Breathing For This /// First Song: Wake Up Call

[green_feelings]

banner byai_ak ♥

Title: Breathing For This
Pairing: Akanishi Jin x Kazuya Kamenashi //Akame//
Genre: Romance, AU
Rating: PG-13 so far.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I don't make profit with this.
Summary: Actually, Jin had been happy and getting the job of his dreams, his life couldn't be any more perfect. That is, however, until he finds his boyfriend cheating on him - and his world crumbles. Even more so, when his no collegue at work is a person Jin had hoped to never meet again.
Warnings: Kazuya being over the top cheeky and cocky.
A/N: English isn't my mother tongue, but I lived in the UK for quite a time, so I basically write and speak well. You're welcome to correct any mistakes, though. Of course.

So, mates, you guessed it probably, but we are on another multichap here. Thank you SO much for the huge response that first part got. Treat it as an Prologue to a story that kicks off with this.
The concept for this might get obvious already: a song for every chapter. And it's either Kame or Jin choosing them for each other, so stay tuned for their conversations through songs... they'll have a lot of those throughout this fanfic :)

Also, on another note, a HUGE thank you toai_ak who just came up with lovely banners for this fic. Oh my, I died a littel, it's so buzzing and they are all wonderful. I decided for this one as my banner for this fic. Lovely girl, you are amazing, once again, THANK YOU so much. ♥

Enjoy it ♥


First Song: Wake Up Call

"He's younger than me", Jin pointed out and dropped down to the couch.

Ryo lifted a brow and looked at Jin from the armchair he was sitting in. "What?"

Jin rolled to his back and pressed a cushion to his face, kicking his feet and releasing a moan that was muffled by the fabric.

Frowning, Ryo just shook his head and directed his attention back to the TV.

"He's younger than me", Jin repeated after a while and curled up.

"You know", Ryo said, without tearing his eyes from the TV screen. "I had expected a different reaction after your first day of work."

"Me, too", Jin mumbled. "I thought it would be all great and amazing and that my show would be so much fun."

"And it wasn't?"

"Well, the show was", Jin clarified. "But, there's this guy, airing his show right before mine."

Now, Ryo looked at him. "That Kamenashi Kazuya guy? Sexy voice. I take it the rest of him is just as sexy?"

Jin threw the cushion at Ryo, glaring. "It's him, Ryo. He's the guy I found in Tomo's bed that day."

Blinking his eyes, Ryo sat up. "Are you serious?"

Jin just nodded.

"How awkward. Did he... I mean, did he recognise you, too?"

Jin lowered his look, curled up even more. "He did. And he didn't seem awkward, at all. While I couldn't get out a single word."

Ryo frowned, lowering the volume of the TV. "What? Did he act like nothing ever happened?"

"No, he acted like it did happen, but that it wasn't... like, a big deal?" Jin groaned and rolled over, covering his face in his hands, as the cushion was gone. "He just commented on it briefly and then watched me working."

For a while, Ryo was quiet. "So, he doesn't seem to resent anything. Is he, well... are him and Pi still together?"

"How would I know?" Jin looked at the ceiling, his breath even, his eyes tired. "I have no idea, but just imagining that they might be, makes it even worse."

"He's younger, you said?"

"He's younger than me and he's..." Jin closed his eyes, cursed.

"So, he's as hot as his voice sounds."

Jin threw Ryo a glare and got up. "I'm going to bed. I don't want to think of it anymore."

"As if you wouldn't think about it, when you lie in bed, with the lights turned off and nothing to distract you", Ryo commented.

Jin pouted, as stopped and turned to Ryo. "You could distract me."

"There's some good drama on telly right now, if you'd like to join me here."

"Ryo", Jin just said.

"No chance, buddy. You didn't have sex with me, when you started your relationship with Pi; so I won't sleep with you now that I am in a relationship."

Jin groaned. "Are you a saint? You haven't been dating for that long yet."

Ryo just grinned and waved Jin over. "Come here; I can cuddle you in."

For a moment, Jin just glared at him, but eventually, he shuffled over and slid into Ryo's lap, nuzzling close.

"You're texting something dirty there, aren't you?"

"I'd call it saucy", Kazuya replied, as he looked up to Tatsuya who took the seat across from him at the table.

