a dinner party to remember
on this particular evening, i had the most pleasant of dinner parties! i invited all of my debutante friends, my driver wilhelm, my invisible companion hughbert, and several high-society gentlemen whose fortunes i frequently laugh at from atop my mighty estate.
i was entertaining guests at said party when a noticeably attractive woman happened to breeze by. i leaned over and queried of hughbert, "who is that magnificent vixen?" hughbert had never seen the woman before, so i decided to strike up a conversation with the remarkable beauty.
"hello," i said as i sauntered over to where she was standing. she greeted me with the most delicate of smiles, covering her teeth when she did so, as a true lady is supposed to do. i inquired as to the vixen's name, but before she could reply, a small scale-model biplane with dimensions of about two feet by one foot landed inbetween us. from out of the cockpit of this model plane came a miniature man, no bigger than four inches tall. his clothing was reminicient of the red baron, complete with scarf, flight jacket, and World War II goggles/helmet.
"stop flirting with my wife!" shouted the little man in a mouse-like voice. apparently the woman i had found myself so smitten with was in wedlock with this most miniature of pilots. i looked back up at the lady, and found that she was looking quite embarrassed. glancing back down at the tiny man, i inqueried as to his unusual stature.
"i apologize for my advances toward your beautiful wife," i replied, trying to maintain my dignity, "but i must inquire as to why a four-inch WWII pilot such as yourself would marry a normal-proportioned woman like your wife here."
the little man, in the most flagrant display of sass since Rutherford B. Cole's 1967 rendition of "Sweet Kentucky Blues", retorted by triumphantly proclaiming, "because i make her feel like a woman, that's why!"
seeing that i had upset this most littlest of pilots, i decided to let he and his beautiful wife be. but then suddenly a passing guest on his way to the bar accidentally stepped on the tiny man, killing him instantly. the guest didn't even notice that he had smashed the tiny man. he simply continued to the bar, where he ordered a drink for himself.
"oh my word!" i exclaimed as i stared down at the flattened WWII pilot, "that careless fellow just crushed your husband!"
instead of becoming upset, as most women would do in her position, the beautiful vixen simply shrugged. "i did not really like him anyways," she said, her voice flowing to my ears like a gentle breeze.
"oh well in that case, allow me to get you a drink," i stated in my most gentlemanly of demeanors. the woman accepted my offer and the two of us spent the rest of the evening chatting about social and political issues. she turned out to be one of the most enchanting members of the opposite sex i have met in some time!
i was entertaining guests at said party when a noticeably attractive woman happened to breeze by. i leaned over and queried of hughbert, "who is that magnificent vixen?" hughbert had never seen the woman before, so i decided to strike up a conversation with the remarkable beauty.
"hello," i said as i sauntered over to where she was standing. she greeted me with the most delicate of smiles, covering her teeth when she did so, as a true lady is supposed to do. i inquired as to the vixen's name, but before she could reply, a small scale-model biplane with dimensions of about two feet by one foot landed inbetween us. from out of the cockpit of this model plane came a miniature man, no bigger than four inches tall. his clothing was reminicient of the red baron, complete with scarf, flight jacket, and World War II goggles/helmet.
"stop flirting with my wife!" shouted the little man in a mouse-like voice. apparently the woman i had found myself so smitten with was in wedlock with this most miniature of pilots. i looked back up at the lady, and found that she was looking quite embarrassed. glancing back down at the tiny man, i inqueried as to his unusual stature.
"i apologize for my advances toward your beautiful wife," i replied, trying to maintain my dignity, "but i must inquire as to why a four-inch WWII pilot such as yourself would marry a normal-proportioned woman like your wife here."
the little man, in the most flagrant display of sass since Rutherford B. Cole's 1967 rendition of "Sweet Kentucky Blues", retorted by triumphantly proclaiming, "because i make her feel like a woman, that's why!"
seeing that i had upset this most littlest of pilots, i decided to let he and his beautiful wife be. but then suddenly a passing guest on his way to the bar accidentally stepped on the tiny man, killing him instantly. the guest didn't even notice that he had smashed the tiny man. he simply continued to the bar, where he ordered a drink for himself.
"oh my word!" i exclaimed as i stared down at the flattened WWII pilot, "that careless fellow just crushed your husband!"
instead of becoming upset, as most women would do in her position, the beautiful vixen simply shrugged. "i did not really like him anyways," she said, her voice flowing to my ears like a gentle breeze.
"oh well in that case, allow me to get you a drink," i stated in my most gentlemanly of demeanors. the woman accepted my offer and the two of us spent the rest of the evening chatting about social and political issues. she turned out to be one of the most enchanting members of the opposite sex i have met in some time!