More than a Feeling /// Kamen Sequel /// Part 5/5 (Oneshot)
banner by naomi0211 ♥♥♥
Title: Kamen //Can you look right through me?//
Pairing: Akanishi Jin x Kazuya Kamenashi //Akame//
Genre: Romance. Angst, Fluff
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I don't make profit with this.
Summary: Feelings are like masks we put on to convey our inner depth. But sometimes it turns out we use those masks to hide our real feelings... How well can Jin read Kazuya's feelings; and in return, how much does Kazuya really understand Jin? After being together for so long, things start to change, and feelings start to disappear behind masks...
A/N: English isn't my mother tongue, but I've been living in the UK for quite a time, so I basically write and speak well. You're welcome to correct any mistakes, though. Of course.
A/N#2: Kamen (仮面) is Japanese for Mask.
A/N#3: This is a sequel story to Kamen, Another Feeling and Forgotten Feelings. It's not entirely needed to have read those, but I'd still recomment it.
The only part you really should have read before reading this, is the short Akame drabble in this post.
Thank you :)
Please note that this part has major references to the original story, especially to chapter 8 and 9!
Puh. So, I fiiiiinaaaaally made it and finished this one-shot. I planned it to be such a short piece and now, it turned out to be so, so, sooo long.
Jin seriously gave me a headache with every news that came up during the past weeks, but I managed to still build my story the way I planned it.
NC-17 in this, just so you know.
Lastly, nana_lytama , I know it may be stupid to do this, since you betaed this last part for me already. But let me dedicate this to you, as you are always so lovely. Thanks for all the kind help ♥
Also, queen_kat_tun , you always, always loved the story so much and since at this point, I consider this an ending, I want to dedicate it to you, as well.
And, blue_eye1 . I don't know if you even still follow, but your comments always, always helped me a lot and made me very happy as they were so detailed and thoughtful. I never asked to be your friend, but this is my official request now! *laugh*
To everyone who read along. I think Kamen comes to an end with this. All of you who followed since it started more than a year ago: THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH. For all the support, nice words and critique this got.
naomi0211 , every part of this story, every word ever written for it, is meant for you. I know you'll never read this and that's fine. It's still for you, because without you, it wouldn't exist in the first place. I love you ♥
Please enjoy reading this <3
Continues from HERE
Jin caught a glimpse at his watch, as he went through some folders on his computer. He stored files, deleted some and renamed them, sorting them by date to make everything easy to find, if he should need those files again.
It was almost midnight and tomorrow by this time, he would already sit in a plane, on his way back to L.A.
Kazuya hadn’t come in the past week to see him even once.
Jin had given back the key, had left it up to Kazuya to deceide what exactly would happen to them and apparently, Kazuya had decided for them to part like they were now.
They had never broken up, but they probably weren’t a couple anymore.
Probably, Jin thought and his moves stilled for a moment, this was Kazuya’s way to tell him they were over.
Humming quietly, Jin closed all folders and looked through the music sheets in front of him. A friend let him use his studio to work in and it was actually really practical. Jin had spent several nights in this room by now.
There was no reason to go home, after all. He could use the time working, instead of sitting in his empty flat and wondering why Kazuya didn’t come to see him.
He heard the door being opened and glanced back over his shoulder quickly. “Perfect timing. I’m just done. Did you get anything with fried chicken?” He sorted the papers into two piles. “I think I don’t want any Japansese food right now.”
“It’s a little early to sing Christmas songs, don’t you think?”
Hin froze and he didn’t turn for a good ten seconds, then he lowered his hands and let go of his breath.
As he turned around, he saw Kazuya leaning against the door frame, a white plastic bag in his hand and his expression not giving any of his thoughts away.
“Did I sing any Christmas song?” Jin frowned. He wasn’t sure what else to say.
Kazuya broke the eye contact, as he smiled slighty and looked at the ground. “One of the sad ones, yeah.”
Jin fell silent to that. He hadn’t noticed.
