Make You Mine /// Thirteenth Lie: I Won't
Title: Make You Mine
Pairing: Akanishi Jin x Kazuya Kamenashi //Akame//
Genre: Romance, AU
Rating: PG-13 and up.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I don't make profit with this.
Summary: The first impression counts and Kazuya's first impression of Jin is not the best. However, Jin is determined to get to know Kazuya - and Kazuya makes up a few lies, which suddenly become huge... And then, the tide is turning.
A/N: English isn't my mother tongue, but I've been living in the UK for quite a time, so I basically write and speak well. You're welcome to correct any mistakes, though. Of course.
Now, you guys are just so very amazing ♥ Thanks a lot for everyone who's always stopping by to read and leave me nice comments. Please enjoy it :) ♥
Previous Chapters:
First Lie: Who am I?
Second Lie: Find Me
Third Lie: Exposed
Fourth Lie: On Repeat
Fifth Lie: More of You
Sixth Lie: Not My Fault
Seventh Lie: Out of Reach
Eighth Lie: Leaving You
Ninth Lie: Hold On
Tenth Lie: Secret
Eleventh Lie: Broken Lovers
Twelfth Lie: Worry About You
Thirteenth Lie: I Won't
"I’m home”, Kazuya mumbled, as he opened up the door to his flat. He had his laptop case in one hand and his mail in the other, so he just kicked the door closed.
No one answered, but Vanilla came from his kitchen and greeted him by rubbing his head against Kazuya’s leg.
Kazuya smiled and put down his laptop case on his couch, before he took his mail to the kitchen and opened the fridge to take a bottle of water. Checking the contents of his fridge, he frowned and closed it again.
“Should I cook something”, he asked, as he turned back to Vanilla, who had followed him.
The past days had been pretty intense. A lot was going on and Kazuya felt confused by his own feelings.
He was with Kensaku now - they weren’t really a couple yet, but it was obvious that they had something g going on.
However, he couldn’t stop thinking of Jin.
What Jin had said that evening, that he would worry about Kazuya, didn’t leave his mind.
Why would Jin worry for him? Why was Jin saying affectionate things when he thought Kazuya wasn’t listening? After all, he had dumped Kazuya without second thoughts.
And then, there was Natsuki. She was amazingly cute and Jin raised her well. Kazuya had found out so much in that one afternoon.
She had told him about her nanny, a girl named Eri who took her to school and stayed with her, until Jin would come home. He had gotten to know about her preschool and her friends.
She was a kid like any other, living a pretty normal childhood.
However, Jin kept her secret from everyone he knew.
Kazuya bit his lip, as he sipped his water and stared out of his kitchen window.
How could someone who adored his child that much keep her from everyone? Why didn’t Jin want anyone to know about her? After all, she didn’t do anything wrong, she wasn’t anyone Jin should be ashamed of.
Kazuya shook his head and turned to start making some dinner.
He put some rice into a cooker and then, took his mail again to go through it. Reading bills, he yawned and ran a hand through his hair, before a simple letter without any address on caught his attention.
Kazuya opened it slowly and got out a bunch of photos.
The one on top showed himself with Jin in front of the hotel, walking next to each other. Kazuya could remember that day - they had gone to a meeting together. Kazuya looked at the ground, while Jin had turned his head slightly and watched Kazuya’s face.
The next one showed them in the back office of reception at the hotel. Someone had taken the photo from outside and it was a little blurry, but Kazuya could make out himself sitting over some papers, while Jin was at the other end of the room at a desk, staring over to him.
Kazuya frowned. He hadn’t known Jin was observing him like that, when he wasn’t looking.
More photos followed that showed them together, before the last one surfaced and made Kazuya drop all of them.
It showed him carrying Natsuki from the car through one of the back entries of the hotel.
Kazuya stared at the mess of photos lying to his feet now and felt his heart pounding loudly in his ears. He felt every beat and he knew, without a single word being attached to the photos that this was another threat.
Whoever had been sending those threats, wasn’t satisfied with them having broken up. Because, Jin was still looking like that at Kazuya; because they were still spending time together.
Because Jin still trusted Kazuya.
Taking a deep breath, Kazuya turned and got out his mobile from his coat. He couldn’t keep this from Jin any longer. Not if Natsuki could be in danger, too.
About to dial in Jin’s number, Kazuya raised his head and looked through the room. It was almost dark outside and the neighbourhood was quiet. He moved over and closed the curtains; shuddered, as he felt unobserved.
“What’s wrong?” Jin’s voice sounded irritated, as he picked up.
“I’m sorry to call you this late. It’s just…” Kazuya swallowed. “I need to talk to you.”
Jin hesitated for a moment. “Okay, sure. What is it?”
“I can’t explain. I have something I need to show you.”
“Well, bring it to the hotel tomorrow.”
Kazuya closed his eyes and ran a hand over his temple. “You should see it right now.”
“Kazuya”, Jin said calmly. “What happened?”
“I don’t know”, Kazuya murmured and sat down. “I really don’t know. We broke up and yet, you just don’t stop looking at me.”
For a moment, Jin didn’t say anything. “What is this call about?”
“I’m coming over”, Kazuya just said. “I’ll be there in twenty.”
He didn’t wait for Jin’s answer before he hung up.
When he arrived at Jin’s place, it was already dark and the door opened, before Kazuya had even reached it.
“Okay, could you please explain this to me?” Jin crossed his arms, as Kazuya stood in front of him. “You’ve been ignoring me for a week, haven’t talked to me, unless it was necessary and now, you show up here?”
“It’s important, Jin.” Kazuya tried to keep down his voice. “Is your wife home?”
Jin raised a brow. “I’m not going to…”
“She is threatening me”, Kazuya said. “I’d like to talk to her myself.”
Now, Jin fell silent and he stared and Kazuya, his expression surprised.
“Kazuya-san!” Natsuki came into the hall and beamed at him. “You came to visit again!”
She hurried over and gripped Kazuya’s hand. “You can meet Mi-chan and the others now.”
Kazuya put on a smile and got to his knees to look at her. “I need to talk to your father for a few minutes. But I’ll have a look at them afterwards, okay?”
“Natsuki”, Jin said and pointed at the stairs. “Didn’t we agree that you would get ready for bed?”
