Drowned in Silence /// Third Word: Attraction
(A/N: this is actually continuing from the prologue, so if you don't know exactly anymore what happened, I'd recomment to reread that one. The time line for this simply is: Chapter 1 - Chapter 2- Prologue - Chapter 3. The prologue was just taken out of the story as a teaser :D)
For a moment, everything Jin could do was to stare.
Kazuya had leaned back, his head resting against the wall and with that, he had put a distance between them. They weren’t touching anymore, at all.
“Did you meet Koki?”
Kazuya nodded, but then he shrugged a shoulder. “I met him that day.”
“And he told you about what I was saying”, Jin concluded, making a move closer to Kazuya. “Listen, he totally…”
“Don’t even start the lies, Jin”, Kazuya interrupted and looked at him. “He didn’t tell me about it. I stood right behind you.”
Jin blinked his eyes. “You were there?”
“Just by accident, though.”
“You should have said something.”
Kazuya laughed slightly. “I didn’t feel like that, after finding out you have a girlfriend.”
“She’s not…”, Jin started, but trailed off, as Kazuya smiled at him.
“What, Jin? Special? She is, we both know she has something to her that’s special, otherwise you would not have picked her.”
Jin didn’t know what to say to that. Kazuya was right, it was exactly that way. “She’s the first one, since… ever since… then.”
Kazuya simply nodded, stepped to the side to get away then. “I am glad then that you found someone.”
“Kazuya”, Jin said and gripped the younger one’s wrist, before he could escape. “You just said you missed me, you just kissed me back. Don’t act like you were okay with it.”
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder, didn’t turn to Jin. “Honestly, Jin, I don’t see it any differently from you. It was just a week, it didn’t mean anything.”
Jin remained silent, then he tugged at Kazuya’s wrist, pulled him closer. “Is it like that?”
Trying to keep calm, Kazuya nodded his head slowly. “It was nothing but a fling for both of us.”
“It’s fine to tell that Koki or anyone else”, Jin said softly. “But, in front of me, Kazuya…” He thought about it for a moment, let his hand slide down a bit, until he could lace their fingers. “You told me back then that you loved me.”
“You thought the same, didn’t you? And found that you were wrong.”
“Were we?”
Kazuya still didn’t turn. “Stop those games, Jin, it’s really not amusing.”
“It is ought not to be.”
“Then why are you…” His words ended in a surprised noise, as Jin tugged Kazuya against his chest, put his free arm around the smaller boy’s shoulders.
“You know why”, he murmured close to Kazuya’s ear.
“It’s just the past getting back at us, Jin.” Kazuya knew he should, but he didn’t fetch away. He stood as he was, embraced by Jin’s warmth.
“I don’t think it’s just that”, the older male answered and placed a kiss to Kazuya’s jaw. “We were special, weren’t we?”
That clenched Kazuya’s heart and he bit his lip, definitely enjoying this too much. Of course, they’d been. They had shared so much in that one week; had experienced so many important feelings and things. No one could ever mean to Kazuya what Jin meant to him.
“Then, break up with her?” The question left his lips, softly, quietly, before he could even think of it and Kazuya felt Jin tensing at his back.
He didn’t get to know what Jin was about to say or do, however, since right at that moment, Tegoshi came around the corner and froze right at that point, staring at them.
They both didn’t move, drew away from each other quickly or tried to put on an act to hide what Tegoshi had just seen.
Jin slowly entangled his arm from around Kazuya’s shoulders, let go of the younger one’s hand, as he stepped away.
Kazuya fidgeted with his clothes, looking down.
“Kame…?” Tegoshi frowned.
Kazuya wasn’t sure what to say. Tegoshi was his closest friend, after all, and probably he had figured out that much already - since Kazuya had never dated girls. It was still hard to come up with anything to say now.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you”, Tegoshi murmured and bowed to them lightly, before he turned on his heels.
Kazuya didn’t even think about it, his feet moved themselves and he dashed after Tegoshi, without another word to Jin.
“Yuya, wait!” Kazuya reached him, held him back by his wrist. “I… I’m sorry.”
Tegoshi stared at the older boy, then he started to chuckle. “What exactly are you apologizing for?”
Kazuya took a shaky breath, laughing slightly, as well. “I don’t really know.”
Tegoshi looked back at the main room, spotted the table. “No one’s asked yet why you’re not back. Go and settle things with him first.”
“We’re not…”
Tegoshi just smiled. “I don’t buy that, Kame. So, don’t even try.”
“But”, Kazuya started and gave the smaller boy an indignant look, “we’re not like that.”
Tegoshi looked at him for a moment, before he shrugged a shoulder. “I figured you must have something going on with someone during that time you spent in that place”, he said then. “So, it was a boy. And what?”
It felt awkward to talk about it and Kazuya knew it didn’t help much, because it meant he hadn’t changed much since he and Jin had parted two years ago. He still gave too much about what people were saying and thinking about them.
But finding Tegoshi so acceptant of it, reassured him a bit.
“I don’t need to go back”, he said slowly.
Tegoshi blinked, looked past Kazuya at the corner to the restrooms, but didn’t say anything about it. He just nodded and went ahead.
Kazuya shivered, as he thought of how Jin had just embraced him and bit his lip slightly, before he turned once more, just in the moment, Jin appeared.
Kazuya looked at him, pressed his lips together. “Let’s be reasonable, Jin.”
The older one smiled slightly. “Yeah, let’s.”
Almost surprised by that answer, Kazuya swallowed thickly, then he raised his hand slightly, nodded. “Take care.”
Jin didn’t answer, just watched the younger male, as he followed his friend back to the table.
“See you again”, he murmured and made his way to the door to leave the shop.
Jin didn’t believe there’d ever be a real goodbye between them.
They’d surely meet again.
“Kame, that guy you went to school with; what was his name again?”
Kazuya turned his head from the magazine he was reading in and looked at Yamashita, raising a brow. Then he pointed his finger to the guy in front of the camera; Tegoshi.
“I know that much”, Yamashita said and rolled his eyes. “I mean the other one. The one that studies here, as well, and went to high school together with you and Jin.”
Kazuya blinked and tilted his head. “Koki?”
“Ah, that was it.” Yamashita leaned back. “Can you contact him?”
“What do you want from Koki?”
Grinning, Yamashita leaned closer to Kazuya, as if he didn’t want anyone else to listen. “I gather Jin’s friends for next Saturday. It’ll be his birthday.”
Jin’s birthday, Kazuya thought and put down the magazine. He had never known when exactly it was.
So, Jin would turn twenty; the most important birthday of all - his coming of age.
“Doesn’t he have a girlfriend to spend that day with?”
Yamashita laughed. “I don’t care what he does for the day, but he’s definitely going to spend the night with us; hanging out and partying in some cool club.”
Kazuya snorted, then he froze and gave Yamashita a frown. “Wait. Us?”
“Sure, I invited everyone along who’s friends with Jin.”