Kazuya strolled in and put the bag to the desk Jin was working at. His eyes scanned the room, the recording boot at the other side of the huge glass window.
Jin watched him, waiting for what Kazuya had to say.
“It’s not fried chicken, but hamburgers, I think”, Kazuya pointed out with a nod at the plastic bag.
“Thanks”, Jin said, but didn’t make any attempt to reach out for it. “Where is Josh?”
Kazuya smiled slightly at him, before he turned again and sat down at the couch in the corner of the room. The dark leather was cold. “He went home for today.”
Jin nodded, but then, he moved in his chair, so he could face Kazuya again. “He has the key.”
“I know”, Kazuya just answered. “I told him I’ll lock up tonight and bring it back tomorrow.”
Jin frowned and wondered what Kazuya was up to.
Kazuya kept silent, too. He had put his elbow to the armrest of the couch and his head rested on his hand.
“You think you’re really clever, don’t you?”
Jin managed a mischievous smile. “Well, I write my own songs and made it from a boygroup idol to a solo artist. You should be clever in order to get there.”
Kazuya lifted a brow, threw him a short glace. “Yeah, you’re so clever.”
“Are there any other of my good points you want to bring up?”
“I can’t think of much right now”, Kazuya just answered. “In fact, I think you’re quite an idiot.”
Jin leaned back in his chair. “I’ll be going back to L.A. tomorrow to give concerts in the U.S. I don’t see how I am not really clever and smart.”
“I am not talking about your career, Jin”, Kazuya said coldly. “I am alking about our relationship.”
Jin gave him a tired smile. “What I did was for us as work colleagues”, he said matter of factly.
Kazuya took a deep breath, sitting straight now. “You can’t even distinguish between that.”
“I’ll show you”, Jin just said. “I’ll make the person on stage someone different from the person being here right now.”
Kazuya snorted. “You think you could be like me? I saw through you already and you’re not getting away with that.”
“With what?”
“Redlining me from your life”, Kazuya said quietly. “Ignoring me on purpose, excluding me from everything you do.”
“That wouldn’t be clever, indeed”, Jin answered.
“Only, if you think it would make me realise something.”
“And did you realise anything?”
Kazuya narrowed his eyes. “You think you can show me that we can pretty well go for weeks without the other. For months, even. That we don’t necesseraly need each other, even when we have the possibility to be together.”
Jin tilted his head, as if he was greatly interested in what Kazuya told him.
“You think you can give me the key and leave it up to me to deceide, if after all this time we haven’t been together, we could still be as we used to be.”
“And?” Jin smiled slightly. “What conclusion did you make?”
“That we can’t”, Kazuya said firmly.
Jin smiled. “We didn’t talk, we didn’t send each other text messages, we never met privately during the past two months. That was too long to keep anything up. Is that what you’d say?”
Nodding, Kazuya shifted slightly. “If you were okay it that way, fine. I wasn’t.”
The smile grew wider. “That’s the point, Kazuya.”
“Making me suffer?”
“Making you see just how much you want me.”
Kazuya sighed. “That doesn’t…”
“That won’t ever change.”
Kazuya fell silent, after Jin had interrupted him like that.
“And even if I had kept this up for a month longer. You would still have missed me.”
“What kind of sadistic game is that, Jin?”
Jin laughed at Kazuya’s offended tone. “It’s no game. And I am sorry that you suffered”, he said honestly. “I suffered, too.”
Kazuya snorted. “If you had, you wouldn’t have been able to keep it up for so long.”
“But I am really clever, that’s why I could.” Jin leaned in, watching Kazuya closely. “You’re here right now, aren’t you? Because I am leaving tomorrow and you can’t just let me go like that. You love me.”
“You sound way too self-confident for my likings”, Kazuya only commented.
“We didn’t have any contact throughout the past months, we didn’t work on our relationship, didn’t kiss, didn’t cuddle, didn’t have sex. We didn’t actually have a relationship.”
“If you realise that yourself, how can you still think you’re clever?”
