Fic: Five Times the Doctor Should Have Listened to Dean Winchester and One Time He Did
Title: Five Times the Doctor Should Have Listened to Dean Winchester, and One Time He Did
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Doctor Who/Supernatural
Characters/Pairings: The Doctor (Mostly 10, one case of 9), Dean Winchester, glimpses of Sam Winchester, Rose Tyler, Martha Jones and Doctor/Rose
Spoilers: Nothing but Doomsday
Warnings: Crude-ish language
Genre: Humor
Disclaimer: Dean belongs to the Kripke, the Doctor is RTD's. No money
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin
Under the Cut:
Five Times the Doctor should have listened to Dean Winchester:
1.
"Don't you touch my shotgun."
The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at the teen. "Boys your age shouldn't have their own shotgun."
"Dude, I'm seventeen!" Dean Winchester cried, reaching out to grab the firearm. "Give it back!"
The Doctor held it away, pinstripe covered arm held above his head.
Dean Winchester reeled his left fist back, and let it fly into the Doctor's jaw. The Time Lord stumbled backward, dropping the shotgun. "What'd you do that for?!?!?!"
Dean glared at him. "You took my shotgun." He lifted it up and cradled it in his arms. "S'okay, baby. The limey bitch won't hurt you anymore."
The Doctor groaned.
2.
"Don't you open that door."
The Doctor rolled blue eyes, thick sausage fingers gripping the doorknob. "What do you know?"
"More 'n you," Dean Winchester shouted, his colt 1911 held at the read. "Don't. Open. The door."
The Doctor sighed. "There's nothing in there to shoot, Dean Winchester. Look I'll show you."
"No, D-"
The Doctor swung the door open, self-assured grin on his face. It quickly died as he caught a glimpse of the large beast on the other side. Maggots slid down its face, and yellow, blood-stained teeth dripped with drool.
Dean aimed above the Doctor's head and shot it in the head. It dropped, and the Doctor whirled around, eyes wide with shock.
"Undead werewolf," Dean shook his head. "Hate those things."
3.
"Hey, Doc!" Dean Winchester cried, turning from bar, a shot in each of his hand. "You should try this shit!"
The Doctor shook his head, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants, pushing his long tan coat back. "It's a good thing you run for your life so much, Dean Winchester. Otherwise you'd have some interesting issues, the way you drink."
Dean gave him a winning smile, and threw one shot back, before downing the other.
The Doctor sighed heavily.
4.
"Don't step out of the circle."
The Doctor squinted. "It's salt."
"You're damn right it's salt," Dean Winchester snapped. "And if you step out of it, that possessed chick is going to kill you dead."
"I have to help Marhta!" The Doctor cried, lifting a foot. "Salt is not going to-"
The moment his foot touched the the floor outside the circle, Martha Jones, or what was once Martha Jones but was now Martha Jones' body, possessed by a demon, pounced on him.
Dean shook his head and gave out a put-upon sigh. "Sammy!" he barked into the other room. "Get the Latin!"
5.
Dean Winchester watched as the blonde that had accompanied the Doctor into the Roadhouse that night leaned over to chat with Ellen, who was tending bar. His eyes ran over her shoulders and the curve of her mighty fine rear bumper.
The Doctor cleared his throat loudly, and Dean turned to him.
"Stop staring."
"Why should I?" Dean asked. "She's hot."
"Rose," the Doctor snapped. "Is not interested in the likes of you."
"Why? You doin' her?"
The Doctor's face turned red, though with anger or embarrassment, Dean didn't no. "Of course not!"
Dean shrugged and slugged down the rest of his beer. "You should do her."
The Doctor stared at him disapprovingly from over his banana daiquiri.
"Hey, if you're not gonna let me, somebody should be gettin' a piece of that action, because damn."
The Doctor rolled his eyes.
****
And the one time he did...
Dean Winchester sat next to the Doctor at the bar, a witty, teasing remark at the ready. He stopped when he caught the melancholy look on the alien's face.
"Doc?"
"Not quite in the mood for your stimulating intellectual repartee this evening, Dean Winchester," the Doctor said absently as he stared at his empty glass.
Dean frowned. "You look like somebody shot your kitten in the face, man, what happened?"
The Doctor sighed heavily. "You wouldn't understand."
"Aw, come on, try me."
"I lost her," the Doctor said quietly.
"Lost who?"
"Rose."
Dean frowned. "The smokin' blonde?"
The Doctor gave a long-suffering sigh. "Yes, Dean. The "smokin' blonde."
Dean's frown deepened as he thought for a silent moment. "Well...go git her."
The Doctor looked up, glaring. "Don't you think if I could, I would?" he snapped. "If I go after her, two entire universes would collapse in on themselves!"
"And?"
"What do you mean 'and'?!" the Doctor cried. "And, if two universes collapse, all life on both gets destroyed, Dean!"
Dean clasped his hands on the bar and gave the Doctor a calm look. "You love this chick?"
"She's not a 'chick!' she-"
"Answer the question, Poindexter!"
The Doctor shut his mouth and sighed heavily. "Yes. Alright? Yes."
Dean nodded slowly. "Then I suggest you order yourself up a shot of something stronger than your usual, and go git her."
The two men looked at each other calmly for a long moment, before the Doctor blew out a breath and turned to the bar.
