'cause my brother never learns
Today.. My brother did some things that made me feel ashamed to be related to him. And.. about 80% of what he did was just normal. He's 16, he's male, and he gets bored on the bus and lord knows little kids want to be cool and learn all the dirty things from the big kids. But the other 20% infuriated me.
First, to make it clear.. I resent the fact that I was born a sexual creature. I resent it with the entirety of my conscience mind. I hate it because I can't resist it, can't avoid it and that it will forever control my life, no matter how much I try to reject it. To make it even worse.. so many people fail to see that they can rise above it.. being born like this, of course we can never say no to it.. that plus it would make everything that we have done, and everything everyone has ever done absolutely obsolete.. because no matter what we do, we do it for the future and to completely reject sex would to end our species and therefore make everything pointless. We'd lose the only reason to live. I hardly doubt anyone builds an empire to destroy it when they die. They want their legacy to continue.. so.. with all that said, I can say that I don't totally despise this fact of our birth.. but it doesn' mean that I have to like that so many people let it control them.
And my brother let it control him. And it's not the fact that he let it control him that really irritated him, because I know that I already don' like my brother.. so why should I care what he does with his life.. it was when he started telling the little kids the wrong information. Saying that rape was impossible between two girls.. because they have nothing to stick in each other. It's one thing to tell the little kids stuff.. but to tell them the wrong stuff.. especially my brother. I may not like him, but I can't say that he isn' smart.. maybe not smart in all the right ways, but certainly smart. I would have gotten up and went back there to correct my brother, but the problem is, it would have just started an argument because that's just one way my brother is not smart: admitting when he's wrong.. or any way socially really.. but I'll just have to place my faith in Savannah and Levi that maybe one day they'll learn better. And while I'm at it, I'm gonna have to place my faith in Leah to learn how to stand up to my brother and get him to really stop telling her little brother [Levi] stuff that she doesn' want him told. Because my brother started going into sex toys [particularly the ones where you plug 'em into a music player] and Leah specifically told him that she didn' want him telling stuff like that to her little brother. Then my ever socially inept brother started teasing her, sayin' stuff like how she probably has a few in her room.. I didn' like this because it was setting an example to Levi...
and I'm just down right furious with my brother. I'm thinkin' of talkin' to mom about it, see what should be done about it.. but I have a feeling that she'll talk to him and he'll know it's me and he just won' talk as loudly on the bus..
First, to make it clear.. I resent the fact that I was born a sexual creature. I resent it with the entirety of my conscience mind. I hate it because I can't resist it, can't avoid it and that it will forever control my life, no matter how much I try to reject it. To make it even worse.. so many people fail to see that they can rise above it.. being born like this, of course we can never say no to it.. that plus it would make everything that we have done, and everything everyone has ever done absolutely obsolete.. because no matter what we do, we do it for the future and to completely reject sex would to end our species and therefore make everything pointless. We'd lose the only reason to live. I hardly doubt anyone builds an empire to destroy it when they die. They want their legacy to continue.. so.. with all that said, I can say that I don't totally despise this fact of our birth.. but it doesn' mean that I have to like that so many people let it control them.
And my brother let it control him. And it's not the fact that he let it control him that really irritated him, because I know that I already don' like my brother.. so why should I care what he does with his life.. it was when he started telling the little kids the wrong information. Saying that rape was impossible between two girls.. because they have nothing to stick in each other. It's one thing to tell the little kids stuff.. but to tell them the wrong stuff.. especially my brother. I may not like him, but I can't say that he isn' smart.. maybe not smart in all the right ways, but certainly smart. I would have gotten up and went back there to correct my brother, but the problem is, it would have just started an argument because that's just one way my brother is not smart: admitting when he's wrong.. or any way socially really.. but I'll just have to place my faith in Savannah and Levi that maybe one day they'll learn better. And while I'm at it, I'm gonna have to place my faith in Leah to learn how to stand up to my brother and get him to really stop telling her little brother [Levi] stuff that she doesn' want him told. Because my brother started going into sex toys [particularly the ones where you plug 'em into a music player] and Leah specifically told him that she didn' want him telling stuff like that to her little brother. Then my ever socially inept brother started teasing her, sayin' stuff like how she probably has a few in her room.. I didn' like this because it was setting an example to Levi...
and I'm just down right furious with my brother. I'm thinkin' of talkin' to mom about it, see what should be done about it.. but I have a feeling that she'll talk to him and he'll know it's me and he just won' talk as loudly on the bus..