“I will!” She leaned in to Kazuya and brought her lips close to his ear. “You have to knock, before you come in, okay?”
Kazuya smiled and squeezed her hand slightly. “Sure.”
She turned and hurried up the stairs.
Jin pointed at the door to the living room and let Kazuya go ahead. “So, you think my wife is threatening you?”
Kazuya stepped into the huge living room and had a look around. All furniture was clean and yet, looked used. There was a huge couch beneath the window and it looked like someone had been comfortably lying there just until a few minutes ago. The curtains were crème-white and the frame dark brown. The table in front of the couch had the same colour. A few toys were spread over the carpet, the TV was on, airing a news programme.
This was different from Jin’s flat, Kazuya thought. This was a home, a real home.
Kazuya got out the envelope from his pocket and handed it to Jin. The sticky note from the hotel room was on top.
“It’s been going on for a while.” Kazuya shrugged. “Ever since that break-in into my flat.”
Jin frowned at the sticky note, before he opened the envelope.
“It’s definitely connected”, Kazuya explained. “I got a call, after we started dating. When I started living in the suite. They said I couldn’t possibly hide and that I don’t deserve you.”
Jin’s look shot up. “Why didn’t you say a word?”
Kazuya shrugged. “I didn’t get another call and… I don’t know. I wanted to, after I found that sticky note about the ring in the suite. I wanted to tell you, but, when I came here…”
Jin lowered his look and got out the photos, looking through them.
“I wouldn’t have told you”, Kazuya murmured. “But… that last picture worries me.”
Frowning, Jin shuffled through them, before he found the last one and his eyes widened.
“I think your wife has you under observation”, Kazuya went on. “She knows that you’re cheating on her.”
Jin put the photos back into the envelope. “You should sit down, Kazuya.”
Kazuya threw him a long look, before he turned and walked over to the couch.
Jin got out of the room and came back with two glasses and another envelope. He put one glass in front of Kazuya and sat down then.
“I got this today.”
Kazuya eyed the envelope and took it slowly. He opened it carefully and saw that inside, there was only one photo.
It showed him and Jin, but not really together. Jin was getting into his car in front of the hotel and Kazuya stood at the steps - looking at Jin.
“What is this?”
Jin shrugged. “I wondered, too. I got it in the mail to this address today. So, whoever sends it, is not happy with us looking at each other.”
Kazuya shuddered and took his glass, emptying the bourbon liquid in one go. “You don’t think it’s your wife?”
Jin ran a hand over his face and sighed. “I have to put Natsuki to sleep first. Do you have time? I guess I have quite a bit to explain to you.”
Kazuya tensed, but he nodded. “I have to keep my word and go see her for a minute.”
“Yeah, fine”, Jin murmured and got up.
Kazuya followed and they walked up the stairs, which gave Kazuya an excuse to see more of Jin’s home.
Jin was about to open the door to Natsuki’s room, but Kazuya put his hand over Jin’s and shook his head. “She told me to knock.”
Jin couldn’t hold back the smile that formed in his face. “That little missy. She’s playing games with you.”
Kazuya returned the slight smile. “I don’t really mind.” He raised his hand and knocked.
As they went in, Natsuki sat on her bed, wearing a wide night dress in green with lots of bows. She had a doll in her lap and brushed her hair.
Kazuya had a look around the room and smiled at how girly it was. Jin’s daughter was indeed a little missy - it looked like she got everything she wanted and surely that was because her father got her everything.
Her bed was white and her linen pink and green. The cupboards were white, too, but decorated with drawings and pictures, a lot of toys, cuddly ones too, colourful accessories and boxes.
Natsuki smiled at them and waved them in. “Kazuya-san, you have to say hello to Mi-chan!” She held up the doll and Kazuya went over to shake the doll’s hand.
“Nice to meet you, Mi-chan.”
Jin remained in the door frame and watched his daughter introduce most of her favourite toys to Kazuya. She smiled at him and beamed each time he said something nice about them.
Natsuki wasn’t really a shy child; she was pretty open to everyone. However, the way she had naturally bonded with Kazuya had just something magical to it.
“Say good night, Natsuki”, Jin said and walked over to them.
Natsuki pouted. “Not yet!”
“It’s late. You have school tomorrow morning.”
She threw a look at Kazuya, as if to ask for help, but he raised his hands and made a helpless gesture. “Your dad is right, I guess.”
She sighed and lifted her blanket to crawl beneath it.
Jin leaned in and placed a kiss to her cheek. “Sleep well, baby.”
Natsuki pulled the blanket to her chin and looked at Kazuya with huge eyes. Kazuya got the hint and threw a glance at Jin first, before he leaned in and kissed her forehead, gently running a hand over her hair. “Good night, Natsuki-chan.”
She grinned and closed her eyes and Jin and Kazuya quietly left the room.
Jin didn’t say a word, as he walked ahead and Kazuya followed him quietly. As they reached the foot of the stairs, Kazuya stopped and buried his hands in his pockets.
“There is no wife, is there?”
Jin stopped, too, but didn’t turn.
“All her drawings in her room…” Kazuya stared at Jin’s back. “They show only you, and the photos, too.”
Walking on, Jin ignored it and disappeared into the living room. When Kazuya eventually followed, Jin sat on the couch and looked at the photo he had gotten that was lying on the table.
“I’ve been married”, Jin said and didn’t expect Kazuya to come back to sit next to him. “Until Natsuki was a year old. Then, I divorced her.”
Kazuya didn’t ask, he just waited for Jin to continue with whatever he wanted Kazuya to know.
“See, I’m not a tragic figure in this. I’m not a single dad who got dumped by his wife and now has to try to make ends meet. Natsuki and I are fine.”
Kazuya nodded. “I see that.”
“I dumped her.” Jin looked up at Kazuya. “I married her, because… I was careless and I got the bill. She got pregnant and I didn’t even know her that well. We hadn’t even been dating. She contacted me one day and said she was pregnant, but that she already had an appointment for an abortion.”
Kazuya saw how much it really hurt Jin to talk about it. He wasn’t the tragic figure in this, probably, but he definitely wasn’t indifferent about it, either.
“I was relieved, but… the thought of having my child aborted got just so unbearable. I persuaded her to keep it and married her.”