He was having lunch, before he would use one of the offices upstairs to plan out next week's shows. This week was all set and planned and he only needed to be in the studio later and do what he did best - talk.

Tatsuya lifted a brow and shook his head. "Yuya?"

Kazuya grinned and shrugged a shoulder, as he put his mobile away. "He's a bit too young and... well, we're too similar, that just wouldn't go well. It's someone I picked up last week, when we've been out."

"Do I want details", Tatsuya asked with a frown.

"His name is Tomohisa. Quite an old-fashioned name, isn't it?" Kazuya took another bite of his meat. "But he's gorgeous and pretty fit."

"Talking about fit people", Tatsuya added and lifted a brow. "I am rather surprised no one's found you molesting that new guy yet. He is rather fit."

Kazuya gave him a cheeky smile. "He is. There's a problem, though."

"What? He's straight? That's never been a problem for you, Speed Racer."

Laughing, Kazuya shook his head. "No, the problem is, we met before."

"So, he already knows what kind of problem you are."

"Well", Kazuya answered and licked his lips, thinking of Jin. "He kind of figured it, yes."

"Speaking of the devil", Tatsuya said and glanced past Kazuya. "Aw, he looks like a lost puppy. Shall I wave him over?"

Kazuya didn't even bother to turn. "Sure."

Tatsuya raised his hand slightly and caught Jin's attention, waving him over to their table. "It's a bit like in high school", he whispered to Kazuya with a mischievous grin. Jin hesitated for a bit, but then, made his way over and sat down next to Kazuya.

"Nice to meet you again, Akanishi", Tatsuya said with a kind smile. "How are things going?"

Jin put on a smile, too and shrugged slightly. "I'm almost completely sure that I don't want to have this conversation, so get to the point."

Kazuya's jaw dropped for a second and Tatsuya just stared at Jin, trying to get back on track. "Did I say or do anything to insult you?"

Jin took a bite of his sandwich and lowered his look, pretending to be ever so occupied with his meal. "It's not about you. But your buddy here did quite a bit to offend and insult me."

Tatsuya threw a look at Kazuya and narrowed his eyes. "He did?"

"I take it you haven't heard the story", Jin concluded and dropped his sandwich, suddenly not all that hungry anymore. "And, honestly, I'd rather not be the one to spill the word."

"Everyone here knows about Kame", Tatsuya clarified. "Everyone's aware of him being a manwhore, so you wouldn't spill anything new."

"Just a friendly reminder that I'm sitting right next to you guys", Kazuya butted in. "And it's hurting my feelings."

Jin didn't even glance at him, while Tatsuya lifted a brow solemnly.

"So, okay, if our cupcake here doesn't want to spill the beans, it's up to me, I guess."

Jin threw him a keen look. "Don't you dare."

Kazuya smirked and leaned back in his chair. "Oh, are you embarrassed?" He moved his spoon through his coffee, slow, circling movements of his wrist, while he observed Jin. "'Cause, honestly, if I were you, I'd be so embarrassed."

"Shut the fuck up."

Tatsuya looked from one to the other and leaned in, eyes curious. "So, I take it you guys had sex?"

Kazuya's hand stopped and the smirk formed into an amused grin. Jin choked on his sandwich and blushed. Why the hell couldn't he stop himself from blushing?

"Well, not precisely." Kazuya sipped his coffee. "But I've been sleeping with his boyfriend for a while now."

Jin felt it tug, tug so hard on his nerves, on his veins, on every single fibre of his body and it hurt; every second hurt to know just how humiliating this was.

Tatsuya gasped slightly and stared at Kazuya speechlessly.

"So, me and this lovely cupcake here met before", Kazuya added, "when he caught us in bed last Friday morning."

It broke. Jin felt it breaking inside him and a pounding, throbbing wound ripped open, cracked and blood spilled. Hot and furious and it rushed through his body, making him go numb to the pain.

Tatsuya didn't say a thing, just silently watched Jin shiver and even Kazuya seemed a little taken aback, as a tremble jolted through Jin's body. He swallowed thickly and it took all of his self-esteem to calmly get up and leave the table without a single word.

"You went too far there", Tatsuya commented silently.

Kazuya pressed his lips together for a moment, as he looked after Jin, watched him leaving. He knew he had, but being like that was just his second nature.