“Because you’re still here”, Jin answered. “Because, even though we didn’t actively have a relationship, we still feel just like we used to feel.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been so mad at you before”, Kazuya just pointed out.
Jin laughed gently. “And yet, you just love me the way you always used to, don’t you?”
Kazuya wanted to argue it, but he knew there was no point in doing so. After all, he was here right now. He couldn’t have let Jin leave without seeing him for a last time.
And the reason behind that was just so obvious.
Still, Jin shouldn’t think it was that easy.
“The difference is, Jin”, Kazuya said then, “that from tomorrow on, we can’t see each other anymore. We won’t have the chance to spend the nights together or arrange days off. You won’t be here. But, during the past months, you’ve been here and you avoided me on purpose.”
“You did the same, didn’t you?”
“Because I really had a bad conscience!” Kazuya felt his cheeks turning warmer. “I just didn’t know how to face you.”
“Fine.” Jin shrugged a shoulder. “And I needed time to get over what you’ve done.”
“Jin…”
“I know”, Jin silenced Kazuya. “You’re sorry. I said it’s fine.”
“You would have left anyways.”
“I’m happy with how things are now”, Jin agreed.
Kazuya looked down at his lap. “That doesn’t leave us much of a chnace, does it?”
“I think with how things went over the past months, it gives us quite a good chance.” Jin got up now and moved over to Kazuya, taking the seat next to him. Kazuya shifted closer to the armrest, putting some space between them.
“Why are you here right now, Kazuya?”
“You just need me to say it, don’t you?” Kazuya faced the floor, avoiding looking at Jin.
“You see”, Jin said and leaned a little closer, “I left the decision to you. You have a key to use to get into my apartment. That key means that I want you exactly there where you’ve always been.”
Hearing Jin talking that openly made Kazuya’s stomach ache, like it was twisted in knots. “If you missed me so much, you could have come get me back anytime.”
Jin smiled. “You would not have rejected me, right? You won’t do it now.”
Kazuya lifted his look, shortly glanced at Jin. “You’re using my methods against me.”
“And it works well”, Jin laughed and raised a hand to put it to Kazuya’s back, stroking his fingers alongside it. “Because I am just as clever as you are.”
Kazuya had to laugh at that and he leaned into the touch, blinking his eyes slowly. “I’m smarter than you.”
Jin sighed. “Those are not the words I was waiting for.”
“You’ll leave for more than a month again. What’s the point in saying them now?”
“The point is, you’ll still mean them, when I come back.”
“Don’t be too sure.”
Jin tilted his head and he brushed his lips over Kazuya’s ear, soft breath running over Kazuya’s temple. “I am very sure.”
Kazuya closed his eyes, getting weak to the caressing lips pleasing his skin, whispering in his ears. “Nothing is the same anymore”, he just said, before he turned his head abruptly and caught Jin’s lips in a kiss.
He simply held them with his, didn’t move any more than that, until Jin leaned in, adjusted their positions and ran a hand through Kazuya’s hair. He rested it in Kazuya’s nape, pulled him in and and Jin started to gently nip those lips, softly bit Kazuya’s lower lip, before he sucked it in.
Kazuya returned the move, until Jin’s tongue ran over the flesh of his lips and Kazuya nudged it with his own, encouraging Jin to expand further into his mouth. It was sweet and tentative, as Jin explored, ran his tongue over Kazuya’s and then, slowly pulled back.
They opened their eyes in the same moment, finding each other’s look immediately, before their locked lips again and this time, shared a deeper kiss, a more passionate one.
But rather than to seduce, the kiss was conveying their feelings, the desire they had been holding in for so long.
Jin pressed Kazuya back against the couch, his hand cupping Kazuya’s jaw, fingers tenderly caressing the soft skin. He repeated the whole procedure, kissed Kazuya without leaving him a chance to withdraw from him or reject it.
And Kazuya wouldn’t have been able to. He breathily murmured Jin’s name under his breath, whenever Jin’s lips left his for a moment. His hand were stroking up and down Jin’s sides, pulling him closer, erasing any space that was left between them.