“We’re not friends.” Kazuya said the words, before thinking about them.
“But you went to the same high school.”
“For a few months, Pi, and we’ve known each other for a week, before I left to come here.”
“But you know each other”, Yamashita pointed out.
“You wouldn’t even call us acquaintances.”
“It doesn’t matter, anyway”, Yamashita said and shrugged his shoulders. “I just want us to have fun that night. And the more people come, the funnier it gets.”
Kazuya sighed. “I don’t have time. But I can call Koki up for you.”
“Of course you have time. No”, the older one said quickly, as Kazuya just opened his mouth. “Training is not an excuse.”
“But…”
“No. You’re coming with us. It’ll be fun, and you definitely need to loosen up. The occasion has finally come, Kame.”
“I am loose”, Kazuya corrected in the moment, Tegoshi came over to them.
“Tegoshi, how does party Saturday night sound to you?” Yamashita pointed his finger at the youngest one.
He blinked for a moment, looked at Kazuya, then he shrugged a shoulder. “When? Where?”
“You see?” Yamashita pointed back to Kazuya. “He is loose, you’re totally not.”
“Okay, fine, whatever!” Kazuya got up and walked over to the set. “I’ll be there.”
As the job was done, Kazuya left together with Tegoshi, as usual, but got off a few stations earlier than his friend.
It was Thursday already, so he didn’t have much time left to get something for Jin’s birthday. He knew he shouldn’t care and just go there, enjoy the evening as if the occasion was nothing but good friends coming together.
But Kazuya couldn’t do that. It was Jin’s birthday, after all, and if he’d see the older one that day, being aware of the fact it was Jin’s birthday, he just couldn’t go there with empty hands.
It was the first time Kazuya bought a present for someone who was not just a friend. In the past years, the only one he had bought presents for had been Tegoshi - and that had been rather easy, since he knew the younger one well, and they had spent so much time together. He knew what kind of clothes he could buy for Tegoshi, that everything soccer-related would make him happy and that he loved skull-patterned things.
But when it came to Jin, Kazuya was rather clueless.
He frowned over that thought, the fact that, after all, Jin was so important to him, even though Kazuya did know so little about him.
He couldn’t quite grasp it, why Jin was so important, why he felt that way and why he even wanted to get something special for Jin.
But it just was like that.
As something caught his eye, Kazuya frowned and bent down to have a closer look. He smiled slightly, gripped it and thought it over for a moment.
It surely was cheesy, childish even and something he would rather buy for a girl, probably. But he couldn’t resist it.
It was the only thing he could connect Jin to; the only thing that probably even connected them.
Jin frowned as he read the text message Yamashita had just sent him.
There had been birthday wishes and instructions to sleep long and spend the day relaxed. Yamashita would come to pick him up at eight and he’d better look decent then.
Jin frowned at that, read through it again.
It most likely just meant they were going to go out that night.
In that case, Jin thought, and fell back to his pillows again, he would just stay home and have a lazy day. That was, what he wanted most, anyway.
Birthdays never meant anything special to him.
He could remember his eighteenth, two years ago. Back then, he had thought that eighteen probably was one of those important birthdays, one you would spend with all of your friends, going out to karaoke or a dinner.
Shortly after that, he had met Kazuya and from then on, things had changed.
Jin had finished school before his nineteenth birthday, so he had never experienced what it was like to celebrate it with friends from school. He had known Yamashita already then, but they hadn’t been that close then, so this year’s birthday turned out to be the first one he would actually celebrate with friends.
He was feeling oddly excited about it.
It was just shortly after lunch and Jin had just decided to probably take a nap to make time go by, as his door bell rang. With a look at his watch, Jin strolled over to the door of his small apartment and to open up.
He blinked, as he saw Mirai, fresh and pretty as ever, smiling widely at him.
“Happy Birthday!” She stepped closer and made Jin’s heart skip a beat with getting to her toes and placing a light kiss to his cheek.
“I…” Jin cleared his throat. “Why don’t you come in?”
Smiling, she accepted the offer, got out of her shoes and waited for Jin to go ahead.
“I didn’t expect you to come, so it’s…”
She smiled and sat down at the table in the middle of the room, putting the bag she had brought next to her.
Somehow, Jin thought, Mirai seemed way too classy for this little flat. It was just one room, basically. Jin’s bed at the wall beneath the little window, unmade and messy, the small table in the middle of the room, books spread over it, as well as papers and sweets. His kitchen was a small slot next to the entrance and Jin thought he better didn’t look over now, checking how long ago it had been he’d last done the wash up.
He noticed Mirai looking around a bit and was thankful that at least his clothes didn’t lie around anywhere. Hopefully, she wouldn’t ask to use the bathroom; Jin wouldn’t guarantee there weren’t any lying on the floor there.
“It’s… pretty messy”, he said, without apologizing for it.
Mirai laughed slightly. “I didn’t expect it to look any other. You live alone, after all.”
“Well, I arranged myself.” Jin sat down across from her at the table.
“It’s nice”, Mirai said and looked at one o the books. “It looks comfortable.”
“You’re lying now, aren’t you?”
She laughed again, her eyes sparkling in amusement. “I am really not. It would be a bit more comfortable if it wasn’t that messy, but it’s still fine.”
Jin smiled and it kept silent between them for a while. He didn’t really know what to say; it was the first time he had a girl over in his flat.
“Ah, right”, she mumbled and gripped the bag, pushing it over the table to Jin. “That’s for you.”
“You bought something for my birthday?” Jin looked into the bag, saw a box wrapped in black and silver. “What is it?”
“Open it”, Mirai instructed.
Jin threw her a look, smiled shyly. “Thanks.”
“You have not yet seen it.”
“No, I mean… for thinking of it. You’re the only one who bothered to get me something.”
She blushed, looked down at her hands. “I just… it’s natural to get you something for your birthday, isn’t it?”
Jin opened the box, looked at a silvery strap with a miniature of a soccer ball and a star attached.
“It’s for key chains or your mobile, or… well, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to use it”, she said quickly, as Jin didn’t react.
He looked up at her, took the strap out of the box and held it up against the light. “It’s cute”, he said then and heard her sigh slightly in relief.
She was a good girl, Jin thought. For everything she did, she put a lot of thought and she always put others first. She had most likely spent a whole afternoon thinking about what to get him, wandering through shops to find something. After all, this was pretty girlish, but it was also cute. Something people would notice and know, Jin had gotten it from a girl.
It was clever, but he also knew, Mirai hadn’t bought it to remind Jin of their relationship, but because it also meant he was she only one she wanted to be claimed by.
It was different, Jin knew that; different from how he’d been with Kazuya and nothing would ever be comparable to hoe he felt for the other boy. But even so, Jin felt affection for Mirai, not only because she reminded him of Kazuya, but also, because she was so very pure and natural in her own way.
“Thank you”, he said and gripped his mobile from the table, fiddling with the strap to attach it, then he leaned in and kissed her cheek, just as lightly as she had kissed his before.