Kazuya nodded. “And what is everyone knowing about your wife?”
Jin frowned.
“The night I came here to confront you, I had heard Nishikido and Yamashita talk about it. That Ueda knew about everything - that you were sleeping around, seeing other men beside me and that he’d know about your wife.”
Jin shook his head. “I’m not sure what he meant. I haven’t seen anyone but you, since I started to get serious about you. I have been sleeping around before. Probably.” He shrugged. “And about my wife… or rather ex-wife”, he added, “she never comes here. She’s never been really interested in Natsuki, she never started to love her. After all, she had wanted to abort her; she never wanted a child. I keep Natsuki a secret from everyone I’m involved with, because I don’t want anyone to find out I’ve been married previously.”
“So, Ueda thinks he can use the fact that you’ve been married against you.” Kazuya approached the couch and sat down.
Jin shrugged. “He must have figured I have a reason to keep it a secret. So, if he knows about my wife, he has something on his hands to threaten me, doesn’t he?”
Kazuya took the envelope again. “You think it’s Ueda?”
Jin shrugged. “I have no idea who it is.”
“Whoever it is isn’t after me, Jin. But after you.”
Jin nodded. “And that person doesn’t like to see me getting serious about someone.” He took the photo of Kazuya looking at him. “But if they observe us so closely, they should have noticed you have a new boyfriend.”
Kazuya shrugged.
Jin had a small laugh for it. “But, well, after all, it’s a bunch of photos of me gazing at you, while there’s only one of you looking after me.”
“That’s because they’re so focused on your actions.” Kazuya bit his lip. “Or else they would have caught me gazing a lot more often, too.”
Jin let go of his breath and raised his brows. “You’re not serious, are you?”
“It’s not like I was over you the second you said everything was a lie”, Kazuya just said. “And, Jin, especially not, after you said those words, when you thought I was sleeping at the office.”
Jin’s expression changed to surprise. “You were awake?”
“I heard every single word and after that I was pretty sure there was more to it than what you had made me believe.”
“And you still hooked up with someone else. Someone who is working for Ueda on top of that”, Jin added. “Isn’t it clear to you that I’m in love with you?”
Kazuya’s heart skipped a beat. How much had he wanted to hear that confirmation? How much had he wanted to hear it from Jin? “Still, it was so very easy for you to shut me out of your life and to hurt me, even though it was clear to you that I was in love with you. And just because… I don’t even know the reason.” Kazuya managed an ironic laugh. “Did you think I wouldn’t be able to handle Natsuki?”
“I haven’t been serious about anyone before”, Jin murmured. “How would I know how you would react to finding out I had a daughter.”
Kazuya shrugged. “Well, if you do love me, you would have told me before you said I love you and before you slept with me. We were serious, Jin”, he said lowly. “At least I was very serious about you. If you’re serious about someone, you tell him important things like having a daughter.”
“I didn’t think you wouldn’t be able to handle her”, Jin said and emptied his glass that had stood untouched for a while. “But I think she wouldn’t be able to handle you.”
Kazuya nodded. He knew where Jin was coming from and he did understand his concern.
“Well, she’s a lovely girl and I think I get along with her very well.” He got up and took the envelope he had received. “But I understand you. Accepting me as a friend is different for her than accepting me as your lover.”
Jin nodded and looked down at the glass in his hands.
“But I’m glad I could finally get the whole truth from you.” Kazuya smiled slightly. “That will make it easier to get over you. And I am sure the threats will stop soon, too.”
Jin looked up. “You shouldn’t take it too lightly.”
Kazuya shook his head. “I think there’s nothing to be afraid of as long as we’re just friends and working together.” He pressed his lips together. “I’m not the one in danger, Jin. You know that.”
There were no words to prove Kazuya wrong, Jin realised.
“Protecting Natsuki is most important”, Kazuya added and shrugged. “You can’t afford putting her into danger.”
Jin nodded and lowered his look again.
“You’re doing a great job in raising her.” Kazuya fidgeted the envelope in his hands. “But I’d like to say one thing, though.”
Jin frowned and gave Kazuya an asking look. “What is it?”
“She’s a lovely girl and I can see you love her to no extend. She’s still young now, but one day, she’ll start to wonder why you keep her secret from everyone important to you. When I took her to the hotel the other day, she asked if I was living there. She had never seen it before.”
Jin bit his lip.
“She won’t understand, Jin. She’ll feel unloved and unaccepted, if you go on like that. Stand by her side - make her see just how proud you are to be her father.”
“That’s impossible, Kazuya”, Jin murmured. “You know society and you know business. People would stop their business with me, if they’d find out what I’ve been through, what I’ve done.”
Kazuya kept silent for a while, before he nodded. “Well, you should think about how much business they are worth, if they would judge you like that.” He turned and got to the door.
Jin followed, as Kazuya had just put on his boots. “I’m sorry, Kazuya.”
Kazuya managed a smile. “I think, knowing the truth now, it’s a lot easier for me to handle all of this. I can understand your reasons, Jin. And it’ll be easier to get over you.”
“Why can’t you be mad at me? That would make it easier for me, at least.” Jin came closer.
“Your daughter is at stake, Jin. Don’t forget that.” Kazuya reached out to take Jin’s hand and squeezed it. “Try find out who is after you like that.”
Jin looked at Kazuya for a moment longer; then, he laced their fingers and pulled them up to his lips to press a kiss to the back of Kazuya’s hand. “You didn’t listen, when I said I’m in love with you, did you?”
Kazuya’s heart beat sped up. “Did you listen, when I said you can’t put Natsuki into danger?”
Jin shook his head. “I won’t let anyone threaten us.”
Kazuya couldn’t remember when it had happened, but as he noticed now, he was with his back to the door and didn’t have much space to fetch from Jin.
“Jin, listen…”
But Jin had him cornered and caught Kazuya’s lips with his.
Kazuya felt all the memories he had tried to supress so stubbornly come back in an instant. All the pictures he had pushed to the back of his head were back now, flooding his mind.
The way Jin had looked when he was sleeping next to him, the way they had spent hours over hours in that huge bed, just kissing and sharing light touches, talking and laughing. All the memories of how it held felt to sleep with Jin, to have him touch Kazuya, have Jin’s skin on his, those lips skimming over Kazuya’s body - every single memory made its way back into Kazuya’s mind.