He had not really felt sorry for Jin up until now, but it made Kazuya realise that probably for Jin, all this was quite a big deal.

He raised a brow and changed the topic, trying to push the thoughts of Jin aside.

"Welcome to tonight's Gunsmoke with Akanishi Jin on Chaos Radio. I'm glad you tuned in, or rather, didn't tune out after all the cheesy and colourful pop Kamenashi just put you through. We kick off with a personal favourite of mine; another song that you guys probably never heard on the radio. Here's Sweet Savage with Killing Time."

Jin pressed play, switched off the microphone and put the next song to his playlist, before he took off the headphones.

"It's not like people don't like to listen to my show, you know", Kazuya commented, as he put his things together.

Jin shrugged. "Do you have any other listeners than average 13-year-old girls?"

"From what I get sent into my Spill It bits, I'd say they are older." Kazuya put on a smirk. "At least their problems sound like they were older."

Raising a brow, Jin leaned back, scribbled something onto the paper in front of him. "And you give them the best of advice. Also, you don't really think 'NSYNC songs will make those girls feel better?"

"Of course it will. It's what they want to hear from a man."

"Those men haven't written the lyrics themselves, even." Jin pulled a face. "It's just fake."

"It's good music."

"Says the guy who is into Britney Spears", Jin comments. "That says it all."

"Well, Cupcake", Kazuya answered dryly. "We'll talk about that again when you play actual music and not just random strings of sounds."

"That's self-made music", Jin protested.

"And look how far their abilities got them. I'll call it music once there are melodies involved and it's possible to distinguish guitars and drums. For the song playing just now that is not the case." Kazuya snorted. "Actually, none of your songs so far."

"Well, then, do you even play a single artist in your show that's not mainstream?"

"There are plenty mainstream bands writing their own songs", Kazuya argued.

Jin rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, I forgot", he added, "Maroon Five might be what you consider Rock music."

Kazuya held back a comment on how they had developed away from Rock lately and just shrugged. "I do, at least, consider their stuff music."

"You have no clue", Jin answered and put the headphones back on, turning to the microphone. "That was Linkin' Park with In Between from their 2007 album Minutes to Midnight. This song definitely would have been good material for a release; pretty nice lyrics. So, as it didn't make it, it's featured here instead, because you guys should not miss out on that song in your lives."

When Jin put in the next song and switched off the microphone after a bit more of talking, he turned his head and saw that Kazuya had disappeared.

Kazuya shuffled into his flat and closed the door behind himself. He went into the kitchen, dropped his bag the same second he opened the fridge.

Pulling a beer, he reached out to switch on the radio and heard Jin's smooth voice spill out of the speakers and filling the silence of the kitchen.

"This is a song that had been released back in 2009. It's actually from the rather calm lane. I figured you guys would like to listen to some chill music", Jin said and Kazuya had to grin. "This is When The Moon Met The Sun from Panic at the Disco's album Pretty Odd."

It was a pity that he didn't have Jin's number, Kazuya thought now and leaned against the wall next to him, while he listened to the song.

He would have texted Jin that it was, indeed, a nice song.

Well, he was just hanging around
Then he fell in love and he didn't know how
But he couldn't get out
Just hanging around then he fell in love...

Kazuya smirked even more now and thought that he had to tease Jin next time for the sappy lyrics.

As the song finished, Kazuya got out his mobile and looked through the contacts, before he called Tomohisa.

"Hey pretty boy", Kazuya greeted him. "I was wondering if I could grace your existence with my presence tonight." He listened for a moment. "When you say a date night in, does that include a dinner and a movie that resolves in some making out on your couch and sex afterwards?"

Tomohisa laughed gently and Kazuya thought that the sound was really nice. It wasn't like he was in love - Kazuya did not fall in love -, but Tomohisa was good company for him. They were alike; they both just wanted a loose relationship, no strings attached.

"I'll see you in twenty", Kazuya said and hung up, before he quickly got changed and finished the can of beer.

Jin was still chatting away, as he got into his car for the short ride to Tomohisa's flat. He talked about bands and their history, about songs that hadn't made it to be released, but should get their airing time anyways. Kazuya actually liked a few of the songs, realised that not all the stuff Jin played was rubbish.