Mirai blushed, avoided looking at him. “You’re welcome.”
Feeling much calmer than before, Jin got up again. “How about lunch?”
She looked up at him, blinking.
“Not here, of course”, Jin said and laughed slightly, finding the look she gave him extremely adorable. He felt a bit bad, though, every time again, when she did. It just always reminded him of Kazuya, when she looked so surprised, and Jin couldn’t even say why, because their faces didn’t even have similar features. “Give me some minutes to change, okay?”
She smiled and nodded then. “Sounds great.”
Jin looked at his watch, as he got to his bathroom, gripping a few clothes to change into on his way. There was still enough time left.
It felt strange, he thought, being attracted to two people at the same time, and even though he knew that the one, the right one and the one he wanted in the end, was Kazuya, he didn’t want to let go of Mirai yet, either.
It was selfish of him, he was aware of that, and for a while Mirai had just been like a replacement for Kazuya for him, but by now, he had learned that there was probably more to that.
The only thing he could do, was to find out what it was about her that attracted him so much; that just made him want to keep her close.
It was shortly before eight and Kazuya didn’t really feel in the mood to go out, but he had said he’d come, so now he didn’t have any choice.
His mood lightened up a bit, when he saw Koki coming out of the train they had been waiting for.
“Hey!” Kazuya waved him over. “I am glad you could make it.”
“I surely won’t miss the fun”, Koki said and then looked at the others, introducing himself.
Ryo raised a brow at him, but nodded back in a friendly way. It seemed he was just looking at everyone like that, so Kazuya didn’t really mind.
They left the station and Yamashita and Ryo went ahead; Tegoshi, Kazuya and Koki following them down the street.
“Okay, wait here, I’ll go get him down”, Yamashita said and disappeared into the building.
Kazuya looked at it more closely, finding it appeared neat and pretty normal to him.
“Have you met Jin yet?”
He looked back at Koki and nodded. “Last week. It seems we’re both friends with Yamashita.”
Koki nodded. “Then, he won’t be too surprised to meet you today.”
“He didn’t seem that surprised when we did, though.” Kazuya shrugged a shoulder. “We both don’t cling to that, Koki. It was strange; something rare, indeed, but nothing that would make us feel still attached.”
Koki didn’t answer anymore and Kazuya noticed Tegoshi looking at them, giving him a smile now. Kazuya smiled back slightly, wondering if that had made any sense for the younger one, but didn’t talk any more about it.
He got distracted, though, as the door was opened again and Yamashita came back, laughing about something and looking over his shoulders. Then, Jin followed. He saw Ryo first and greeted him with some strange hand move, before he saw Tegoshi and frowned. He immediately turned and looked at Kazuya directly.
“I invited them. It’s more fun with a lot of people, don’t you think?” Yamashita gripped Jin’s shoulder, squeezed it.
“Yeah, sure”, Jin answered and greeted Koki, as well. “It’ll be much more fun, then.”
Somehow, Kazuya couldn’t help but feel that Jin meant it another way than Yamashita and the look Koki gave him didn’t help that, at all.
It wasn’t far from Jin’s place, actually, so it took them a mere ten minutes to arrive at the club.
Tegoshi caught up with Yamashita. “The three of us aren’t twenty, is it going to be okay to take us along?”
Yamashita just patted the smaller boy’s head, grinned then. “They don’t ask for that in this club. I know the manager, so there won’t be any problem.”
“Pi’s come here, ever since he’s been sixteen”, Jin added and Tegoshi threw him a look.
And just like that, they walked in, past the security and Yamashita, Jin and Ryo were greeted by some people immediately.
They went over to a lounge with red and black seats, small tables and dim light. Music was playing loudly, but the club wasn’t full yet.
Kazuya had just taken a seat, as someone came and placed a bottle of Champaign at their table, handing a glass to everyone.
Kazuya threw Tegoshi a look and they both frowned at each other.
“You know, Jin, if you’re clever you take one of the ladies home tonight”, Ryo pointed out. “Making a birthday present to yourself.”
Jin just glanced at Kazuya for a second, but the younger one seemed distracted by his surrounding.
“Why would I?” Jin shrugged a shoulder and waited for everyone being served with a drink.
“To you”, Yamashita said, lifting his glass. “Happy Birthday, Jin!”
Kazuya had to admit the evening was fun. He enjoyed it a lot; Yamashita and Ryo were both rather nice and while drinking and talking, he loosened up, even around Jin. Kazuya could laugh normally, talk like he used to talk around friends, without feeling uncomfortable because of Jin.
“What’s that?” Yamashita gripped Jin’s mobile that lay at the table, held it, so that the strap was swinging in front of his eyes.
“It’s from Mirai, isn’t it?”
Jin noticed Kazuya wasn’t paying attention to them and gripped it from Yamashita’s hands. “None of your business.”
“What?” Yamashita leaned in again, took it from Jin and now, the others were watching them. “It’s so girly.”
“That’s because it is from a girl, idiot.” Jin tried to get a hold of Yamashita’s hand.
Kazuya frowned, saw them fighting over Jin’s mobile, then Jin got a hold of it and took it back. He saw the pendant attached to it, knowing immediately, that was what they had been talking about.
“Now, how cute”, Ryo interfered. “It’s a phone strap from his girlfriend.”
Kazuya bit his lip, took another sip of his drink and ignoring the short looks he got from Tegoshi and Koki.
“You should really not waste your time like that and just take someone home tonight”, Ryo went on.
“I don’t see why I should cheat on my girlfriend”, Jin pointed out.
“Because it’s boring.”
Yamashita laughed. “Leave him, Ryo. Look, he’s still like a teenager”, he joked and nudged Jin’s shoulder. “Happy about such childish things like this strap.”
“I think it’s nice”, Kazuya spoke up and they all looked at him. “What is wrong about cherishing a relationship or being seriously in love?”
Ryo grinned. “You’re like that, too?”
Kazuya blushed slightly, knowing he had said too much, but Koki spoke up for him.
“It’s just that we know a completely different side of Jin. Back then in high school, he dated a different girl each week.”
Yamashita laughed loudly, patting Jin’s shoulder. “So, that’s what you were like?”
Jin managed a laugh, as well, looked at him. “It was quite easy that way.”
“I should have done that in my high school time, too”, Ryo sighed. “That sounds perfect.”
Jin shrugged a shoulder. “It probably wasn’t.” As everyone looked at him in slight confusing - except for Kazuya, who was looking at his glass - he shrugged a shoulder. “I stopped with that dating spree, after I met one person who would have really been worth dating them seriously.”
“And true love came around the corner”, Yamashita said dryly.
Jin giggled. “Something like that, yeah. But that person didn’t want me; that person was just playing as I had been playing before. So, I learned my lesson.”
Kazuya looked up, his eyes stern.
But again, he didn’t get to say something, since Koki spoke up first: “You deserved it.”
Jin grinned at him. “Apparently. Look, now I am such a good guy.”
