(no subject)
my mom and i got into a huge fight today about EVERYTHING...including ian...
it started because the first thing she does when i get home from school is pick at something ive done or at what im wearing....today, it was make up that i got on the floor that i havent even noticed....
then it boiled to a whole other level when she brought ian into it...AND THEN she had nerve to tell me i dont respect my body because of the way i dress....
she also told me that she has a life other than me...and that all i do is take take take...and appartently she's concluded that therapy doesnt do anything for me so i told her to stop paying for it if thats how she really feels...
and she said fine...
dammit, if i dont go to therapy, i dont know what im going to do..ill go fucking insane....i knew this shit was going to happen too...i knew that i was going to get addicted to it and depend on it and what not...
fuck
o, and i also told her that im not happy here and i want to move..so she told me to go then...
if she thinks im bluffing she's a fucking idiot...ian and i have already basically planned it out..everything is ready except for a job lined up and of course school...
i would like to take the next semester off so i can chill out on it and work for a few months til ian and i get on our feet together and i get use to living with him, BUT, in THE GREAT state of north carolina (sarcasm) i cant do that....i have to go to full time school to be on my parents insurance (medical) and if i dont, then i gotta start paying for it (which i totally can't afford right now) and what sucks even worse is that my mom stated this after i said i plan on moving in january:
"Why are you waiting til then to move Tamara? OH, i get it, you are waiting til school is out so you can move between semesters, is that it? SO you must think that I'm just oging to keep paying for your school if you move up to Boone?"
so im under the impression that she's threatening me with that (not paying for my schooling) because she doesnt want me to move up there-which goes into, she thinks my relationship with ian is shit and always has been-which-if she sticks to what she threatended, she will then prove that she has no respect for my relationship....
i just wanted to tell her outright...."well, guess whtat? we are engaged! so how serious does that prove to you that we are?" but i didnt...i didnt want to hear the next big shpeal...i was already ready to explode!
SO, im going to my advisor tomorrow and calling Caldwell community col. to see what the deal is with them and when i can get in to take placement test...with my luck ill have to do it the weekend of that halloween party...ugh...at least id take the test first! -then party afterwards!
anyways, thats my situation right now..
just grand, isnt it?
it started because the first thing she does when i get home from school is pick at something ive done or at what im wearing....today, it was make up that i got on the floor that i havent even noticed....
then it boiled to a whole other level when she brought ian into it...AND THEN she had nerve to tell me i dont respect my body because of the way i dress....
she also told me that she has a life other than me...and that all i do is take take take...and appartently she's concluded that therapy doesnt do anything for me so i told her to stop paying for it if thats how she really feels...
and she said fine...
dammit, if i dont go to therapy, i dont know what im going to do..ill go fucking insane....i knew this shit was going to happen too...i knew that i was going to get addicted to it and depend on it and what not...
fuck
o, and i also told her that im not happy here and i want to move..so she told me to go then...
if she thinks im bluffing she's a fucking idiot...ian and i have already basically planned it out..everything is ready except for a job lined up and of course school...
i would like to take the next semester off so i can chill out on it and work for a few months til ian and i get on our feet together and i get use to living with him, BUT, in THE GREAT state of north carolina (sarcasm) i cant do that....i have to go to full time school to be on my parents insurance (medical) and if i dont, then i gotta start paying for it (which i totally can't afford right now) and what sucks even worse is that my mom stated this after i said i plan on moving in january:
"Why are you waiting til then to move Tamara? OH, i get it, you are waiting til school is out so you can move between semesters, is that it? SO you must think that I'm just oging to keep paying for your school if you move up to Boone?"
so im under the impression that she's threatening me with that (not paying for my schooling) because she doesnt want me to move up there-which goes into, she thinks my relationship with ian is shit and always has been-which-if she sticks to what she threatended, she will then prove that she has no respect for my relationship....
i just wanted to tell her outright...."well, guess whtat? we are engaged! so how serious does that prove to you that we are?" but i didnt...i didnt want to hear the next big shpeal...i was already ready to explode!
SO, im going to my advisor tomorrow and calling Caldwell community col. to see what the deal is with them and when i can get in to take placement test...with my luck ill have to do it the weekend of that halloween party...ugh...at least id take the test first! -then party afterwards!
anyways, thats my situation right now..
just grand, isnt it?