“Damn you, Jin”, Kazuya murmured and buried his hands in Jin’s hair, pulled him closer. He felt Jin grin on his lips, as he knew he had won.
Even as the kiss aroused, there was still that gentle touch to it, something that told Kazuya just so very clear that love was involved, that Jin wasn’t just playing.
He had to be serious, otherwise, he wouldn’t consider being with Kazuya for a single second. Not with Natsuki involved in all this.
Jin changed his angle and Kazuya lost every coherent thought, as he felt Jin’s hands on his hips, pulling him close. The door pressed hard against his back and he could feel Jin’s heat, the desire that took over Kazuya, too.
“Jin, stop”, Kazuya murmured, as he got to catch his breath for a moment.
Jin withdrew and lowered his head to nip Kazuya’s neck, kiss his skin over his pulsing vein. “Don’t you dare seeing that guy ever again”, he murmured beneath Kazuya’s ear. “Your plan to make me jealous worked just fine.”
Kazuya couldn’t stop the smile tugging his lips. He had known Jin was burning with jealousy. “You deserved it.”
Jin stepped back a bit and gave Kazuya an indignant look. “You’ll regret that, believe me. You won’t even remember his name, as soon as I’m through with you.”
Kazuya felt that familiar heat built up in his chest again.
“Seriously, Kazuya”, Jin said then and ran his hands down Kazuya’s arms, until he reached his hands and laced their fingers. “That guy isn’t trustworthy. He’s working for Ueda.”
Kazuya shook his head. “He’s been kind of working for you, too.”
“I have a bad feeling”, Jin insisted. “Don’t stay with him.”
“You’re just saying that, because you want me to come back to you.”
Jin licked his lips, before he leaned in and caught Kazuya’s again. “You can’t even imagine how much I want that.”
Kazuya smiled against Jin’s lips, but then, pulled back. “I have to go.”
Jin tightened his grip on Kazuya’s hands. “Stay.”
“I really shouldn’t.” Kazuya withdrew his hands from Jin’s. “Not today.”
Knowing when he had to give up, Jin stepped back a bit. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
Kazuya nodded. “Take care.” He turned to open the door, but he knew he couldn’t turn back again, as soon as it would be open. So, with one hand at the handle, Kazuya turned again and pulled his free arm around Jin’s neck.
They shared another kiss, another exchange of passion and sweet promises, before Kazuya drew back again.
“Good night, Jin.”
Jin just nodded and let Kazuya leave. For the moment.
Kazuya felt nervous.
He sat in the café he and Kensaku usually met up at.
It had been a few days since he had had his talk with Jin. To Kazuya, it felt like they had cleared everything that had stood between them. Now, he could view everything in a different light and the feeling of wanting to be with Jin had just grown stronger.
However, there were still a few things between them and most important was to find out who was threatening them.
Kazuya wasn’t afraid for anything to happen to himself and he knew Jin could take care of himself, too, but with Natsuki involved, all this was too dangerous to ignore.
If anything would happen to her… Kazuya didn’t even want to imagine it. It would be his fault alone if anything were to happen to the girl.
“Sorry, did you wait?” Kensaku approached him and sat down across from Kazuya.
“Not that long”, Kazuya answered and smiled. “We haven’t met in a while.”
“True”, Kensaku said and nipped the coffee Kazuya had already ordered for him. “It’s been very busy at the hotel.”
“You know, a lot of things happened the past few days.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I can’t really”, Kazuya said. “It’s too much. But… I figured that I should end what is between you and me, as long as I still can.”
Kensaku’s expression changed and he leaned in. “What does that mean?”
“I can’t be with you. Actually, I guess I am in love with someone else and I used you to get over that.” Kazuya pressed his lips together. “That’s not fair.”
Kensaku just stared at him in disbelief.
“I am sorry”, Kazuya murmured and got up. “I wasn’t really honest with you and you deserve something better.” He got out some money and put it to the table.
Kensaku didn’t say a word, as Kazuya turned and left the café.
For a few minutes, while Kazuya walked to his car, he was afraid that Kensaku would follow him and make a scene, ask questions.
But nothing happened.
Kazuya’s hands started shaking, as he drove back to the hotel. He tried to calm down, but the feeling wouldn’t stop.
He had hurt someone else. On purpose. Knowing perfectly well what he had been doing, Kazuya had hurt Kensaku, hadn’t even hesitated for a second to do so.
Agony was crawling up his throat and Kazuya swallowed thickly, put his head to the steering wheel, as he had parked the car.
But it had been the right decision.
He wouldn’t have ever gotten serious about Kensaku. Not as long as he would have to be around Jin every day.
With Jin around, it would be impossible to get rid of the feelings - of his desires to be with Jin.
He got out of the car and walked up the stairs.
He had made it so far; had managed to get a position in the hotel he had always wanted to work at. And on top of that, he had found Jin.
Kazuya took a deep breath, as he walked in; ready to go and see Jin and tell him exactly what he was up to and what he wanted.
“Kazuya-nii-chan!”
Kazuya stopped and stared through the huge lobby.
Natsuki came rushing over. She wore a red, woollen dress with a cat print at the front and her fringe had been tied up with a green bow. In her left arm, she held Mi-chan.
She beamed at him in delight and Kazuya automatically reached out his arms, as she approached him. Her arms flew around his waist and she held him tight.
“Kazu-nii”, she said excitedly. “Papa showed me and Mi-chan around the hotel.”
Kazuya smiled and got to his knees to hug her back. She nuzzled against him and her nice scent of shampoo and cream embraced him. “You must have had an exciting day then.”
She nodded and drew back a bit. “Papa said it’s okay to call you Kazuya-nii-chan.”
Kazuya just nodded. How in the whole wide world could that be not okay? “It’s okay.” He lifted her up and she wound her arms around his neck.
Over her head, Kazuya spotted Jin who stood at the lift and observed them.
It was amazing, but suddenly, every bad feeling Kazuya had felt before was vanished and he couldn’t even remember them.
With Natsuki on his arms, he approached Jin and a smile formed in his face.
It felt complete, as Jin smiled back.