They dropped the topic, going back to more superficial ones, getting drunk just a little more, before they decided to leave.
“I need to sleep”, Yamashita said on their way to the station. “I’ll have a job at eight in the morning and I need to look decent.”
“You always look decent”, Ryo told him. “You’re a damn model.”
Tegoshi giggled at that, fell back behind the others with Kazuya. “Jin could easily join our agency, too, don’t you think?”
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder. “I think so. He’s always been popular with the girls.”
“Dating a different one each week - that looks like popular, yeah.”
Kazuya laughed at that, stretching, while walking behind the others.
“You had a week with him, too, didn’t you?”
It made Kazuya freeze and he stared at Tegoshi.
“I figured that much, as Koki told us about it. And he, I mean Koki, watches the two of you so closely.” Tegoshi smiled a clever smile. “It wasn’t hard to figure.”
Kazuya nodded lightly, walking on. “I did.”
Tegoshi looked at the ground. “If it’s the way I think; if you were that last person he dated, then I think he still likes you.”
“It’s weird talking to you about this, Yuya”, Kazuya remarked.
The younger boy laughed slightly. “Sorry. I am just curious.”
“We broke up after that week, that’s all.” Not saying much more about it, Kazuya gave Tegoshi’s shoulder a pat. “I am fine.”
“That’s most important for me”, Tegoshi answered and nudged Kazuya back, before they caught up on the others.
Kazuya felt a bit dizzy after running that bit, the amount of alcohol he had had throughout the evening taking effect on him.
“Pi, we need to take that one, it’s the last”, Ryo said and they started to run towards a platform, waving at the others.
Kazuya couldn’t process it that quickly, then he looked at the timetable in front of him with Tegoshi and Koki.
“I need to take the one from platform two”, Koki said.
“That’s the one I take, as well”, Tegoshi answered him.
Kazuya frowned, checked the table again. “Mine’s gone already.”
Tegoshi checked back for him, nodded then. “True. Well, then you just come over to my place”, he offered.
“It’s fine”, Jin said. “He can stay at my place.”
Kazuya turned, looked at him with round eyes.
The train came in and Tegoshi gave Kazuya a look. “Decide; we need to go.”
“I…” Kazuya threw a look back at Jin, then he moved his feet to go after Tegoshi and Koki, but stopped, as Jin took his wrist.
Tegoshi turned again at the door to the train, smiled at him and waved, blinking an eye.
Kazuya didn’t turn until the train was gone, then he looked over his shoulder.
“What’s that about, Jin?”
The older one shrugged a shoulder. “We didn’t finish our conversation last time, so I thought this was a good chance.”
Kazuya frowned and followed Jin, as he walked out of the station. “You answered my question already. You won’t cheat on your girlfriend, you said that earlier tonight.”
Jin kept quiet to that, just walked on, until they reached his flat. He unlocked the door, let Kazuya walk in first.
Thee younger one gave him an uncertain look, before he took off his shoes and went ahead.
It was almost three at night and Kazuya felt tired and still a bit drunk. He watched Jin, as he got in, as well, pointed at the table for Kazuya to sit down at one of the pillows, but Kazuya didn’t move.
“You know, Jin, I wasn’t just playing. It wasn’t like I didn’t want you, as much.”
Jin looked at him, stepped a little closer. “Why does it bother you I think that way?”
“It’s…” Kazuya swallowed. “It’s not that easy; not just black and white. It just wasn’t like that. It still isn’t.”
Without another word, Jin pulled Kazuya in, their lips meeting halfway. He felt Kazuya sigh into it, his body relaxing against Jin’s.
He tugged Kazuya into the direction of the bed and getting as close as possible, tangling their legs together, they fell down to the mattress, still devouring each other’s lips.
Jin rolled over, until Kazuya was beneath him, then he drew back, both of them panting slightly.
“This is hilarious”, Kazuya said. “We can’t do this.”
Jin licked his lips, nodded, but didn’t move a single inch.
“You said you wouldn’t cheat on your girlfriend; and you really shouldn’t.”
“You’re the one exception”, Jin answered.
“It’s not making sense, Jin.” Kazuya tried to keep his mind, but it was difficult, when Jin was so close. “It’s nothing but a physical attraction, but it completely takes over me.”
That pretty much described what it was, Jin thought and leaned in again, taking another kiss from those perfect lips.
“I didn’t even know it was your birthday. I don’t know anything about you, Jin”, Kazuya went on. “I just spent a single week with you.”
“It had quite some impact on both of us”, Jin said quietly. “Since we’re both still attracted by the other.”
“We can’t give in to that as it is now.” The younger one took a deep breath, looked at Jin’s face. “It’s up to you to decide who of us you really want.”
Jin smiled, placed a kiss to Kazuya’s forehead. “You’re too soft. You should hate me for two-timing like this.”
“I tried, but that doesn’t change the fact that this just feels good”, Kazuya admitted quietly, tilting his head back, so he could catch Jin’s lips with his again, delivering him a heated kiss.
“You need to be serious about this, Kazuya”, Jin reminded him then, sliding down next to him and pulling Kazuya’s back to his chest. “If I am going to break up with her, you need to be honest this time and take that step you couldn’t take last time.”
Kazuya pressed his lips together, took Jin’s hand to lace their fingers. “I’ll try.”
“I don’t want to hurt her”, Jin admitted. “She’s nice, and doesn’t deserve all the hurting.”
Nodding, the younger male shifted slightly in Jin’s embrace. “Then take your time.”
Jin smiled and placed a soft kiss to Kazuya’s nape. He didn’t answer, just closed his eyes, his lips lazily moving over the skin of Kazuya’s neck.
The younger one pulled him closer, held on tightly to Jin’s hand, both of them knowing what it meant.
They tried desperately. They wanted to give in to the feelings they both had, to that strange love between them.
To that attraction that had never faded, Jin thought, before he fell asleep.
When he woke up again, he was all alone in his bed. Frowning he rolled over, blinked against the light of the sun flooding his room and yawned.
He wondered, if it had been a dream, but when he turned his head to press his face into the pillow, there was a hint of that scent. The way Kazuya’s hair smelled.
Jin sat up and stretched, before he noticed the small box on his night stand. It was wrapped in black and silver and there was a small piece of paper beneath.
He wondered if it was coincidence Kazuya and Mirai had picked the same wrapping paper for him; if it was coincidence, Jin was always again reminded of Kazuya, whenever it came to Mirai.
Jin took it and opened the box carefully, smiling as he got out the piece of jewellery, holding it against the light.
The paper in his hand, Jin went over to the entrance, where a mirror was placed next to the door and placed the necklace around his neck, watching himself.
Sorry, I missed the right time to give it to you yesterday. Still, happy birthday, Jin.
You don’t need to use it, if you don’t like it, but it was the only thing I could get you, knowing it had a meaning.
They just remind me of you.
See you,
Kazuya.