“I’ll get killed, if we have sex on this couch”, Jin said, as he finally pulled away, lips swollen and wet.
“You want to stop?” Kazuya’s voice and look were so indignant that it almost made Jin laugh.
“I don’t want to be hunted down and killed”, Jin answered, his lips already busy again with pleasuring the skin of Kazuya’s neck.
“Well”, Kazuya managed to choke out and he closed his eyes, as Jin started to suck beneath his ear. “I’ll definitely kill you before they can, if you stop now.”
His breath was hot over the wet trace he had left on Kazuya’s skin, as Jin laughed again. His hands were already undoing Kazuya’s jeans, opening the belt.
Kazuya shoved his hands beneath Jin’s simple white tshirt, lifted it up, so he could run his fingers over Jin’s torso. He broke their kiss to pull it over Jin’s head and toss it to the side. Still sitting next to each other with their chests facing, Kazuya shifted and leaned in, made Jin lose his balance and fall to his back.
Kazuya landed on top of him and adjusted his position, straddling Jin’s waist. He looked down at his face, as he ran a finger over Jin’s cheek, down to his neck and then over his collar bone.
Jin shivered, arching beneath Kazuya and his lips parted in a silent moan.
Kazuya smiled knowingly.
He leaned in and followed the trace of his finger with his lips. He took his time caressing Jin’s collar bone with his lips and tongue and looked up, when Jin started to chuckle.
“It tickles”, he explained, his hand gently shoving Kazuya’s fringe from his eyes. “You lick like a cat.”
“You never complained about how I lick before.”
Jin smiled and sat up slightly, propped himself up on his elbows to catch Kazuya’s lips in another kiss. “This is not a complaint at all.”
Kazuya just smiled, felt Jin smiling back against his lips and strated to unbutton his own shirt. Jin helped him out of it, tugging it from Kazuya’s wrists to drop it to the floor.
Framing Jin’s face, as his hand were free again, Kazuya took another long, passionate and tender kiss, before Jin’s hand suddenly came between them and ran over the bulge in Kazuya’s jeans. He hissed and broke the kiss, a moan escaping his lips.
Jin smiled and moved his hand more firmly, until Kazuya fell into pace with his movements, thrusting his hips against Jin’s hand.
The rhythm was slow and Jin felt Kazuya growing harder beneath his hand, the friction against his own erection stimulating him just as much.
Kazuya seemed to notice from the way Jin closed his eyes and bit his lip occasionally, so he stopped his movements and shifted down Jin’s body to make space. He unbuttoned Jin’s jeans and slid them down to his knees, lifting himself up to remove them completely. Jin tugged at the fabric of Kazuya’s and they were tossed aside shortly after.
The couch creaked beneath them, as Jin pulled Kazuya down onto his chest and then flipped them aound.
Kazuya gave him a quick glance of disapproval and he got goosebumps from the sudden coolness of the leather beneath his skin.
But he quickly forgot about being beneath and being cold, as Jin’s lips left a wet trace across his chest. He gave his best attention to caressing one of Kazuya’s nipples, licked and bit and kissed, until it was red at swollen.
Jin continued downwards and flicked his tongue over Kazuya’s navel, his hands firmly holding Kazuya’s hips.
Kazuya swallowed thickly and tilted his head back, waiting for Jin to get to where they both wanted his lips. He knew he murmured nonsense, knew he gave off a desperate image, but he couldn’t stop himself from it.
Jin didn’t seem to mind and as he felt Kazuya tense beneath him, arche up slightly to Jin’s touch, he was rather satisfied with it.
Slowly, Jin darted out his tongue and licked Kazuya, before he took him into his mouth. He was gentle and hesitatant to give Kazuya time to adjust to it and only when Kazuya started to move his hips in a slow rhythm, Jin picked it up and moved his head in the same.
Using his tongue and teeth, Jin angled his head to the side and he swallowed around Kazuya, making humming sounds from his throat. Kazuya hissed, his hands desperately trying to find hold, but there was othing to grip, as the leather beneath them was too hard. Jin thought he would have been eager enough to do Kazuya the favour and reach out a hand to give Kazuya hold, but Jin’s hands were both busy with throwing Kazuya into that guilty pleasure.