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Everyone, thank you so much for reading ♥
Pairing: Akanishi Jin x Kazuya Kamenashi //Akame//
Genre: Romance, AU
Rating: PG-13 and up.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I don't make profit with this.
Summary: The first impression counts and Kazuya's first impression of Jin is not the best. However, Jin is determined to get to know Kazuya - and Kazuya makes up a few lies, which suddenly become huge... And then, the tide is turning.
A/N: English isn't my mother tongue, but I've been living in the UK for quite a time, so I basically write and speak well. You're welcome to correct any mistakes, though. Of course.
Now, you guys are just so very amazing ♥ Thanks a lot for everyone who's always stopping by to read and leave me nice comments. Please enjoy it :) ♥
Previous Chapters:
First Lie: Who am I?
Second Lie: Find Me
Third Lie: Exposed
Fourth Lie: On Repeat
Fifth Lie: More of You
Sixth Lie: Not My Fault
Seventh Lie: Out of Reach
Eighth Lie: Leaving You
Ninth Lie: Hold On
Tenth Lie: Secret
Eleventh Lie: Broken Lovers
Twelfth Lie: Worry About You
Thirteenth Lie: I Won't
"I’m home”, Kazuya mumbled, as he opened up the door to his flat. He had his laptop case in one hand and his mail in the other, so he just kicked the door closed.
No one answered, but Vanilla came from his kitchen and greeted him by rubbing his head against Kazuya’s leg.
Kazuya smiled and put down his laptop case on his couch, before he took his mail to the kitchen and opened the fridge to take a bottle of water. Checking the contents of his fridge, he frowned and closed it again.
“Should I cook something”, he asked, as he turned back to Vanilla, who had followed him.
The past days had been pretty intense. A lot was going on and Kazuya felt confused by his own feelings.
He was with Kensaku now - they weren’t really a couple yet, but it was obvious that they had something g going on.
However, he couldn’t stop thinking of Jin.
What Jin had said that evening, that he would worry about Kazuya, didn’t leave his mind.
Why would Jin worry for him? Why was Jin saying affectionate things when he thought Kazuya wasn’t listening? After all, he had dumped Kazuya without second thoughts.
And then, there was Natsuki. She was amazingly cute and Jin raised her well. Kazuya had found out so much in that one afternoon.
She had told him about her nanny, a girl named Eri who took her to school and stayed with her, until Jin would come home. He had gotten to know about her preschool and her friends.
She was a kid like any other, living a pretty normal childhood.
However, Jin kept her secret from everyone he knew.
Kazuya bit his lip, as he sipped his water and stared out of his kitchen window.
How could someone who adored his child that much keep her from everyone? Why didn’t Jin want anyone to know about her? After all, she didn’t do anything wrong, she wasn’t anyone Jin should be ashamed of.
Kazuya shook his head and turned to start making some dinner.
He put some rice into a cooker and then, took his mail again to go through it. Reading bills, he yawned and ran a hand through his hair, before a simple letter without any address on caught his attention.
Kazuya opened it slowly and got out a bunch of photos.
The one on top showed himself with Jin in front of the hotel, walking next to each other. Kazuya could remember that day - they had gone to a meeting together. Kazuya looked at the ground, while Jin had turned his head slightly and watched Kazuya’s face.
The next one showed them in the back office of reception at the hotel. Someone had taken the photo from outside and it was a little blurry, but Kazuya could make out himself sitting over some papers, while Jin was at the other end of the room at a desk, staring over to him.
Kazuya frowned. He hadn’t known Jin was observing him like that, when he wasn’t looking.
More photos followed that showed them together, before the last one surfaced and made Kazuya drop all of them.
It showed him carrying Natsuki from the car through one of the back entries of the hotel.
Kazuya stared at the mess of photos lying to his feet now and felt his heart pounding loudly in his ears. He felt every beat and he knew, without a single word being attached to the photos that this was another threat.
Whoever had been sending those threats, wasn’t satisfied with them having broken up. Because, Jin was still looking like that at Kazuya; because they were still spending time together.
Because Jin still trusted Kazuya.
Taking a deep breath, Kazuya turned and got out his mobile from his coat. He couldn’t keep this from Jin any longer. Not if Natsuki could be in danger, too.
About to dial in Jin’s number, Kazuya raised his head and looked through the room. It was almost dark outside and the neighbourhood was quiet. He moved over and closed the curtains; shuddered, as he felt unobserved.
“What’s wrong?” Jin’s voice sounded irritated, as he picked up.
“I’m sorry to call you this late. It’s just…” Kazuya swallowed. “I need to talk to you.”
Jin hesitated for a moment. “Okay, sure. What is it?”
“I can’t explain. I have something I need to show you.”
“Well, bring it to the hotel tomorrow.”
Kazuya closed his eyes and ran a hand over his temple. “You should see it right now.”
“Kazuya”, Jin said calmly. “What happened?”
“I don’t know”, Kazuya murmured and sat down. “I really don’t know. We broke up and yet, you just don’t stop looking at me.”
For a moment, Jin didn’t say anything. “What is this call about?”
“I’m coming over”, Kazuya just said. “I’ll be there in twenty.”
He didn’t wait for Jin’s answer before he hung up.
When he arrived at Jin’s place, it was already dark and the door opened, before Kazuya had even reached it.
“Okay, could you please explain this to me?” Jin crossed his arms, as Kazuya stood in front of him. “You’ve been ignoring me for a week, haven’t talked to me, unless it was necessary and now, you show up here?”
“It’s important, Jin.” Kazuya tried to keep down his voice. “Is your wife home?”
Jin raised a brow. “I’m not going to…”
“She is threatening me”, Kazuya said. “I’d like to talk to her myself.”
Now, Jin fell silent and he stared and Kazuya, his expression surprised.
“Kazuya-san!” Natsuki came into the hall and beamed at him. “You came to visit again!”
She hurried over and gripped Kazuya’s hand. “You can meet Mi-chan and the others now.”
Kazuya put on a smile and got to his knees to look at her. “I need to talk to your father for a few minutes. But I’ll have a look at them afterwards, okay?”
“Natsuki”, Jin said and pointed at the stairs. “Didn’t we agree that you would get ready for bed?”