Jin put the piece of paper down and raised the pendant from his chest to look at it. They reminded him of Kazuya, too: sparkling, falling, making wishes comes true.
Even though, it crossed Jin’s mind and he smiled sadly at the thought, they had never seen the shooting stars together.
---------------------------------------------
So, they want, they somehow can't, they talked, they tried --- they really want... Can they?
The next chapter will show you how much they can... or not.
Thanks so much for reading ♥♥♥♥
For a moment, everything Jin could do was to stare.
Kazuya had leaned back, his head resting against the wall and with that, he had put a distance between them. They weren’t touching anymore, at all.
“Did you meet Koki?”
Kazuya nodded, but then he shrugged a shoulder. “I met him that day.”
“And he told you about what I was saying”, Jin concluded, making a move closer to Kazuya. “Listen, he totally…”
“Don’t even start the lies, Jin”, Kazuya interrupted and looked at him. “He didn’t tell me about it. I stood right behind you.”
Jin blinked his eyes. “You were there?”
“Just by accident, though.”
“You should have said something.”
Kazuya laughed slightly. “I didn’t feel like that, after finding out you have a girlfriend.”
“She’s not…”, Jin started, but trailed off, as Kazuya smiled at him.
“What, Jin? Special? She is, we both know she has something to her that’s special, otherwise you would not have picked her.”
Jin didn’t know what to say to that. Kazuya was right, it was exactly that way. “She’s the first one, since… ever since… then.”
Kazuya simply nodded, stepped to the side to get away then. “I am glad then that you found someone.”
“Kazuya”, Jin said and gripped the younger one’s wrist, before he could escape. “You just said you missed me, you just kissed me back. Don’t act like you were okay with it.”
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder, didn’t turn to Jin. “Honestly, Jin, I don’t see it any differently from you. It was just a week, it didn’t mean anything.”
Jin remained silent, then he tugged at Kazuya’s wrist, pulled him closer. “Is it like that?”
Trying to keep calm, Kazuya nodded his head slowly. “It was nothing but a fling for both of us.”
“It’s fine to tell that Koki or anyone else”, Jin said softly. “But, in front of me, Kazuya…” He thought about it for a moment, let his hand slide down a bit, until he could lace their fingers. “You told me back then that you loved me.”
“You thought the same, didn’t you? And found that you were wrong.”
“Were we?”
Kazuya still didn’t turn. “Stop those games, Jin, it’s really not amusing.”
“It is ought not to be.”
“Then why are you…” His words ended in a surprised noise, as Jin tugged Kazuya against his chest, put his free arm around the smaller boy’s shoulders.
“You know why”, he murmured close to Kazuya’s ear.
“It’s just the past getting back at us, Jin.” Kazuya knew he should, but he didn’t fetch away. He stood as he was, embraced by Jin’s warmth.
“I don’t think it’s just that”, the older male answered and placed a kiss to Kazuya’s jaw. “We were special, weren’t we?”
That clenched Kazuya’s heart and he bit his lip, definitely enjoying this too much. Of course, they’d been. They had shared so much in that one week; had experienced so many important feelings and things. No one could ever mean to Kazuya what Jin meant to him.
“Then, break up with her?” The question left his lips, softly, quietly, before he could even think of it and Kazuya felt Jin tensing at his back.
He didn’t get to know what Jin was about to say or do, however, since right at that moment, Tegoshi came around the corner and froze right at that point, staring at them.
They both didn’t move, drew away from each other quickly or tried to put on an act to hide what Tegoshi had just seen.
Jin slowly entangled his arm from around Kazuya’s shoulders, let go of the younger one’s hand, as he stepped away.
Kazuya fidgeted with his clothes, looking down.
“Kame…?” Tegoshi frowned.
Kazuya wasn’t sure what to say. Tegoshi was his closest friend, after all, and probably he had figured out that much already - since Kazuya had never dated girls. It was still hard to come up with anything to say now.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you”, Tegoshi murmured and bowed to them lightly, before he turned on his heels.
Kazuya didn’t even think about it, his feet moved themselves and he dashed after Tegoshi, without another word to Jin.
“Yuya, wait!” Kazuya reached him, held him back by his wrist. “I… I’m sorry.”
Tegoshi stared at the older boy, then he started to chuckle. “What exactly are you apologizing for?”
Kazuya took a shaky breath, laughing slightly, as well. “I don’t really know.”
Tegoshi looked back at the main room, spotted the table. “No one’s asked yet why you’re not back. Go and settle things with him first.”
“We’re not…”
Tegoshi just smiled. “I don’t buy that, Kame. So, don’t even try.”
“But”, Kazuya started and gave the smaller boy an indignant look, “we’re not like that.”
Tegoshi looked at him for a moment, before he shrugged a shoulder. “I figured you must have something going on with someone during that time you spent in that place”, he said then. “So, it was a boy. And what?”
It felt awkward to talk about it and Kazuya knew it didn’t help much, because it meant he hadn’t changed much since he and Jin had parted two years ago. He still gave too much about what people were saying and thinking about them.
But finding Tegoshi so acceptant of it, reassured him a bit.
“I don’t need to go back”, he said slowly.
Tegoshi blinked, looked past Kazuya at the corner to the restrooms, but didn’t say anything about it. He just nodded and went ahead.
Kazuya shivered, as he thought of how Jin had just embraced him and bit his lip slightly, before he turned once more, just in the moment, Jin appeared.
Kazuya looked at him, pressed his lips together. “Let’s be reasonable, Jin.”
The older one smiled slightly. “Yeah, let’s.”
Almost surprised by that answer, Kazuya swallowed thickly, then he raised his hand slightly, nodded. “Take care.”
Jin didn’t answer, just watched the younger male, as he followed his friend back to the table.
“See you again”, he murmured and made his way to the door to leave the shop.
Jin didn’t believe there’d ever be a real goodbye between them.
They’d surely meet again.
“Kame, that guy you went to school with; what was his name again?”
Kazuya turned his head from the magazine he was reading in and looked at Yamashita, raising a brow. Then he pointed his finger to the guy in front of the camera; Tegoshi.
“I know that much”, Yamashita said and rolled his eyes. “I mean the other one. The one that studies here, as well, and went to high school together with you and Jin.”
Kazuya blinked and tilted his head. “Koki?”
“Ah, that was it.” Yamashita leaned back. “Can you contact him?”
“What do you want from Koki?”
Grinning, Yamashita leaned closer to Kazuya, as if he didn’t want anyone else to listen. “I gather Jin’s friends for next Saturday. It’ll be his birthday.”
Jin’s birthday, Kazuya thought and put down the magazine. He had never known when exactly it was.
So, Jin would turn twenty; the most important birthday of all - his coming of age.
“Doesn’t he have a girlfriend to spend that day with?”
Yamashita laughed. “I don’t care what he does for the day, but he’s definitely going to spend the night with us; hanging out and partying in some cool club.”
Kazuya snorted, then he froze and gave Yamashita a frown. “Wait. Us?”
