(no subject)
I had a good weekend. Much needed break from Vermont, that's for sure. I LOVED seeing all the buildings and streets and billboards and dirtiness. lol. I will always always be a city kid no matter where I'm living or what I'm doing.
I was happy that I got to hang out with Christina, Chanda, and Lisa on Friday. I missed them, so it was good to just catch up and hang out face to face for a while. :)
On Saturday, it felt really good getting into Boston. I saw soo many people heading to Pride on the Lowell train. I didnt know any of them but it was still cool to know that we had something in common and were going to do the same thing. Pride really was a great time. The day was gorgeous: nice temp, bright sun. I got an awesome tan, and met a lot of amazing people. Random people wanted to take pics of my friends and I b/c Suazo was wearing a hilarious sign from her belt that said "I wanna ride your rainbow" so people wanted group pics of us and that sign. I thought it was funny. It was the first Pride for all four of us, which was exciting. I got a few decent pictures from my phone. We were looking for something to do at night, after we got a rest from the sun for a few hours and some food in our tummies (prices were too ridiculous to buy food at pride). I was on a mission, calling every club in the area, and they were all 21+! I was so bummed. What's the point of being over 18 if you STILL cant do anything? There was a femme night at a bar that we all really wanted to go to, but alas, there was nothing we could do about the rules. Instead, we stayed in at Suazo's, I had fun with a 3 month old baby boy (Suazo's nephew) and we watched a movie, and just talked for hours.
Zach called me during the movie, and I talked to him for 45 minutes, b/c he had a date the next day in NYC, and was incredibly nervous. It was so cute. I had to tell him what to wear from the shirt to the belt to the socks to the cologne - everything! While we were talking, I came up with this theory about how all girls want a gay man in their life, b/c theyre always full of advice on life, fashion, and boys. lol. So I told him those magic powers weren't allowed to be used on him b/c that just wouldn't be fair, so when he needs advice, I have to be his "gay man." I thought it was funny, and he calmed down enough to yell at me about making jokes while he was so nervous. hahaha. On Monday, we talked again, and as it turns out, his date was a success, and the boy he's been talking to for months is now his official boyfriend. Zach is such a nice dude, I'm so happy for him. He's def one of my favorite boys.
On Sunday, I spent the day with my sister Nikki, her best friend Michelle, and Michelle's four year old daughter Rayanna. I had an amazing time, b/c I missed my sis like crazy, and that little girl is always so great to be with. I havent seen her for 6 months, but as soon as she saw me, she tried wriggling out of her car seat, yelling Allllyyyyy. It totally made my day that she remembered me. My sis and Michelle caught up while we went out to lunch and hung out at Michelle's house, then Nikki's dad's house, and I just had a blast entertaining Rayanna. We played hide and seek, and tag, and I helped her build towers and houses with her dominoes. She's such a cutie. By Sunday, I was getting tired, but she just kept wanting to play cuz she hasnt seen me in so long, that I was more than happy to oblige. haha. Michelle and Rayanna went back to Michelle's house around 8:30 to put Rayanna to bed, and thats when me and my sis chatted about everything under the sun that's been going on. I'm so proud of her, and the fact that she's done a year of AA and completely turned her life around. Like seriously, I've never been more happy for her. :)
I woke up early Monday to go see a few of my high school teachers before I had to leave. I caught up with Daley for a few mins, then O'Neil saw me and kidnapped me to her room. lol. We talked for about 40 mins. It was great. I miss her so much, she's as crazy as ever and I love it! We'll def keep in touch for a while, it seems. I hope so. Then I went to see Ms.G for a little while. That was funny. Her sarcasm hasn't dulled down at all, and from what she's telling me, her baby daughter is exactly the same as her. haha. She's 19 months now, and Ms. G showed me a pic, she's just getting cuter. :) After that, I left the high school and spent a few hours visiting my mom while she took care of some errands. She had to get an ID, and do other such things. After like 2-3 hours, it was time for me and Mark to head to Boston so I could catch my 2 pm bus back to Vermont.
