Somedays are just good ranting days
I took a test today. I dont think I did as well as I would have hoped. I think I will get out of the class with a B unless I failed this past test. I don't even understand why I have to take tests. They should just look at me and say "Wow!! This kid is super smart and he doesen't need to take a stupid test". Of course this kind of first impression only exists in my dreams but hey I am allowed to dream. I guess that is why people enjoy their dreams so much. No one can ever really take them from you. It's kind of nice to think about. But thinking about all the other things that people can take from me kind of makes me sadder. I guess its a counter balance kind of thing. Maybe life really is a set of counter balances. I never believed it was but I guess there is always potential for life to just be a huge scale. When you get loaded with a bunch of crap then something comes along and lightens the load. When you feel as light as a feather then you get tons of more feathers falling on you until the weight slowly buries you. I just dont think I have the capacity to take this as all truth because there would be far too much paranoia when things are going well and depression is bound to develop when things are bad and don't get better. I still say life has to at least be partly due to chance and choices. I always tend to be very indecisive when making a decision. Lately I have gotten better with that because I have kind of been forced to. It's nice being assertive every now and then. I wonder if that is something that is innate or something that can be learned. The whole nature vs nurture argument again. Crazy stuff. I prefer to jump in the crowd of believers that believe in the compromise of both. I am such a politician, I just want to take both sides if I can. I don't think I could ever really be a politician. It just seems like they put up a huge front all the time and I am not one for putting up any kind of front. I dont like it at all. Yes humans are full of different faces and fronts but I do try to not use them as often as I can. I guess it kind of ties into my ever now and then bluntness and the habit of speaking without thinking about it first. I am trying not to work on them to much cause it is a little silly to try and change a personality trait of one's self. I am sure it can be done but it doesent seem all that fun. Besides there are far more fun and interesting things to do like go to the park, listen to music, and write things down that are interesting. Well i hope this has been an interesting rant for you. Sometimes I just have a bad habit of going off on tangents. Tests suck!!