just some things
I am still really sad about Heath's death, but I have found the secret to making it through the day. I pretend he is alive or I just forget him. I know it sounds bad but it is the only way to stay sane when needed. Of course there are some problems with my plan. I always end up thinking about him at random times in the day and I end up becoming still and just staring ahead because of all of the suppressed emotion that is suddenly showing up. Another drawback is when I do let myself think about him ad his tragic death at night it makes me go crazy. I have yet to find a good way to deal with this and I don't think I will be able to completely accept it.
Another thing that I have been doing lately is talking to Heath. I believe in Heaven and I believe Heath went to Heaven, so I talk to him. I guess it has helped me to accept it a little more. At least now when I talk to him he can here it. I have started to think of him as a friend and even if he chooses to ignore this random person talking to him from earth I will still tell him stuff as if he were a friend. It is how I got through when my grandpa died and I think it helps me grieve. It may seem odd to you but since it helps I am going to keep at it.
I miss you Heath. A lot. You had such a great life ahead of you, and I know you could have accomplished greatness. My prayers are with you and your loved ones.