“I will!” She leaned in to Kazuya and brought her lips close to his ear. “You have to knock, before you come in, okay?”
Kazuya smiled and squeezed her hand slightly. “Sure.”
She turned and hurried up the stairs.
Jin pointed at the door to the living room and let Kazuya go ahead. “So, you think my wife is threatening you?”
Kazuya stepped into the huge living room and had a look around. All furniture was clean and yet, looked used. There was a huge couch beneath the window and it looked like someone had been comfortably lying there just until a few minutes ago. The curtains were crème-white and the frame dark brown. The table in front of the couch had the same colour. A few toys were spread over the carpet, the TV was on, airing a news programme.
This was different from Jin’s flat, Kazuya thought. This was a home, a real home.
Kazuya got out the envelope from his pocket and handed it to Jin. The sticky note from the hotel room was on top.
“It’s been going on for a while.” Kazuya shrugged. “Ever since that break-in into my flat.”
Jin frowned at the sticky note, before he opened the envelope.
“It’s definitely connected”, Kazuya explained. “I got a call, after we started dating. When I started living in the suite. They said I couldn’t possibly hide and that I don’t deserve you.”
Jin’s look shot up. “Why didn’t you say a word?”
Kazuya shrugged. “I didn’t get another call and… I don’t know. I wanted to, after I found that sticky note about the ring in the suite. I wanted to tell you, but, when I came here…”
Jin lowered his look and got out the photos, looking through them.
“I wouldn’t have told you”, Kazuya murmured. “But… that last picture worries me.”
Frowning, Jin shuffled through them, before he found the last one and his eyes widened.
“I think your wife has you under observation”, Kazuya went on. “She knows that you’re cheating on her.”
Jin put the photos back into the envelope. “You should sit down, Kazuya.”
Kazuya threw him a long look, before he turned and walked over to the couch.
Jin got out of the room and came back with two glasses and another envelope. He put one glass in front of Kazuya and sat down then.
“I got this today.”
Kazuya eyed the envelope and took it slowly. He opened it carefully and saw that inside, there was only one photo.
It showed him and Jin, but not really together. Jin was getting into his car in front of the hotel and Kazuya stood at the steps - looking at Jin.
“What is this?”
Jin shrugged. “I wondered, too. I got it in the mail to this address today. So, whoever sends it, is not happy with us looking at each other.”
Kazuya shuddered and took his glass, emptying the bourbon liquid in one go. “You don’t think it’s your wife?”
Jin ran a hand over his face and sighed. “I have to put Natsuki to sleep first. Do you have time? I guess I have quite a bit to explain to you.”
Kazuya tensed, but he nodded. “I have to keep my word and go see her for a minute.”
“Yeah, fine”, Jin murmured and got up.
Kazuya followed and they walked up the stairs, which gave Kazuya an excuse to see more of Jin’s home.
Jin was about to open the door to Natsuki’s room, but Kazuya put his hand over Jin’s and shook his head. “She told me to knock.”
Jin couldn’t hold back the smile that formed in his face. “That little missy. She’s playing games with you.”
Kazuya returned the slight smile. “I don’t really mind.” He raised his hand and knocked.
As they went in, Natsuki sat on her bed, wearing a wide night dress in green with lots of bows. She had a doll in her lap and brushed her hair.
Kazuya had a look around the room and smiled at how girly it was. Jin’s daughter was indeed a little missy - it looked like she got everything she wanted and surely that was because her father got her everything.
Her bed was white and her linen pink and green. The cupboards were white, too, but decorated with drawings and pictures, a lot of toys, cuddly ones too, colourful accessories and boxes.
Natsuki smiled at them and waved them in. “Kazuya-san, you have to say hello to Mi-chan!” She held up the doll and Kazuya went over to shake the doll’s hand.
“Nice to meet you, Mi-chan.”
Jin remained in the door frame and watched his daughter introduce most of her favourite toys to Kazuya. She smiled at him and beamed each time he said something nice about them.
Natsuki wasn’t really a shy child; she was pretty open to everyone. However, the way she had naturally bonded with Kazuya had just something magical to it.
“Say good night, Natsuki”, Jin said and walked over to them.
Natsuki pouted. “Not yet!”
“It’s late. You have school tomorrow morning.”
She threw a look at Kazuya, as if to ask for help, but he raised his hands and made a helpless gesture. “Your dad is right, I guess.”
She sighed and lifted her blanket to crawl beneath it.
Jin leaned in and placed a kiss to her cheek. “Sleep well, baby.”
Natsuki pulled the blanket to her chin and looked at Kazuya with huge eyes. Kazuya got the hint and threw a glance at Jin first, before he leaned in and kissed her forehead, gently running a hand over her hair. “Good night, Natsuki-chan.”
She grinned and closed her eyes and Jin and Kazuya quietly left the room.
Jin didn’t say a word, as he walked ahead and Kazuya followed him quietly. As they reached the foot of the stairs, Kazuya stopped and buried his hands in his pockets.
“There is no wife, is there?”
Jin stopped, too, but didn’t turn.
“All her drawings in her room…” Kazuya stared at Jin’s back. “They show only you, and the photos, too.”
Walking on, Jin ignored it and disappeared into the living room. When Kazuya eventually followed, Jin sat on the couch and looked at the photo he had gotten that was lying on the table.
“I’ve been married”, Jin said and didn’t expect Kazuya to come back to sit next to him. “Until Natsuki was a year old. Then, I divorced her.”
Kazuya didn’t ask, he just waited for Jin to continue with whatever he wanted Kazuya to know.
“See, I’m not a tragic figure in this. I’m not a single dad who got dumped by his wife and now has to try to make ends meet. Natsuki and I are fine.”
Kazuya nodded. “I see that.”
“I dumped her.” Jin looked up at Kazuya. “I married her, because… I was careless and I got the bill. She got pregnant and I didn’t even know her that well. We hadn’t even been dating. She contacted me one day and said she was pregnant, but that she already had an appointment for an abortion.”
Kazuya saw how much it really hurt Jin to talk about it. He wasn’t the tragic figure in this, probably, but he definitely wasn’t indifferent about it, either.
“I was relieved, but… the thought of having my child aborted got just so unbearable. I persuaded her to keep it and married her.”