Kazuya shifted, threw his head back and his fingers now gripped his own hair, as if he tried to distract the pain from his loins to somewhere else.
As Jin noticed Kazuya coming close to the edge, he pulled back and Kazuya made a protesting whine, as the warmth around him was suddenly gone. Jin shifted up again and caressed Kazuya’s face lightly, stroking some strands from his sweaty forehead. He smiled, before he took Kazuya’s hand, laced their fingers and pressed his lips back to Kazuya’s.
With a gasp Kazuya made a surprised sound at his own taste on Jin’s lips and tongue, but responded to it as well as he could.
“I hate you”, he choked out, as the kiss had ended, quietly and breathily, his voice hoarse.
Jin simply smiled at that, his hand slightly squeezing Kazuya’s. “That’s not what you should be saying while having sex with me, Kazuya.”
Kazuya just shook his head, his hand gripping Jin’s tighter. “You just leave me no chance.”
Jin knew that Kazuya didn’t mean it, that he was just upset; because for now, he had figured himself what all this was about.
And that Jin had never left him a choice, a decision to make in the first place.
Kazuya closed his eyes and buried his face in the mould of Jin’s neck, trying to suppress his feelings.
He didn’t open them anymore, not even later, when Jin was gently moving inside him, stroking him tenderly and soft, giving Kazuya the most pleasurable feelings.
Only, when he came, when the orgasm rolled over him and Jin’s name fell from his lips in a constant rhythm, he finally opened them again and the expression he saw in Jin’s face was the exact same as his own.
The tear that strolled down from the corner of his eye and over his temple into his messy hair just escaped and Kazuya tried to convince himself that it was just because of the pain; the sweet pain that always came along with having Jin inside him.
As Jin followed him, arched his back and shoved Kazuya’s knees up, he closed his eyes again, letting all his feelings taking over.
He whispered Jin’s name again, heard Jin answering saying Kazuya’s.
And in that moment, Jin was only his; and he was only Jin’s.
Jin gently ran his thumb over the small wet trace and he wiped it, leaving his hand on Kazuya’s cheek. His face was buried at Kazuya’s neck, his chest heaving from his short and heavy breath.
Kazuya pressed his lips together and nuzzled closer, holding Jin to his chest with one hand, while he still held Jin’s with the other.
“It’s just the circumstances that changed”, Jin said then. “But we are still the way we used to be.”
Kazuya kept silent for a moment, wondering what he was supposed to answer. “Last time, we figured out that’s not enough.”
Jin nodded. “It’s not different this time.”
“So why exactly did I sleep with you just now?”
“Because you told me you’d kill me, if I stop.”
Kazuya managed a slight laugh.
“You’re simply more talkative after sex”, Jin added then.
Kazuya smiled, knowing Jin was right. He tended to speak his mind, let Jin know what he felt after they had slept together. “We should have done it in your flat.”
Jin lifted his head slightly to look at Kazuya. He tilted his head, his look questioning.
“I would have liked to do it with you for a last time in a place that I can return to.”
Jin’s expression got soft and he nipped Kazuya’s jaw. It gave him a warm feeling to know Kazuya planned to still use Jin’s flat, even when Jin would be gone. It would stay just like it had always been. “We can go there now and do it three or four more last times.”
Kazuya felt his sweat getting cold, their bodies still sticking together, but cooling out. “I can’t.”
Jin shook his head. “You rather want to end it right now?”
Pressing his lips together, Kazuya tilted his head, until he could press them to Jin’s forehead. “It was your idea.”
“But you got the point that I’ll be coming back.”
“And that we’ll end up like this again? Yeah, I got that”, Kazuya agreed. “But you’ll leave again after that, too.”
Jin kept quiet. He knew it was true. Trying to build a career overseas required him being right there. He would come back to Japan, but he wouldn’t always be here.