“Sure, I invited everyone along who’s friends with Jin.”
“We’re not friends.” Kazuya said the words, before thinking about them.
“But you went to the same high school.”
“For a few months, Pi, and we’ve known each other for a week, before I left to come here.”
“But you know each other”, Yamashita pointed out.
“You wouldn’t even call us acquaintances.”
“It doesn’t matter, anyway”, Yamashita said and shrugged his shoulders. “I just want us to have fun that night. And the more people come, the funnier it gets.”
Kazuya sighed. “I don’t have time. But I can call Koki up for you.”
“Of course you have time. No”, the older one said quickly, as Kazuya just opened his mouth. “Training is not an excuse.”
“But…”
“No. You’re coming with us. It’ll be fun, and you definitely need to loosen up. The occasion has finally come, Kame.”
“I am loose”, Kazuya corrected in the moment, Tegoshi came over to them.
“Tegoshi, how does party Saturday night sound to you?” Yamashita pointed his finger at the youngest one.
He blinked for a moment, looked at Kazuya, then he shrugged a shoulder. “When? Where?”
“You see?” Yamashita pointed back to Kazuya. “He is loose, you’re totally not.”
“Okay, fine, whatever!” Kazuya got up and walked over to the set. “I’ll be there.”
As the job was done, Kazuya left together with Tegoshi, as usual, but got off a few stations earlier than his friend.
It was Thursday already, so he didn’t have much time left to get something for Jin’s birthday. He knew he shouldn’t care and just go there, enjoy the evening as if the occasion was nothing but good friends coming together.
But Kazuya couldn’t do that. It was Jin’s birthday, after all, and if he’d see the older one that day, being aware of the fact it was Jin’s birthday, he just couldn’t go there with empty hands.
It was the first time Kazuya bought a present for someone who was not just a friend. In the past years, the only one he had bought presents for had been Tegoshi - and that had been rather easy, since he knew the younger one well, and they had spent so much time together. He knew what kind of clothes he could buy for Tegoshi, that everything soccer-related would make him happy and that he loved skull-patterned things.
But when it came to Jin, Kazuya was rather clueless.
He frowned over that thought, the fact that, after all, Jin was so important to him, even though Kazuya did know so little about him.
He couldn’t quite grasp it, why Jin was so important, why he felt that way and why he even wanted to get something special for Jin.
But it just was like that.
As something caught his eye, Kazuya frowned and bent down to have a closer look. He smiled slightly, gripped it and thought it over for a moment.
It surely was cheesy, childish even and something he would rather buy for a girl, probably. But he couldn’t resist it.
It was the only thing he could connect Jin to; the only thing that probably even connected them.
Jin frowned as he read the text message Yamashita had just sent him.
There had been birthday wishes and instructions to sleep long and spend the day relaxed. Yamashita would come to pick him up at eight and he’d better look decent then.
Jin frowned at that, read through it again.
It most likely just meant they were going to go out that night.
In that case, Jin thought, and fell back to his pillows again, he would just stay home and have a lazy day. That was, what he wanted most, anyway.
Birthdays never meant anything special to him.
He could remember his eighteenth, two years ago. Back then, he had thought that eighteen probably was one of those important birthdays, one you would spend with all of your friends, going out to karaoke or a dinner.
Shortly after that, he had met Kazuya and from then on, things had changed.
Jin had finished school before his nineteenth birthday, so he had never experienced what it was like to celebrate it with friends from school. He had known Yamashita already then, but they hadn’t been that close then, so this year’s birthday turned out to be the first one he would actually celebrate with friends.
He was feeling oddly excited about it.
It was just shortly after lunch and Jin had just decided to probably take a nap to make time go by, as his door bell rang. With a look at his watch, Jin strolled over to the door of his small apartment and to open up.
He blinked, as he saw Mirai, fresh and pretty as ever, smiling widely at him.
“Happy Birthday!” She stepped closer and made Jin’s heart skip a beat with getting to her toes and placing a light kiss to his cheek.
“I…” Jin cleared his throat. “Why don’t you come in?”
Smiling, she accepted the offer, got out of her shoes and waited for Jin to go ahead.
“I didn’t expect you to come, so it’s…”
She smiled and sat down at the table in the middle of the room, putting the bag she had brought next to her.
Somehow, Jin thought, Mirai seemed way too classy for this little flat. It was just one room, basically. Jin’s bed at the wall beneath the little window, unmade and messy, the small table in the middle of the room, books spread over it, as well as papers and sweets. His kitchen was a small slot next to the entrance and Jin thought he better didn’t look over now, checking how long ago it had been he’d last done the wash up.
He noticed Mirai looking around a bit and was thankful that at least his clothes didn’t lie around anywhere. Hopefully, she wouldn’t ask to use the bathroom; Jin wouldn’t guarantee there weren’t any lying on the floor there.
“It’s… pretty messy”, he said, without apologizing for it.
Mirai laughed slightly. “I didn’t expect it to look any other. You live alone, after all.”
“Well, I arranged myself.” Jin sat down across from her at the table.
“It’s nice”, Mirai said and looked at one o the books. “It looks comfortable.”
“You’re lying now, aren’t you?”
She laughed again, her eyes sparkling in amusement. “I am really not. It would be a bit more comfortable if it wasn’t that messy, but it’s still fine.”
Jin smiled and it kept silent between them for a while. He didn’t really know what to say; it was the first time he had a girl over in his flat.
“Ah, right”, she mumbled and gripped the bag, pushing it over the table to Jin. “That’s for you.”
“You bought something for my birthday?” Jin looked into the bag, saw a box wrapped in black and silver. “What is it?”
“Open it”, Mirai instructed.
Jin threw her a look, smiled shyly. “Thanks.”
“You have not yet seen it.”
“No, I mean… for thinking of it. You’re the only one who bothered to get me something.”
She blushed, looked down at her hands. “I just… it’s natural to get you something for your birthday, isn’t it?”
Jin opened the box, looked at a silvery strap with a miniature of a soccer ball and a star attached.
“It’s for key chains or your mobile, or… well, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to use it”, she said quickly, as Jin didn’t react.
He looked up at her, took the strap out of the box and held it up against the light. “It’s cute”, he said then and heard her sigh slightly in relief.
She was a good girl, Jin thought. For everything she did, she put a lot of thought and she always put others first. She had most likely spent a whole afternoon thinking about what to get him, wandering through shops to find something. After all, this was pretty girlish, but it was also cute. Something people would notice and know, Jin had gotten it from a girl.
It was clever, but he also knew, Mirai hadn’t bought it to remind Jin of their relationship, but because it also meant he was she only one she wanted to be claimed by.
It was different, Jin knew that; different from how he’d been with Kazuya and nothing would ever be comparable to hoe he felt for the other boy. But even so, Jin felt affection for Mirai, not only because she reminded him of Kazuya, but also, because she was so very pure and natural in her own way.
“Thank you”, he said and gripped his mobile from the table, fiddling with the strap to attach it, then he leaned in and kissed her cheek, just as lightly as she had kissed his before.