Kazuya nodded. “And what is everyone knowing about your wife?”
Jin frowned.
“The night I came here to confront you, I had heard Nishikido and Yamashita talk about it. That Ueda knew about everything - that you were sleeping around, seeing other men beside me and that he’d know about your wife.”
Jin shook his head. “I’m not sure what he meant. I haven’t seen anyone but you, since I started to get serious about you. I have been sleeping around before. Probably.” He shrugged. “And about my wife… or rather ex-wife”, he added, “she never comes here. She’s never been really interested in Natsuki, she never started to love her. After all, she had wanted to abort her; she never wanted a child. I keep Natsuki a secret from everyone I’m involved with, because I don’t want anyone to find out I’ve been married previously.”
“So, Ueda thinks he can use the fact that you’ve been married against you.” Kazuya approached the couch and sat down.
Jin shrugged. “He must have figured I have a reason to keep it a secret. So, if he knows about my wife, he has something on his hands to threaten me, doesn’t he?”
Kazuya took the envelope again. “You think it’s Ueda?”
Jin shrugged. “I have no idea who it is.”
“Whoever it is isn’t after me, Jin. But after you.”
Jin nodded. “And that person doesn’t like to see me getting serious about someone.” He took the photo of Kazuya looking at him. “But if they observe us so closely, they should have noticed you have a new boyfriend.”
Kazuya shrugged.
Jin had a small laugh for it. “But, well, after all, it’s a bunch of photos of me gazing at you, while there’s only one of you looking after me.”
“That’s because they’re so focused on your actions.” Kazuya bit his lip. “Or else they would have caught me gazing a lot more often, too.”
Jin let go of his breath and raised his brows. “You’re not serious, are you?”
“It’s not like I was over you the second you said everything was a lie”, Kazuya just said. “And, Jin, especially not, after you said those words, when you thought I was sleeping at the office.”
Jin’s expression changed to surprise. “You were awake?”
“I heard every single word and after that I was pretty sure there was more to it than what you had made me believe.”
“And you still hooked up with someone else. Someone who is working for Ueda on top of that”, Jin added. “Isn’t it clear to you that I’m in love with you?”
Kazuya’s heart skipped a beat. How much had he wanted to hear that confirmation? How much had he wanted to hear it from Jin? “Still, it was so very easy for you to shut me out of your life and to hurt me, even though it was clear to you that I was in love with you. And just because… I don’t even know the reason.” Kazuya managed an ironic laugh. “Did you think I wouldn’t be able to handle Natsuki?”
“I haven’t been serious about anyone before”, Jin murmured. “How would I know how you would react to finding out I had a daughter.”
Kazuya shrugged. “Well, if you do love me, you would have told me before you said I love you and before you slept with me. We were serious, Jin”, he said lowly. “At least I was very serious about you. If you’re serious about someone, you tell him important things like having a daughter.”
“I didn’t think you wouldn’t be able to handle her”, Jin said and emptied his glass that had stood untouched for a while. “But I think she wouldn’t be able to handle you.”
Kazuya nodded. He knew where Jin was coming from and he did understand his concern.
“Well, she’s a lovely girl and I think I get along with her very well.” He got up and took the envelope he had received. “But I understand you. Accepting me as a friend is different for her than accepting me as your lover.”
Jin nodded and looked down at the glass in his hands.
“But I’m glad I could finally get the whole truth from you.” Kazuya smiled slightly. “That will make it easier to get over you. And I am sure the threats will stop soon, too.”
Jin looked up. “You shouldn’t take it too lightly.”
Kazuya shook his head. “I think there’s nothing to be afraid of as long as we’re just friends and working together.” He pressed his lips together. “I’m not the one in danger, Jin. You know that.”
There were no words to prove Kazuya wrong, Jin realised.
“Protecting Natsuki is most important”, Kazuya added and shrugged. “You can’t afford putting her into danger.”
Jin nodded and lowered his look again.
“You’re doing a great job in raising her.” Kazuya fidgeted the envelope in his hands. “But I’d like to say one thing, though.”
Jin frowned and gave Kazuya an asking look. “What is it?”
“She’s a lovely girl and I can see you love her to no extend. She’s still young now, but one day, she’ll start to wonder why you keep her secret from everyone important to you. When I took her to the hotel the other day, she asked if I was living there. She had never seen it before.”
Jin bit his lip.
“She won’t understand, Jin. She’ll feel unloved and unaccepted, if you go on like that. Stand by her side - make her see just how proud you are to be her father.”
“That’s impossible, Kazuya”, Jin murmured. “You know society and you know business. People would stop their business with me, if they’d find out what I’ve been through, what I’ve done.”
Kazuya kept silent for a while, before he nodded. “Well, you should think about how much business they are worth, if they would judge you like that.” He turned and got to the door.
Jin followed, as Kazuya had just put on his boots. “I’m sorry, Kazuya.”
Kazuya managed a smile. “I think, knowing the truth now, it’s a lot easier for me to handle all of this. I can understand your reasons, Jin. And it’ll be easier to get over you.”
“Why can’t you be mad at me? That would make it easier for me, at least.” Jin came closer.
“Your daughter is at stake, Jin. Don’t forget that.” Kazuya reached out to take Jin’s hand and squeezed it. “Try find out who is after you like that.”
Jin looked at Kazuya for a moment longer; then, he laced their fingers and pulled them up to his lips to press a kiss to the back of Kazuya’s hand. “You didn’t listen, when I said I’m in love with you, did you?”
Kazuya’s heart beat sped up. “Did you listen, when I said you can’t put Natsuki into danger?”
Jin shook his head. “I won’t let anyone threaten us.”
Kazuya couldn’t remember when it had happened, but as he noticed now, he was with his back to the door and didn’t have much space to fetch from Jin.
“Jin, listen…”
But Jin had him cornered and caught Kazuya’s lips with his.
Kazuya felt all the memories he had tried to supress so stubbornly come back in an instant. All the pictures he had pushed to the back of his head were back now, flooding his mind.
The way Jin had looked when he was sleeping next to him, the way they had spent hours over hours in that huge bed, just kissing and sharing light touches, talking and laughing. All the memories of how it held felt to sleep with Jin, to have him touch Kazuya, have Jin’s skin on his, those lips skimming over Kazuya’s body - every single memory made its way back into Kazuya’s mind.