“So, is this what it’ll be like from now on?” Kazuya unconciously ran his hand up and down Jin’s spine. “We break up and have occasional sex, when you’re in town?”
Jin stiffened in Kazuya’s arms. “That sounds cheap.”
“But it hits the nail, doesn’t it?”
Not answering, Jin held on tighter.
“I definitely don’t want that.” Kazuya just sighed slightly. “You’ve said it yourself, didn’t you? We’re not shaped out for a long distance relationship.”
“I know what I’ve said.”
“But you also said you don’t treasure anyone as much as me”, Kazuya continued.
Jin nodded. “I told you that the decision is up to you, didn’t I?”
Kazuya waited for a moment. “What’s the point, if I decided we stay together, if you don’t want us to in the first place?”
“You don’t want it, either”, Jin immediately answered.
“I think I want to stay with you in the same way you want to stay with me.” Kazuya took a deep breath, shivering. He wasn’t sure if it was the cold or from what he was about to say. “But I know just as well as you do that it won’t work.”
Jin swallowed thickly. “There’s just…”, he stopped and gathered his thoughts, tried to find words that sounded less harsh. But he couldn’t find them. “… no room for a relationship right now.”
Hearing it, hurt more than Kazuya had thought. He had realised it already, had known it was what would lead to a break-up in the end. But facing it in reality was just so much harder to take. “There’s no room for me in your life anymore.”
Jin sat up now and ran his hands over his face, through his hair. “You know pretty well that it’s not because I stopped loving you.”
Kazuya turned, so he could face Jin properly. “I know you didn’t.”
Jin looked at him, waited. Then he pulled a face. “Kazuya.”
A smile traced Kazuya’s lips and he shifted closer to Jin’s warmth. “What’s the point in saying ‘I love you, too’? It won’t make you change your mind.”
“I know that you do. You don’t have to say it.” Jin watched him with keen eyes.
“And what’s the point in saying I’d be waiting for you? I probably won’t.”
Jin reached out his hand to run his fingers through those soft brunette strands. “You will. You’ve waited for the past two months.”
“I’ll probably get tired of it.”
“So, you want a definite end?”
Kazuya kept silent, let Jin caress his face with gentle touchs. “Yes”, he said then. “I think that would be easier.”
Jin just went on stroking his fingers alongside Kazuya’s cheek. “It’s your decision.”
Smiling over that, Kazuya closed his eyes, stayed where he was, as Jin got up. He heard the rustling sound of Jin putting on his clothes, shuffling through the room. A cigarette was lit, Kazuya could smell the familiar scent of Jin’s favourite brand.
“You locked the door”, he heard Jin ask after a moment and opened his eyes again, seeing Jin standing in the door frame, frowning.
Kazuya took his shirt and put it back on, gripping his shorts then to at least wear something to cover himself. “Josh did.”
Jin tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
With a mischiveous smile, Kazuya got up and walked over to Jin, giving him a light kiss. Jin didn’t respond to it, but Kazuya could see he understood in a matter of seconds.
Understood what Kazuya had been up to from the very moment he had showed up there.
“I think we are locked up in here.”
Jin stared out of the small window in the plane the next evening.
They’d been up in the air for almost an hour now and Jin was just waiting for everything to calm down.
He was sitting alone, his bag resting on his knees, a hand securely placed over it.
This morning, he had woken up to the sound of Josh coming into the studio. Kazuya had been gone already, no trace of him left.
Only, a small package had been lying next to Jin, wrapped in purple paper decorated with black stripes. The key to the studio had been lying on top of it.
It had been a lie, Jin thought.
Kazuya had had the key all the time, pretending Josh had locked them up inside and taken the key home with him.
The night had been like a déjà-vu of that night almost a year ago. Being locked up together, they had settled on pretending that what they shared was enough, was everything that mattered. Just like they had back then.
Falling asleep in Kazuya’s arms, Jin’s head resting on Kazuya’s shoulder and Kazuya’s arms securely wrapped around him, Jin had realised that it was the only place he wanted to be.