Although, it wasn't very catchy and Kazuya did have a thing for catchy things. Like Jin's curly hair. He had noticed that some days, when Jin apparently didn't put any effort, his hair would fall in smooth, wild curls around his face to tip his shoulders.

Combined with a pretty face and a fit body, Kazuya called exactly that catchy.

He was torn from his thoughts when he saw Yamashita round a corner and pulled over. He stopped and saw the confused expression on Tomohisa's face, before he recognised Kazuya and climbed into the Rover.

"A wild Tomohisa appeared", Kazuya commented and leaned in to pull Tomohisa in for a kiss. "Catch it!"

Tomohisa laughed and returned the chaste kiss. "You're early", he commented and leaned back in his seat. "I got some food."

Kazuya eyed the bags in Tomohisa's lap and raised a brow. "Are we actually getting around to eat?"

"I hope so, I'm starving", Tomohisa answered and turned the music louder. "Oh, I never heard this play on radio before. I love that song."

Raising a brow, Kazuya pulled into the lane to Tomohisa's apartment building and listened to the song for a moment. "Tell me."

Tomohisa tilted his head. "What? What's that tone about?"

Kazuya stopped the car and switched off the radio, giving Tomohisa a smile. "I'm just somehow not really surprised one of your favourite songs is played on radio tonight."

Tomohisa just looked confused and Kazuya pulled him in for another kiss.

"Let's see how far we dare going in a car tonight", he commented lowly and slipped his hand beneath the fabric of Tomohisa's shirt, giving the starting shot.

Jin got out of shower, when Kazuya's show started.

It wasn't like he wanted to listen to Pop It Up, after all, he didn't really like the show, but since he started working on Chaos Radio, he felt bad if he didn't listen to it, too. And Jin didn't just listen to Kazuya's show, after all; he listened to the morning programmes, too.

Kazuya chatted away, as he always did, in a light tone, with all the cheeky comments thrown in, sassy statements on some celebrities' outfits on a show yesterday night. Then, he played an old Backstreet Boys song and Jin thought that it just suited so well. It gave him a feeling of agony.

"Well, I could be in a boy band, too", he said just now, as Jin got dressed for work. "I'd be the funny one, because that's one of the stereotypes. The funny one, the baby, the nice one. And the bad boy. Reminds me, there's someone I know who would pull the bad boy just perfectly. Anyway, send in some mails, telling me what stereotype in a boy band you'd be. Or girl band, if you prefer that. Speaking of girl bands, Girls Allowed are back. Hallelujah, we just love when good girl bands make a comeback, don't we? So, have a listen to their new single, lads. I know you just love that sexy stuff as much as I do."

Jin found himself grinning, as he thought that if he could be in the studio now, he would definitely make a comment on the mighty "we". Or, if he had Kazuya's number...

Jin frowned and looked at his face in the mirror.

What was he thinking? What was that trail of thoughts just now? Did he really grin at something Kazuya had said?

That guy was evil. He had ruined Jin's life and Jin should feel nothing but hate for him.

Still, Jin thought and pulled the shirt over his head, if they hadn't met the way they had met, he would have liked Kazuya. Kazuya was the type of person he would have become friends with instantly.

This way, there was no way for a friendship. Kazuya was a tease by nature and he would make fun of Jin for the rest of their lives. or at least for the rest of the time they'd be working together.

Sighing, he closed his jeans and made his way back to the kitchen, preparing some dinner, before he'd go to work.

Ryo wasn't home yet and Jin always felt a little lonely, when he had to have dinner all by himself, but he could cope with it. Ryo would be home, when Jin would come back from the studio and they'd be lurking on the couch, watching some TV programme and talking about the day.

That's what his life was like now and Jin didn't like it too bad. It was the closest to a relationship he could muster and even though thinking of him and Ryo in an actual relationship felt strange, it was the only thing Jin could compare them to. However, Jin was aware of how different they were from normal friends.

The way they behaved wasn't typical for friends. This was not really platonic.

"Oh, those last few lines of that song are really lovely, don't you think? That was Rhianna with California King Bed, one of my personal favourites. We'll come to Spill It in a few minutes, lads, and I know just how excited you are. I'm not all that much - but, well, I know what's coming. Before that, I have a personal little dedication to make today. This goes out to a lad who would probably love to listen to this song non-stop, all day, but can't, because he has an awful taste in music. No offend, Cupcake. This is Maroon Five, Wake Up Call."