On the trip home, I had a lot of time to think about everything. It's hit me now that Lowell really doesn't seem to be my home anymore. Vermont's definitely not either, but I noticed that this last trip made me realize that Lowell simply isnt home anymore. Now it's the place to visit my friends and family, but it's not the place I belong. The city itself is, but.. I dont know. I'm not sure how to say it. I was mentioning this to Nicole this morning, and she got it, b/c she's been there before. She said that the trip home when you realize it's no longer your home is never a good one, but I disagreed on that part. I had a great weekend back, and somehow this revelation was okay with me. I was upset for a little while, but the more I think about it, the more okay with it I am. I feel like I'm growing up more, defintely. And in knowing that my hometown is no longer my home, I am realizing that I'm on some unwrittenpath right now. Completely free, completely decided by me, completely unknown. I won't be seeing the end of this road until I'm ready to settle, and find a place to call home, which will be a looong way away. But for now, I'm kind of just free-floating, going where my life takes me, and that thought gives me a little bit of serenity, even though it's also just a little bit scary. I never thought I would come to this point in my life so early, but it's here and I'm okay with it. :)
I was happy that I got to hang out with Christina, Chanda, and Lisa on Friday. I missed them, so it was good to just catch up and hang out face to face for a while. :)
On Saturday, it felt really good getting into Boston. I saw soo many people heading to Pride on the Lowell train. I didnt know any of them but it was still cool to know that we had something in common and were going to do the same thing. Pride really was a great time. The day was gorgeous: nice temp, bright sun. I got an awesome tan, and met a lot of amazing people. Random people wanted to take pics of my friends and I b/c Suazo was wearing a hilarious sign from her belt that said "I wanna ride your rainbow" so people wanted group pics of us and that sign. I thought it was funny. It was the first Pride for all four of us, which was exciting. I got a few decent pictures from my phone. We were looking for something to do at night, after we got a rest from the sun for a few hours and some food in our tummies (prices were too ridiculous to buy food at pride). I was on a mission, calling every club in the area, and they were all 21+! I was so bummed. What's the point of being over 18 if you STILL cant do anything? There was a femme night at a bar that we all really wanted to go to, but alas, there was nothing we could do about the rules. Instead, we stayed in at Suazo's, I had fun with a 3 month old baby boy (Suazo's nephew) and we watched a movie, and just talked for hours.
Zach called me during the movie, and I talked to him for 45 minutes, b/c he had a date the next day in NYC, and was incredibly nervous. It was so cute. I had to tell him what to wear from the shirt to the belt to the socks to the cologne - everything! While we were talking, I came up with this theory about how all girls want a gay man in their life, b/c theyre always full of advice on life, fashion, and boys. lol. So I told him those magic powers weren't allowed to be used on him b/c that just wouldn't be fair, so when he needs advice, I have to be his "gay man." I thought it was funny, and he calmed down enough to yell at me about making jokes while he was so nervous. hahaha. On Monday, we talked again, and as it turns out, his date was a success, and the boy he's been talking to for months is now his official boyfriend. Zach is such a nice dude, I'm so happy for him. He's def one of my favorite boys.
On Sunday, I spent the day with my sister Nikki, her best friend Michelle, and Michelle's four year old daughter Rayanna. I had an amazing time, b/c I missed my sis like crazy, and that little girl is always so great to be with. I havent seen her for 6 months, but as soon as she saw me, she tried wriggling out of her car seat, yelling Allllyyyyy. It totally made my day that she remembered me. My sis and Michelle caught up while we went out to lunch and hung out at Michelle's house, then Nikki's dad's house, and I just had a blast entertaining Rayanna. We played hide and seek, and tag, and I helped her build towers and houses with her dominoes. She's such a cutie. By Sunday, I was getting tired, but she just kept wanting to play cuz she hasnt seen me in so long, that I was more than happy to oblige. haha. Michelle and Rayanna went back to Michelle's house around 8:30 to put Rayanna to bed, and thats when me and my sis chatted about everything under the sun that's been going on. I'm so proud of her, and the fact that she's done a year of AA and completely turned her life around. Like seriously, I've never been more happy for her. :)
I woke up early Monday to go see a few of my high school teachers before I had to leave. I caught up with Daley for a few mins, then O'Neil saw me and kidnapped me to her room. lol. We talked for about 40 mins. It was great. I miss her so much, she's as crazy as ever and I love it! We'll def keep in touch for a while, it seems. I hope so. Then I went to see Ms.G for a little while. That was funny. Her sarcasm hasn't dulled down at all, and from what she's telling me, her baby daughter is exactly the same as her. haha. She's 19 months now, and Ms. G showed me a pic, she's just getting cuter. :) After that, I left the high school and spent a few hours visiting my mom while she took care of some errands. She had to get an ID, and do other such things. After like 2-3 hours, it was time for me and Mark to head to Boston so I could catch my 2 pm bus back to Vermont.
On the trip home, I had a lot of time to think about everything. It's hit me now that Lowell really doesn't seem to be my home anymore. Vermont's definitely not either, but I noticed that this last trip made me realize that Lowell simply isnt home anymore. Now it's the place to visit my friends and family, but it's not the place I belong. The city itself is, but.. I dont know. I'm not sure how to say it. I was mentioning this to Nicole this morning, and she got it, b/c she's been there before. She said that the trip home when you realize it's no longer your home is never a good one, but I disagreed on that part. I had a great weekend back, and somehow this revelation was okay with me. I was upset for a little while, but the more I think about it, the more okay with it I am. I feel like I'm growing up more, defintely. And in knowing that my hometown is no longer my home, I am realizing that I'm on some unwrittenpath right now. Completely free, completely decided by me, completely unknown. I won't be seeing the end of this road until I'm ready to settle, and find a place to call home, which will be a looong way away. But for now, I'm kind of just free-floating, going where my life takes me, and that thought gives me a little bit of serenity, even though it's also just a little bit scary. I never thought I would come to this point in my life so early, but it's here and I'm okay with it. :)