And that it probably was the only place he could never work hard enough for to get there. Because it wasn’t anything he could accomplish with hard work.
After all, Kazuya had decided that they should end it completely.
Jin looked around and as he saw everyone around him sleeping or being abused in their own business, he pulled out the small package and moved it in his hands.
He had stared at it for a long time that morning. A small note sticking on its top read: Don’t open it before you’re in the plane or in your hotel.
Jin had given it a thought, whether he should have opened it the very moment he had found it, but in the end, he respected Kazuya’s request and had waited.
It was something hard and something small and soft lay on top. Jin had figured it was a book and he really wondered what kind of book Kazuya could give him.
As he removed the wrapping paper now, he caught a glimpse at the inside and in matters of seconds, he had wrapped it again, his face bright red and his eyes checking, if anyone had seen it.
As he had made sure no one was watching him, he slowly lifted the wrapping paper again and looked at the framed picture in his hand.
It showed them, not too long ago; Jin remembered Kazuya had taken it with his mobile phone. They lay in bed, their chests bare and Jin’s head was resting on Kazuya’s shoulder, his eyes closed. Kazuya had his lips pressed to Jin’s hair, his eyes half-lidded, almost closed, his arm securely wound around Jin’s shoulders. His hand was loosely placed on Jin’s upper arm.
It couldn’t look any more loving, Jin thought and took the frame; the expression in Kazuya’s face, the way he held Jin, it was just so perfectly loving.
Jin felt it clenching his heart to look at it and it made him miss Kazuya immediately.
They had probably made a wrong decision.
Then, he took the small bag that had lain on top of the picture. It was soft and deep red and something hard was inside, Jin pulled it out, along with a piece of paper.
It was probably the most definite gesture Kazuya could have made and Jin felt his heart skipping a beat as he looked at it.
The metal was cold, red and pink colours framed the character for Love and the charm was attached to the silvery key to Jin’s flat.
Jin fisted his hand around it and put it to his forehead for a moment, closing his eyes and trying to keep his self-control.
It hurt; hurt much more than the conversation they had last night, hurt much more than waking up alone, finding that Kazuya had lied and left without a goodbye.
It hurt to have Kazuya give back what was symbol for their feelings, for everything they shared.
Jin swallowed thickly and opened the note, his fist tight around the key and charm.
He let go of his breath, his expression turning soft.
After all, he should have expected this from Kazuya. He always was a step ahead of Jin and in the end, he made the decisions for them.
But, for this one matter, for this issue, it was for once not up to Kazuya.
This time, it had been up to Jin and Jin had decided and Kazuya had just followed him along, dealing with that in his way.
Looking at the picture once more, Jin pressed his lips together, traced a finger over Kazuya’s image, before he folded the note again and put it back into the small, soft bag together with the key and charm. Then, he searched his bag for his keys and got the chain out, removing the key to Kazuya’s flat together with his charm and slid them inside the small red bag, too.
Jin let it altogether disappear into his bag, closing it and putting it beneath the seat in front of him.
With a distant look, he kept watching the darkness outside.
He wouldn’t open that tiny, red bag anytime soon again.
Jin,
I know you said you don’t like the picture. But I know you lied.
It shows where I want you to be and where I want you to return to someday. You still have the key to my flat. I want you to only use it, if you are sure you made enough room to give yours back to me.
Until then, it wouldn’t be right for me to have it.
I am sorry,
Kazuya.
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Thank you very much for reading ♥
What can I add? I did what felt most natural to me once again. And since no one trusts me to put happy endings to my stories ever since Seven Days, I figured I could also end this in the way it felt most appropriate to me.
Thanks a lot to everyone who read along and who enjoyed the drama those two went through ♥
I hope you are not disappointed with this, with me and with my decision. I don't view the ending as a sad one, though. I think, everything is still open for them. :)
I consider this as an ending right now, but... well, I said that so many times before for this fic, so... who knows *lol*
See you for my next project!
Until then,
Much Love,
Shai ♥