my life is so wierd and yeah....
"Never
thought i would meet someone like you....."so today i went grocery
shoppin with the sister. she was cool about things than went to
practice and to my horroble surprise.....Cody was in the car with
her..YAY!(not) i dont kno what to do about him like i am truley in love
with kid but just as a friend like he is my best friend right now and
he is very dear to me but i cannot be around him a lot, im usually doin
something to keep myself occupied or he just shows up at my house which
bothers the fuck out of me. i mean can the pick up the phone? school
starts next monday and being that i wont be able to do a lot of things
besides school work and tennis hes gonna be all over her and i cant
deal with that i need my sleep i dont get enough as it is so with him
here hes just a stressor on me.i dunno whenever im with him i feel i
have to be on my best behavior i cant like talk to him about anything
he gets all jealous and shit so i have to be allgood and i cany do that
picture perfect act all the time i already have to hold it up at
work...than theres Patrick who i feel totally comfortable with. im
always thinkin about him but we just arent dating and i mean i kno we
havent known each other very long and weve only been hangin out for
like 2wks but i mean we are just like delaying the ineveitable right?
we are eventually gonna date so why waste time we have aleready had sex
and...and well i feel like a damn well where he uses me when hes needed
and i dont want to be another damn call girl ....im changing how i am
this year last year was bullshit this is my senior year im going to try
actually try my best at everything try to keep my gpa up and not all
shitty and down. i dunno what im goin to
do....
"The smell of gasoline and the summer heat...boy were going way to
fast.."