Mirai blushed, avoided looking at him. “You’re welcome.”
Feeling much calmer than before, Jin got up again. “How about lunch?”
She looked up at him, blinking.
“Not here, of course”, Jin said and laughed slightly, finding the look she gave him extremely adorable. He felt a bit bad, though, every time again, when she did. It just always reminded him of Kazuya, when she looked so surprised, and Jin couldn’t even say why, because their faces didn’t even have similar features. “Give me some minutes to change, okay?”
She smiled and nodded then. “Sounds great.”
Jin looked at his watch, as he got to his bathroom, gripping a few clothes to change into on his way. There was still enough time left.
It felt strange, he thought, being attracted to two people at the same time, and even though he knew that the one, the right one and the one he wanted in the end, was Kazuya, he didn’t want to let go of Mirai yet, either.
It was selfish of him, he was aware of that, and for a while Mirai had just been like a replacement for Kazuya for him, but by now, he had learned that there was probably more to that.
The only thing he could do, was to find out what it was about her that attracted him so much; that just made him want to keep her close.
It was shortly before eight and Kazuya didn’t really feel in the mood to go out, but he had said he’d come, so now he didn’t have any choice.
His mood lightened up a bit, when he saw Koki coming out of the train they had been waiting for.
“Hey!” Kazuya waved him over. “I am glad you could make it.”
“I surely won’t miss the fun”, Koki said and then looked at the others, introducing himself.
Ryo raised a brow at him, but nodded back in a friendly way. It seemed he was just looking at everyone like that, so Kazuya didn’t really mind.
They left the station and Yamashita and Ryo went ahead; Tegoshi, Kazuya and Koki following them down the street.
“Okay, wait here, I’ll go get him down”, Yamashita said and disappeared into the building.
Kazuya looked at it more closely, finding it appeared neat and pretty normal to him.
“Have you met Jin yet?”
He looked back at Koki and nodded. “Last week. It seems we’re both friends with Yamashita.”
Koki nodded. “Then, he won’t be too surprised to meet you today.”
“He didn’t seem that surprised when we did, though.” Kazuya shrugged a shoulder. “We both don’t cling to that, Koki. It was strange; something rare, indeed, but nothing that would make us feel still attached.”
Koki didn’t answer anymore and Kazuya noticed Tegoshi looking at them, giving him a smile now. Kazuya smiled back slightly, wondering if that had made any sense for the younger one, but didn’t talk any more about it.
He got distracted, though, as the door was opened again and Yamashita came back, laughing about something and looking over his shoulders. Then, Jin followed. He saw Ryo first and greeted him with some strange hand move, before he saw Tegoshi and frowned. He immediately turned and looked at Kazuya directly.
“I invited them. It’s more fun with a lot of people, don’t you think?” Yamashita gripped Jin’s shoulder, squeezed it.
“Yeah, sure”, Jin answered and greeted Koki, as well. “It’ll be much more fun, then.”
Somehow, Kazuya couldn’t help but feel that Jin meant it another way than Yamashita and the look Koki gave him didn’t help that, at all.
It wasn’t far from Jin’s place, actually, so it took them a mere ten minutes to arrive at the club.
Tegoshi caught up with Yamashita. “The three of us aren’t twenty, is it going to be okay to take us along?”
Yamashita just patted the smaller boy’s head, grinned then. “They don’t ask for that in this club. I know the manager, so there won’t be any problem.”
“Pi’s come here, ever since he’s been sixteen”, Jin added and Tegoshi threw him a look.
And just like that, they walked in, past the security and Yamashita, Jin and Ryo were greeted by some people immediately.
They went over to a lounge with red and black seats, small tables and dim light. Music was playing loudly, but the club wasn’t full yet.
Kazuya had just taken a seat, as someone came and placed a bottle of Champaign at their table, handing a glass to everyone.
Kazuya threw Tegoshi a look and they both frowned at each other.
“You know, Jin, if you’re clever you take one of the ladies home tonight”, Ryo pointed out. “Making a birthday present to yourself.”
Jin just glanced at Kazuya for a second, but the younger one seemed distracted by his surrounding.
“Why would I?” Jin shrugged a shoulder and waited for everyone being served with a drink.
“To you”, Yamashita said, lifting his glass. “Happy Birthday, Jin!”
Kazuya had to admit the evening was fun. He enjoyed it a lot; Yamashita and Ryo were both rather nice and while drinking and talking, he loosened up, even around Jin. Kazuya could laugh normally, talk like he used to talk around friends, without feeling uncomfortable because of Jin.
“What’s that?” Yamashita gripped Jin’s mobile that lay at the table, held it, so that the strap was swinging in front of his eyes.
“It’s from Mirai, isn’t it?”
Jin noticed Kazuya wasn’t paying attention to them and gripped it from Yamashita’s hands. “None of your business.”
“What?” Yamashita leaned in again, took it from Jin and now, the others were watching them. “It’s so girly.”
“That’s because it is from a girl, idiot.” Jin tried to get a hold of Yamashita’s hand.
Kazuya frowned, saw them fighting over Jin’s mobile, then Jin got a hold of it and took it back. He saw the pendant attached to it, knowing immediately, that was what they had been talking about.
“Now, how cute”, Ryo interfered. “It’s a phone strap from his girlfriend.”
Kazuya bit his lip, took another sip of his drink and ignoring the short looks he got from Tegoshi and Koki.
“You should really not waste your time like that and just take someone home tonight”, Ryo went on.
“I don’t see why I should cheat on my girlfriend”, Jin pointed out.
“Because it’s boring.”
Yamashita laughed. “Leave him, Ryo. Look, he’s still like a teenager”, he joked and nudged Jin’s shoulder. “Happy about such childish things like this strap.”
“I think it’s nice”, Kazuya spoke up and they all looked at him. “What is wrong about cherishing a relationship or being seriously in love?”
Ryo grinned. “You’re like that, too?”
Kazuya blushed slightly, knowing he had said too much, but Koki spoke up for him.
“It’s just that we know a completely different side of Jin. Back then in high school, he dated a different girl each week.”
Yamashita laughed loudly, patting Jin’s shoulder. “So, that’s what you were like?”
Jin managed a laugh, as well, looked at him. “It was quite easy that way.”
“I should have done that in my high school time, too”, Ryo sighed. “That sounds perfect.”
Jin shrugged a shoulder. “It probably wasn’t.” As everyone looked at him in slight confusing - except for Kazuya, who was looking at his glass - he shrugged a shoulder. “I stopped with that dating spree, after I met one person who would have really been worth dating them seriously.”
“And true love came around the corner”, Yamashita said dryly.
Jin giggled. “Something like that, yeah. But that person didn’t want me; that person was just playing as I had been playing before. So, I learned my lesson.”
Kazuya looked up, his eyes stern.
But again, he didn’t get to say something, since Koki spoke up first: “You deserved it.”
