be typical. And be concerned.
When I'm not really.
And I get angry with myself when I lead you to think that I am worried. Or upset.
Because you think that I don't trust you.
When that could not be further from the truth.
I just have to convince myself that the images in my head are fake. They would never happen.
I am only able to come to these conclusions when I've had time alone to think.
It's just hard to get the what-if's out of my thoughts.
Alone.
Apathetic.
...mostly apathetic.
I don't want to speak to anyone.
I don't want to see anyone.
But here's the thing-
I'm scared to be too trusting.
I feel like I should be typical. And be concerned.
When I'm not really.
And I get angry with myself when I lead you to think that I am worried. Or upset.
Because you think that I don't trust you.
When that could not be further from the truth.
I just have to convince myself that the images in my head are fake. They would never happen.
I am only able to come to these conclusions when I've had time alone to think.
It's just hard to get the what-if's out of my thoughts.