Pondering Visions
Tuesday I got all discouraged about the house buying thing - "what the hell do you think you are doing?" "with what money?" Those sorts of things kept coming up. I had a very practical discussion with M, in which he said getting a condo for a few years might be a good way to go, that most people don't buy their dream house right out of the gate and I could sell and move a few years down the road. My initial response was that I would like to live in Portland and not have neighbors above and below any longer. Then I realized that I would be excited about a condo also, even if a real house is more exciting. I would have a real kitchen and a gas stove and hopefully a fire place.
Later that day I was telling my mother some of the thoughts and conversation. She called me back an hour later to tell me to dream big, that if I am putting the dream out there, to include everything that I could possibly want in the initial planning, the retreat center, everything, because it is possible the universe might decide to bring it to me. I think that I really needed to hear that. The whole house thing feels a bit surreal and out of reach at times.
I found myself thinking that my description of my house portion of that might not be very different. But then it occurred to me that my daydream place is always a tower. Then I realized that there is never anyone in the tower with me. It is always just me, living alone or with my cats. It makes me wonder what that means. Why is there never anyone in the tower with me? I guess on some levels, I want a house with a tower, so that I can have all sorts of shared space with people, and have my own space to retreat to. My own magical sanctuary.
Sefora's house in Oakland always sort of calls to me, as does Awakenings Wellness Center, and New Renaissance Books, and Common Grounds. So what does it look like, if I have the dream? I have my own personal space. I have a retreat center space. But is it in town, or is it in the country? How much land in town would be required to have a retreat space with lots of trees that is also easy to get to for people?
Later that day I was telling my mother some of the thoughts and conversation. She called me back an hour later to tell me to dream big, that if I am putting the dream out there, to include everything that I could possibly want in the initial planning, the retreat center, everything, because it is possible the universe might decide to bring it to me. I think that I really needed to hear that. The whole house thing feels a bit surreal and out of reach at times.
I found myself thinking that my description of my house portion of that might not be very different. But then it occurred to me that my daydream place is always a tower. Then I realized that there is never anyone in the tower with me. It is always just me, living alone or with my cats. It makes me wonder what that means. Why is there never anyone in the tower with me? I guess on some levels, I want a house with a tower, so that I can have all sorts of shared space with people, and have my own space to retreat to. My own magical sanctuary.
Sefora's house in Oakland always sort of calls to me, as does Awakenings Wellness Center, and New Renaissance Books, and Common Grounds. So what does it look like, if I have the dream? I have my own personal space. I have a retreat center space. But is it in town, or is it in the country? How much land in town would be required to have a retreat space with lots of trees that is also easy to get to for people?