“Damn you, Jin”, Kazuya murmured and buried his hands in Jin’s hair, pulled him closer. He felt Jin grin on his lips, as he knew he had won.
Even as the kiss aroused, there was still that gentle touch to it, something that told Kazuya just so very clear that love was involved, that Jin wasn’t just playing.
He had to be serious, otherwise, he wouldn’t consider being with Kazuya for a single second. Not with Natsuki involved in all this.
Jin changed his angle and Kazuya lost every coherent thought, as he felt Jin’s hands on his hips, pulling him close. The door pressed hard against his back and he could feel Jin’s heat, the desire that took over Kazuya, too.
“Jin, stop”, Kazuya murmured, as he got to catch his breath for a moment.
Jin withdrew and lowered his head to nip Kazuya’s neck, kiss his skin over his pulsing vein. “Don’t you dare seeing that guy ever again”, he murmured beneath Kazuya’s ear. “Your plan to make me jealous worked just fine.”
Kazuya couldn’t stop the smile tugging his lips. He had known Jin was burning with jealousy. “You deserved it.”
Jin stepped back a bit and gave Kazuya an indignant look. “You’ll regret that, believe me. You won’t even remember his name, as soon as I’m through with you.”
Kazuya felt that familiar heat built up in his chest again.
“Seriously, Kazuya”, Jin said then and ran his hands down Kazuya’s arms, until he reached his hands and laced their fingers. “That guy isn’t trustworthy. He’s working for Ueda.”
Kazuya shook his head. “He’s been kind of working for you, too.”
“I have a bad feeling”, Jin insisted. “Don’t stay with him.”
“You’re just saying that, because you want me to come back to you.”
Jin licked his lips, before he leaned in and caught Kazuya’s again. “You can’t even imagine how much I want that.”
Kazuya smiled against Jin’s lips, but then, pulled back. “I have to go.”
Jin tightened his grip on Kazuya’s hands. “Stay.”
“I really shouldn’t.” Kazuya withdrew his hands from Jin’s. “Not today.”
Knowing when he had to give up, Jin stepped back a bit. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
Kazuya nodded. “Take care.” He turned to open the door, but he knew he couldn’t turn back again, as soon as it would be open. So, with one hand at the handle, Kazuya turned again and pulled his free arm around Jin’s neck.
They shared another kiss, another exchange of passion and sweet promises, before Kazuya drew back again.
“Good night, Jin.”
Jin just nodded and let Kazuya leave. For the moment.
Kazuya felt nervous.
He sat in the café he and Kensaku usually met up at.
It had been a few days since he had had his talk with Jin. To Kazuya, it felt like they had cleared everything that had stood between them. Now, he could view everything in a different light and the feeling of wanting to be with Jin had just grown stronger.
However, there were still a few things between them and most important was to find out who was threatening them.
Kazuya wasn’t afraid for anything to happen to himself and he knew Jin could take care of himself, too, but with Natsuki involved, all this was too dangerous to ignore.
If anything would happen to her… Kazuya didn’t even want to imagine it. It would be his fault alone if anything were to happen to the girl.
“Sorry, did you wait?” Kensaku approached him and sat down across from Kazuya.
“Not that long”, Kazuya answered and smiled. “We haven’t met in a while.”
“True”, Kensaku said and nipped the coffee Kazuya had already ordered for him. “It’s been very busy at the hotel.”
“You know, a lot of things happened the past few days.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I can’t really”, Kazuya said. “It’s too much. But… I figured that I should end what is between you and me, as long as I still can.”
Kensaku’s expression changed and he leaned in. “What does that mean?”
“I can’t be with you. Actually, I guess I am in love with someone else and I used you to get over that.” Kazuya pressed his lips together. “That’s not fair.”
Kensaku just stared at him in disbelief.
“I am sorry”, Kazuya murmured and got up. “I wasn’t really honest with you and you deserve something better.” He got out some money and put it to the table.
Kensaku didn’t say a word, as Kazuya turned and left the café.
For a few minutes, while Kazuya walked to his car, he was afraid that Kensaku would follow him and make a scene, ask questions.
But nothing happened.
Kazuya’s hands started shaking, as he drove back to the hotel. He tried to calm down, but the feeling wouldn’t stop.
He had hurt someone else. On purpose. Knowing perfectly well what he had been doing, Kazuya had hurt Kensaku, hadn’t even hesitated for a second to do so.
Agony was crawling up his throat and Kazuya swallowed thickly, put his head to the steering wheel, as he had parked the car.
But it had been the right decision.
He wouldn’t have ever gotten serious about Kensaku. Not as long as he would have to be around Jin every day.
With Jin around, it would be impossible to get rid of the feelings - of his desires to be with Jin.
He got out of the car and walked up the stairs.
He had made it so far; had managed to get a position in the hotel he had always wanted to work at. And on top of that, he had found Jin.
Kazuya took a deep breath, as he walked in; ready to go and see Jin and tell him exactly what he was up to and what he wanted.
“Kazuya-nii-chan!”
Kazuya stopped and stared through the huge lobby.
Natsuki came rushing over. She wore a red, woollen dress with a cat print at the front and her fringe had been tied up with a green bow. In her left arm, she held Mi-chan.
She beamed at him in delight and Kazuya automatically reached out his arms, as she approached him. Her arms flew around his waist and she held him tight.
“Kazu-nii”, she said excitedly. “Papa showed me and Mi-chan around the hotel.”
Kazuya smiled and got to his knees to hug her back. She nuzzled against him and her nice scent of shampoo and cream embraced him. “You must have had an exciting day then.”
She nodded and drew back a bit. “Papa said it’s okay to call you Kazuya-nii-chan.”
Kazuya just nodded. How in the whole wide world could that be not okay? “It’s okay.” He lifted her up and she wound her arms around his neck.
Over her head, Kazuya spotted Jin who stood at the lift and observed them.
It was amazing, but suddenly, every bad feeling Kazuya had felt before was vanished and he couldn’t even remember them.
With Natsuki on his arms, he approached Jin and a smile formed in his face.
It felt complete, as Jin smiled back.
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Everyone, thank you so much for reading ♥