holy fuck
i haven't been on in ages but i wrote something the other day i really wanna put on here. i think i'm gonna start using it a hell of a lot more often. anyways, some random thoughts.
dreams
so a few months ago, i had this really cool dream.
i was wondering through a suburban neighborhood and for some reason it all felt familiar, yet changed. like when you walk through a park you haven't walked through in a long time- the trees are all in the right place, but your favorite bench is gone, ya know?
so i was going through, and i got to kind of this forest/park place, and i found this library. and i recognized it. i remembered coming here in a dream a really, really long time ago. i think i had that dream when I was 10 or something. but it was really cool, and really sad at the same time- all the books looked the same and it still held that mystical, home-feeling that this library has always held for me, but it seemed like a park that had gotten overgrown. It was just older, and more worn, and there was dust and cobwebs everywhere, it was really weird.
but i walked through it, looking at all the books i looked at when i was a kid, and finding my old sneaky places that i used to hide in and the nooks and crannies that are quiet and in corners and are places where you can't be seen but you can just read and be safe and happy. thats what i love about older, huge libraries- all the places to run through and hide and stuff.
so anyways, i woke up, naturally, and I had an interesting thought. while i was in this dream place, i got the feeling that i was being remembered, too. like this place in my dreams didn't just randomly appear to me out of the blue, but that i had been going for a different dream altogether and this one wanted to snag me up and have a look at me. it felt like that moment when you see an aunt or uncle you haven't seen in years and they spend a few moments looking you over, noticing where you've filled out and gotten harder or more grown up, but at the same time you know they're still looking for the you that they knew, the one who bounced off walls and had crawled in their laps for hugs and stories. i felt like this place really existed, and not just to me, but to many others- and that every so often they liked to call us home and check in on us.
it was surreal, but really comforting.
dreams
so a few months ago, i had this really cool dream.
i was wondering through a suburban neighborhood and for some reason it all felt familiar, yet changed. like when you walk through a park you haven't walked through in a long time- the trees are all in the right place, but your favorite bench is gone, ya know?
so i was going through, and i got to kind of this forest/park place, and i found this library. and i recognized it. i remembered coming here in a dream a really, really long time ago. i think i had that dream when I was 10 or something. but it was really cool, and really sad at the same time- all the books looked the same and it still held that mystical, home-feeling that this library has always held for me, but it seemed like a park that had gotten overgrown. It was just older, and more worn, and there was dust and cobwebs everywhere, it was really weird.
but i walked through it, looking at all the books i looked at when i was a kid, and finding my old sneaky places that i used to hide in and the nooks and crannies that are quiet and in corners and are places where you can't be seen but you can just read and be safe and happy. thats what i love about older, huge libraries- all the places to run through and hide and stuff.
so anyways, i woke up, naturally, and I had an interesting thought. while i was in this dream place, i got the feeling that i was being remembered, too. like this place in my dreams didn't just randomly appear to me out of the blue, but that i had been going for a different dream altogether and this one wanted to snag me up and have a look at me. it felt like that moment when you see an aunt or uncle you haven't seen in years and they spend a few moments looking you over, noticing where you've filled out and gotten harder or more grown up, but at the same time you know they're still looking for the you that they knew, the one who bounced off walls and had crawled in their laps for hugs and stories. i felt like this place really existed, and not just to me, but to many others- and that every so often they liked to call us home and check in on us.
it was surreal, but really comforting.