Jin stood like frozen at the stove, the vegetables he had put into the pan were sizzling, turning a brown colour. The song played through the speakers of the radio and Jin thought he'd heard it all wrong, but it was there and it played and Kazuya had announced it over national radio.

This was not true, Jin thought and closed his eyes.

Why, the hell, did that song fit so perfectly? Why did it make sense? Why did it just describe the whole situation so well?

Why hadn't he shot down Kazuya the moment he had found him in Tomohisa's bed?

Jin groaned and turned off the stove, suddenly not all that hungry anymore. He turned and gripped his mobile and wallet, before he headed straight out the flat and to his car.

He left the radio switched off, just in case Kazuya had a few more of those songs prepared. The traffic was slow and Jin felt it built up in himself, as he finally pulled to a stop at the car park of the studios. He dashed inside and up to the floor of their studios.

Kazuya was reading out a mail, as Jin came in, cheeks flushed, hair a little messed up, curly and wild, his eyes looking furious.

Kazuya didn't even turn. he just finished reading the letter and gave his answer, before he announced the next song and put it on play. Then, he turned to Jin.

"Just why can't you stop humiliating me?"

Blinking his eyes, Kazuya sipped from his coffee. "Uhm, wow", he commented. "Did you really come here because of that?"

"I'm working", Jin reminded him through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, in about forty-five minutes." Kazuya tilted his head, lifted a brow.

"Why do you have to do that?" Jin threw his hands up, lowered them again. "Isn't it enough for you to actually take my boyfriend from me? Do you still have to tell the whole nation that I got cheated on?"

"Calm, mate", Kazuya said and shrugged. "I didn't say your name, did I?"

"Why", Jin just demanded again. "Why, the fuck, did you do that?"

Kazuya sighed and turned back to his laptop. He had felt sorry. He still felt sorry. Jin was such a sweet guy and something had clicked in Kazuya, something had just made click and then, he had felt that he liked Jin and if it all wasn't that fucked up, he knew, he just knew it so well - he and Jin would have become the best of friends.

"I just randomly heard the song earlier today and thought how fitting it was", Kazuya answered. "Well, not for me. But sure it fits for you."

Jin felt the throbbing pain in his chest build up again and he took a deep breath, but instead, it just came out as a trembling inhaling of air, which he almost choked on. "How nice of you", he spitted out. "Thank you for making the effort to remind me."

Kazuya felt pretty bad and since he knew that things with Jin were lost, anyway, he didn't even make an attempt to try and save any of it. there was nothing to save. He and Jin had been rivals, enemies, from the very first second they had met.

What a pity they could not have met under different circumstances, Kazuya thought and turned back to Jin, after he had put in the next song. "Get over it, Cupcake. You're fit enough to find yourself someone new."

Jin just snorted and made an annoyed face, as he shook his head. "How could he even fall for you? You're so full of yourself and..."

"I have all the good reasons to be ull of myself", Kazuya barged in and winked.

"Disgusting", Jin just commented and turned to walk out again.

Kazuya looked after him for a moment, before he switched the microphone back on and fiddled with his playlist.

"Some cheerful and happy Carly Rae Jepsen and I personally wouldn't call her, not even maybe", Kazuya said with a smile in his voice. That's what he was always capable of. Making cocky jokes, pretending to be funny. "But, well, never say never, we all make mistakes when drunk and wasted and desperate", he added. "Moving on, we should listen to something more serious, don't you lads think?"

Jin stood at the other side of the door and listened to him and hated himself for being so vulnerable, for not getting over the fact that Tomohisa had cheated on him and even worse that he just really liked Kazuya. But they would both have to pay for what they had done to him. Tomohisa for cheating on him, for being the damn prick he had been behind Jin's back and Kazuya for being an insensitive jerk.

Kazuya would not get away with that.

There was no way he could, Jin thought, as that song replayed in his head.

He would, Jin promised himself, he would - for God's sake - shoot him dead and only then would he feel better again.

Because, they both, indeed, deserved it.
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Listen to the song here.

Thanks so much for reading ♥