a rare moment of down time

[greendaygrrl44]

so right now i have nothing immediate to do. yeah, i have a paper to write by thursday, need to read spanish, should go to the lab to work on italian, and work on seminar projects, but i just don't feel like it. i'm still thinking about fabulous new orleans and how if i'd lived there growing up i'd have gotten into a lot of trouble. i wish i could really explain what it meant to see the queen of new orleans on stage, singing her heart out in that rich jazzy and bluesy way. now i know the importance of having a robust set of lungs on ya. the french quarters were beautiful and i loved seeing the european style streets again. this trip really added some spice to my life, foodwise as well (mmm, filet mignon). not to mention the alcoholic drinks in a styrofoam to-go glass you could carry around the street. i'm glad i took some pictures and that joe and i have had one more great experience together. getting to pretend that i'm married for a week was interesting...i saw in many ways i could possibly make a great or horrible wife, and how joe could make a generous or irritating husband. what i do know is that i have purely realized what it takes to make a marriage work, and i've thought a lot about it. even though i don't know what's in the immediate future, i still know what i really want in the end. and i'm almost certain that its joe. he fits in so well with my family, and he knows me better than anyone else. the fact that i can cry in front of him is a big factor. i hate emotions in a certain way because growing up they were always rendered through tragedy and disappointment. but i guess its terrible to say always because there were moments when the fire inside my mother lit up the sky and we shared the most intense or relaxing moments. that's something else too, joe loves my mother. the fact that he respects her and hopes for the best for her just like i do make him seem like an angel. but i've always thought of him as an angel, even when we were young and watched over each other from a distance. i keep seeing him in the moment when i was eighteen and he was twenty-two. his smile and the beauty in his eyes have always provided the greatest comfort, then and now. i'm sure am going to miss him when i am gone. but i'll be back. he'll be here, and i'll come back.

i'm only slightly disappointed right now because we didn't perform out monologues in acting class today. i was ready and everything...but i wasn't about to be the only one to go! other than that, i'm fairly content. the weather isn't freezing, i got an A- on my seminar exam, i'm feeling better, and i don't feel very stressed. things are gonna change, i can feel it.