Brokenworld 1
"Arthur, do we need to have another talk about when it is -- and more importantly, is not -- appropriate to shoot people?"
Arthur frowned. "If he didn't want to get shot, he should've made more noise."
Lucy McClane looked around for someone to share a commiserating look with. The closest she got was Olivia Dunham, who shrugged before going back to checking their newest cache of weaponry.
"Next time we meet that little vampire chick, I'm joining her," Damon Salvatore said. He was sitting on the ground, mopping blood off his chest and glaring at everyone. "She doesn't shoot her team mates."
"That's because she eats them," Nikola Tesla pointed out. He sounded a little dreamy. "If I were still a vampire--"
Damon pointed at him with his bloody shirt. "I still don't believe that, by the way."
"Do I care? No, no, I do not."
Lucy rolled her eyes. "The next time we find some normal people, I'm joining them."
They all stared at her.
"...Good luck with that," Olivia said finally.
*
They didn't find any normal people, but a terminator found them, and Damon got more beat up. And then Olivia found an enormous ant creature, and Damon probably would've got more beat up, except he tripped on a root and fell on Lucy, who got knocked unconscious, and Olivia and Nikola took down the ant, while Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose and wondered if, in retrospect, working with Eames hadn't been so bad after all.
"There's ant all over my pants," Nikola complained. They were making their way further into the woods, hoping that the landscape would eventually change for something better, like California, or at least somewhere with less creatures hellbent on killing them.
"At least you still have pants," Damon said bitterly. His shirt had turned out to be a lost cause, and he was currently carrying Lucy around. He was not appreciating his unlife.
"Not for long, I won't. If you'd be a less useless vampire--"
"Both of you, shut up," Arthur told them, after repeatedly glaring at them failed to work.
They walked on in silence, Olivia way ahead of them, probably to avoid listening to the bickering. Then she stopped dead and slowly raised her arms into the air.
*
Lucy woke up in paradise.
"Hell, actually," a stranger said drily. She was sitting crosslegged on a floor made of crates, judging by the brandnames Lucy glimpsed. "Good morning. I'm Ellie, Ellie Linton."
"She's the boss," an equally strange boy with curly hair and an English accent added. He was stirring a pot with a expression of fascinated disgust.
"And you're what? The chef?" Lucy said weakly.
Ellie snorted. "No, Nathan is the canonfodder."
"Oh, thanks a lot!" Nathan scowled. "My contribution to this... this thing is essential, I'll have you know! Without me, this whole place would fall apart, admit it." He paused, poking at something in the pot. "Also, you love me, you know it. You want to have hot, steamy, sticky, disgusting sex with me in your tent."
Ellie looked revolted. "Ugh."
A smaller girl with curls that rivaled Nathan's entered, carrying fish dangling from a stick. She frowned. "Stop sexually harrassing Ellie."
"Stop being so creepy," Nathan retorted. "No ten year old speaks like that."
The girl ignored him and began slicing up the fish.
*
"So," Damon said. "You think they kill everyone over the age of twenty, and if so, will I make it on a technicality, or is it just a coincidence?"
"Really, your complete narcissism is your most compelling feature," Nikola said. He sounded like he meant it, too.
Damon looked flattered by the unexpected compliment. "Thank you. I try."
*
"Lucy can stay, but what do we think about the others?" Ellie looked around. "Emily?"
"I'm not a walking lie detector," Emily Lightman protested. "I okayed Nathan."
Nathan pouted. Motorbaby rolled her eyes, then patted him on the knee. She was fond of him, but tended to blame it on a serious case of getting Stockholm'd into it.
"I like Olivia," Alexis Castle said. "She reminds me of Detective Beckett."
Ellie nodded.
"The guys are kind of... Weird. I mean, Nathan is weird--"
"Hey!"
"--but these guys are seriously weird," Alexis said, ignoring the interruption.
"Maybe they're sort of like draculoids," Motorbaby suggested. "Except prettier." Granted, being prettier than most draculoids didn't take much.
Parker dropped down from the tree she'd been perched in, landing lightly on her feet. "Enemy in sight," she informed them. She thought for a moment. "The new guys could fight."
*
"You are not a teenager," was the first thing Arthur said upon seeing Parker.
Parker blinked. "No," she agreed. She threw a rifle at him, he caught it automatically. "Enemy in sight. Metal and dead people."
"Dead people?" Arthur repeated. He checked the rifle. It was an old weapon that seemed like new. Sometimes he still wasn't sure if this wasn't just a very fucked up dream of some kind. He wasn't convinced enough to try dying however. Not yet. Sadly he remembered very well how he'd ended up here.
"Zombies," Parker added. "Probably. They move slowly, but they're hard to stop."
Olivia came up behind her, holding what looked like some kind of energy weapon. "Smash their heads in, that usually works. If not, fire is a good backup."
"We're... in a forest," Arthur said, looking around pointedly at all the leafy things. Nature wasn't his thing, but he could recognize tree and grass when he saw it. Flammable things.
Olivia shrugged. "That's why it's the backup plan."
*
Nathan was in the front lines. As usual. "One day I'm not going to wake up again, and then you'll all be sorry," he yelled. They all ignored him. Not that he'd expected anything else. He muttered to himself, until a rock hit him on the shoulder. "Ow! Fuck! What?"
"Shut up!" One of the new guys yelled. "I can't hear them coming with you bitching all the time!"
Nathan officially didn't like the new guys.
*
tbc
Fandoms featured: Tomorrow When The War Began, Fringe, Sanctuary, Inception, Killjoys, Leverage, Misfits, Castle, Lie to Me, The Vampire Diaries, Terminator, Die Hard, the Empire trilogy, Battlestar Galactica, possibly more. Probably more in future installments.