Fic: The Mechanics
Title: The Mechanics
Rating: R For the sexy talk
Spoilers: None
Genre: Humor
A/N: Written for Kalleah’s smut prompts (http://kalleah.livejournal.com/63881.html)
Summary: . “Time Lords went thousands of years without ever having intercourse. I went hundreds of years without- oh, Rassilon, who am I kidding?”
Under the cut
Jack chuckled.
The Doctor glared terribly at him. “What?”
“You’re limping.”
The Doctor’s glare turned into a scowl.
“You are!” Jack defended. “What happened last night? I thought you and Rose…y’know…” he gave a suggestive whistle.
The Doctor sighed heavily and leaned against the console. “I don’t think we’re going to be trying that again any time soon.”
“What happened?”
“I…believe the entire…episode consisted of ‘ow, you’re on my hair’ and ‘oh, god, my eye.’”
Jack cringed. “Yikes.”
“And I think I pulled a muscle.”
“Ow.” Jack shook his head. “How’s Rose?”
“She won’t come out of her room.”
“Huh.”
“I don’t know,” The Doctor grumbled. “Maybe we should have kept things on a platonic level. The whole thing was a complete and total disaster.”
Jack shrugged. “Maybe you guys just tried too hard.”
“Excuse me?”
“Get drunk,” Jack translated.
“I don’t get drunk,” The Doctor replied, lifting his head. “Superior-“
“Alpha Metibulicus.”
The Doctor sniffed. “Right. Okay. I do, on occasion, very rarely, hardly ever get drunk.”
“Uh-huh.” Jack grinned. “Rose, however…”
“Oi!” The Doctor cried. “I respect her a bit to much to do that.”
“Respect her all you like. That won’t make the sex any better.”
“Who needs sex anyways,” The Doctor grumbled as he walked around the console and picked up a couple of tools with effort. He winced as he bent down. “Time Lords went thousands of years without ever having intercourse. I went hundreds of years without- oh, Rassilon, who am I kidding?”
Jack watched him with a smirk. “Listen, if you won’t go with alcohol, the only advice I can give you is to let that muscle- and your ego- heal up, and then try, try again.”
The Doctor frowned. “This is going to be painful, isn’t it?”
“Probably,” Jack replied. “But…eventually it’ll be worth it.”
“Right, and now I have to convince Rose of that.”
Jack paused and blinked. “Yeah. Have fun with that.”
The Doctor glared again.
“Or…” Jack went on suggestively. “I could step in and-“
“Get out.”
“Just a suggestion.”
END
Rating: R For the sexy talk
Spoilers: None
Genre: Humor
A/N: Written for Kalleah’s smut prompts (http://kalleah.livejournal.com/63881.html)
Summary: . “Time Lords went thousands of years without ever having intercourse. I went hundreds of years without- oh, Rassilon, who am I kidding?”
Under the cut
Jack chuckled.
The Doctor glared terribly at him. “What?”
“You’re limping.”
The Doctor’s glare turned into a scowl.
“You are!” Jack defended. “What happened last night? I thought you and Rose…y’know…” he gave a suggestive whistle.
The Doctor sighed heavily and leaned against the console. “I don’t think we’re going to be trying that again any time soon.”
“What happened?”
“I…believe the entire…episode consisted of ‘ow, you’re on my hair’ and ‘oh, god, my eye.’”
Jack cringed. “Yikes.”
“And I think I pulled a muscle.”
“Ow.” Jack shook his head. “How’s Rose?”
“She won’t come out of her room.”
“Huh.”
“I don’t know,” The Doctor grumbled. “Maybe we should have kept things on a platonic level. The whole thing was a complete and total disaster.”
Jack shrugged. “Maybe you guys just tried too hard.”
“Excuse me?”
“Get drunk,” Jack translated.
“I don’t get drunk,” The Doctor replied, lifting his head. “Superior-“
“Alpha Metibulicus.”
The Doctor sniffed. “Right. Okay. I do, on occasion, very rarely, hardly ever get drunk.”
“Uh-huh.” Jack grinned. “Rose, however…”
“Oi!” The Doctor cried. “I respect her a bit to much to do that.”
“Respect her all you like. That won’t make the sex any better.”
“Who needs sex anyways,” The Doctor grumbled as he walked around the console and picked up a couple of tools with effort. He winced as he bent down. “Time Lords went thousands of years without ever having intercourse. I went hundreds of years without- oh, Rassilon, who am I kidding?”
Jack watched him with a smirk. “Listen, if you won’t go with alcohol, the only advice I can give you is to let that muscle- and your ego- heal up, and then try, try again.”
The Doctor frowned. “This is going to be painful, isn’t it?”
“Probably,” Jack replied. “But…eventually it’ll be worth it.”
“Right, and now I have to convince Rose of that.”
Jack paused and blinked. “Yeah. Have fun with that.”
The Doctor glared again.
“Or…” Jack went on suggestively. “I could step in and-“
“Get out.”
“Just a suggestion.”
END