"Ellen? Whiskey, please. Neat."
END
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Doctor Who/Supernatural
Characters/Pairings: The Doctor (Mostly 10, one case of 9), Dean Winchester, glimpses of Sam Winchester, Rose Tyler, Martha Jones and Doctor/Rose
Spoilers: Nothing but Doomsday
Warnings: Crude-ish language
Genre: Humor
Disclaimer: Dean belongs to the Kripke, the Doctor is RTD's. No money
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin
Under the Cut:
Five Times the Doctor should have listened to Dean Winchester:
1.
"Don't you touch my shotgun."
The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at the teen. "Boys your age shouldn't have their own shotgun."
"Dude, I'm seventeen!" Dean Winchester cried, reaching out to grab the firearm. "Give it back!"
The Doctor held it away, pinstripe covered arm held above his head.
Dean Winchester reeled his left fist back, and let it fly into the Doctor's jaw. The Time Lord stumbled backward, dropping the shotgun. "What'd you do that for?!?!?!"
Dean glared at him. "You took my shotgun." He lifted it up and cradled it in his arms. "S'okay, baby. The limey bitch won't hurt you anymore."
The Doctor groaned.
2.
"Don't you open that door."
The Doctor rolled blue eyes, thick sausage fingers gripping the doorknob. "What do you know?"
"More 'n you," Dean Winchester shouted, his colt 1911 held at the read. "Don't. Open. The door."
The Doctor sighed. "There's nothing in there to shoot, Dean Winchester. Look I'll show you."
"No, D-"
The Doctor swung the door open, self-assured grin on his face. It quickly died as he caught a glimpse of the large beast on the other side. Maggots slid down its face, and yellow, blood-stained teeth dripped with drool.
Dean aimed above the Doctor's head and shot it in the head. It dropped, and the Doctor whirled around, eyes wide with shock.
"Undead werewolf," Dean shook his head. "Hate those things."
3.
"Hey, Doc!" Dean Winchester cried, turning from bar, a shot in each of his hand. "You should try this shit!"
The Doctor shook his head, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants, pushing his long tan coat back. "It's a good thing you run for your life so much, Dean Winchester. Otherwise you'd have some interesting issues, the way you drink."
Dean gave him a winning smile, and threw one shot back, before downing the other.
The Doctor sighed heavily.
4.
"Don't step out of the circle."
The Doctor squinted. "It's salt."
"You're damn right it's salt," Dean Winchester snapped. "And if you step out of it, that possessed chick is going to kill you dead."
"I have to help Marhta!" The Doctor cried, lifting a foot. "Salt is not going to-"
The moment his foot touched the the floor outside the circle, Martha Jones, or what was once Martha Jones but was now Martha Jones' body, possessed by a demon, pounced on him.
Dean shook his head and gave out a put-upon sigh. "Sammy!" he barked into the other room. "Get the Latin!"
5.
Dean Winchester watched as the blonde that had accompanied the Doctor into the Roadhouse that night leaned over to chat with Ellen, who was tending bar. His eyes ran over her shoulders and the curve of her mighty fine rear bumper.
The Doctor cleared his throat loudly, and Dean turned to him.
"Stop staring."
"Why should I?" Dean asked. "She's hot."
"Rose," the Doctor snapped. "Is not interested in the likes of you."
"Why? You doin' her?"
The Doctor's face turned red, though with anger or embarrassment, Dean didn't no. "Of course not!"
Dean shrugged and slugged down the rest of his beer. "You should do her."
The Doctor stared at him disapprovingly from over his banana daiquiri.
"Hey, if you're not gonna let me, somebody should be gettin' a piece of that action, because damn."
The Doctor rolled his eyes.
****
And the one time he did...
Dean Winchester sat next to the Doctor at the bar, a witty, teasing remark at the ready. He stopped when he caught the melancholy look on the alien's face.
"Doc?"
"Not quite in the mood for your stimulating intellectual repartee this evening, Dean Winchester," the Doctor said absently as he stared at his empty glass.
Dean frowned. "You look like somebody shot your kitten in the face, man, what happened?"
The Doctor sighed heavily. "You wouldn't understand."
"Aw, come on, try me."
"I lost her," the Doctor said quietly.
"Lost who?"
"Rose."
Dean frowned. "The smokin' blonde?"
The Doctor gave a long-suffering sigh. "Yes, Dean. The "smokin' blonde."
Dean's frown deepened as he thought for a silent moment. "Well...go git her."
The Doctor looked up, glaring. "Don't you think if I could, I would?" he snapped. "If I go after her, two entire universes would collapse in on themselves!"
"And?"
"What do you mean 'and'?!" the Doctor cried. "And, if two universes collapse, all life on both gets destroyed, Dean!"
Dean clasped his hands on the bar and gave the Doctor a calm look. "You love this chick?"
"She's not a 'chick!' she-"
"Answer the question, Poindexter!"
The Doctor shut his mouth and sighed heavily. "Yes. Alright? Yes."
Dean nodded slowly. "Then I suggest you order yourself up a shot of something stronger than your usual, and go git her."
The two men looked at each other calmly for a long moment, before the Doctor blew out a breath and turned to the bar.
"Ellen? Whiskey, please. Neat."
END