This one is totally Carla's fault.

[greenblackevil]

Last night I had a dream that Oscar Wilde and I went time-traveling with a Quantumn DisPlacatron 5000 that was piloted by a superintelligent dog and powered entirely by beer. And the kind of beer that one put in the time machine determined the time and place you were going. India Pale Ale? Ancient India. Bitters? Medeival England. Hefeweizen? 19th century Germany. Things hit a snag, however, when we put in a wheat-gluten heavy microbrew and landed smack dab in the middle of Frontier Utah. Where the Mormons were waiting for us. They didn't take kindly to our time-traveling, history-fucking, alcoholically delicious ways, so we had to hide out in the mid-20th century Budweiser brewery. Which only had Budweiser, which only led there! We were trapped. Trapped and doomed by Shitty American Beer! Oscar got drunk, the dog ran off, and the Mormons were closing in with their pepsi-powered time machines when I woke up.

Mormons, defenders of the Space-Time Continuum? No more late-night fish tacos for me.