Jin grinned at him. “Apparently. Look, now I am such a good guy.”
They dropped the topic, going back to more superficial ones, getting drunk just a little more, before they decided to leave.
“I need to sleep”, Yamashita said on their way to the station. “I’ll have a job at eight in the morning and I need to look decent.”
“You always look decent”, Ryo told him. “You’re a damn model.”
Tegoshi giggled at that, fell back behind the others with Kazuya. “Jin could easily join our agency, too, don’t you think?”
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder. “I think so. He’s always been popular with the girls.”
“Dating a different one each week - that looks like popular, yeah.”
Kazuya laughed at that, stretching, while walking behind the others.
“You had a week with him, too, didn’t you?”
It made Kazuya freeze and he stared at Tegoshi.
“I figured that much, as Koki told us about it. And he, I mean Koki, watches the two of you so closely.” Tegoshi smiled a clever smile. “It wasn’t hard to figure.”
Kazuya nodded lightly, walking on. “I did.”
Tegoshi looked at the ground. “If it’s the way I think; if you were that last person he dated, then I think he still likes you.”
“It’s weird talking to you about this, Yuya”, Kazuya remarked.
The younger boy laughed slightly. “Sorry. I am just curious.”
“We broke up after that week, that’s all.” Not saying much more about it, Kazuya gave Tegoshi’s shoulder a pat. “I am fine.”
“That’s most important for me”, Tegoshi answered and nudged Kazuya back, before they caught up on the others.
Kazuya felt a bit dizzy after running that bit, the amount of alcohol he had had throughout the evening taking effect on him.
“Pi, we need to take that one, it’s the last”, Ryo said and they started to run towards a platform, waving at the others.
Kazuya couldn’t process it that quickly, then he looked at the timetable in front of him with Tegoshi and Koki.
“I need to take the one from platform two”, Koki said.
“That’s the one I take, as well”, Tegoshi answered him.
Kazuya frowned, checked the table again. “Mine’s gone already.”
Tegoshi checked back for him, nodded then. “True. Well, then you just come over to my place”, he offered.
“It’s fine”, Jin said. “He can stay at my place.”
Kazuya turned, looked at him with round eyes.
The train came in and Tegoshi gave Kazuya a look. “Decide; we need to go.”
“I…” Kazuya threw a look back at Jin, then he moved his feet to go after Tegoshi and Koki, but stopped, as Jin took his wrist.
Tegoshi turned again at the door to the train, smiled at him and waved, blinking an eye.
Kazuya didn’t turn until the train was gone, then he looked over his shoulder.
“What’s that about, Jin?”
The older one shrugged a shoulder. “We didn’t finish our conversation last time, so I thought this was a good chance.”
Kazuya frowned and followed Jin, as he walked out of the station. “You answered my question already. You won’t cheat on your girlfriend, you said that earlier tonight.”
Jin kept quiet to that, just walked on, until they reached his flat. He unlocked the door, let Kazuya walk in first.
Thee younger one gave him an uncertain look, before he took off his shoes and went ahead.
It was almost three at night and Kazuya felt tired and still a bit drunk. He watched Jin, as he got in, as well, pointed at the table for Kazuya to sit down at one of the pillows, but Kazuya didn’t move.
“You know, Jin, I wasn’t just playing. It wasn’t like I didn’t want you, as much.”
Jin looked at him, stepped a little closer. “Why does it bother you I think that way?”
“It’s…” Kazuya swallowed. “It’s not that easy; not just black and white. It just wasn’t like that. It still isn’t.”
Without another word, Jin pulled Kazuya in, their lips meeting halfway. He felt Kazuya sigh into it, his body relaxing against Jin’s.
He tugged Kazuya into the direction of the bed and getting as close as possible, tangling their legs together, they fell down to the mattress, still devouring each other’s lips.
Jin rolled over, until Kazuya was beneath him, then he drew back, both of them panting slightly.
“This is hilarious”, Kazuya said. “We can’t do this.”
Jin licked his lips, nodded, but didn’t move a single inch.
“You said you wouldn’t cheat on your girlfriend; and you really shouldn’t.”
“You’re the one exception”, Jin answered.
“It’s not making sense, Jin.” Kazuya tried to keep his mind, but it was difficult, when Jin was so close. “It’s nothing but a physical attraction, but it completely takes over me.”
That pretty much described what it was, Jin thought and leaned in again, taking another kiss from those perfect lips.
“I didn’t even know it was your birthday. I don’t know anything about you, Jin”, Kazuya went on. “I just spent a single week with you.”
“It had quite some impact on both of us”, Jin said quietly. “Since we’re both still attracted by the other.”
“We can’t give in to that as it is now.” The younger one took a deep breath, looked at Jin’s face. “It’s up to you to decide who of us you really want.”
Jin smiled, placed a kiss to Kazuya’s forehead. “You’re too soft. You should hate me for two-timing like this.”
“I tried, but that doesn’t change the fact that this just feels good”, Kazuya admitted quietly, tilting his head back, so he could catch Jin’s lips with his again, delivering him a heated kiss.
“You need to be serious about this, Kazuya”, Jin reminded him then, sliding down next to him and pulling Kazuya’s back to his chest. “If I am going to break up with her, you need to be honest this time and take that step you couldn’t take last time.”
Kazuya pressed his lips together, took Jin’s hand to lace their fingers. “I’ll try.”
“I don’t want to hurt her”, Jin admitted. “She’s nice, and doesn’t deserve all the hurting.”
Nodding, the younger male shifted slightly in Jin’s embrace. “Then take your time.”
Jin smiled and placed a soft kiss to Kazuya’s nape. He didn’t answer, just closed his eyes, his lips lazily moving over the skin of Kazuya’s neck.
The younger one pulled him closer, held on tightly to Jin’s hand, both of them knowing what it meant.
They tried desperately. They wanted to give in to the feelings they both had, to that strange love between them.
To that attraction that had never faded, Jin thought, before he fell asleep.
When he woke up again, he was all alone in his bed. Frowning he rolled over, blinked against the light of the sun flooding his room and yawned.
He wondered, if it had been a dream, but when he turned his head to press his face into the pillow, there was a hint of that scent. The way Kazuya’s hair smelled.
Jin sat up and stretched, before he noticed the small box on his night stand. It was wrapped in black and silver and there was a small piece of paper beneath.
He wondered if it was coincidence Kazuya and Mirai had picked the same wrapping paper for him; if it was coincidence, Jin was always again reminded of Kazuya, whenever it came to Mirai.
Jin took it and opened the box carefully, smiling as he got out the piece of jewellery, holding it against the light.
The paper in his hand, Jin went over to the entrance, where a mirror was placed next to the door and placed the necklace around his neck, watching himself.
Sorry, I missed the right time to give it to you yesterday. Still, happy birthday, Jin.
You don’t need to use it, if you don’t like it, but it was the only thing I could get you, knowing it had a meaning.
They just remind me of you.
See you,
Kazuya.
Jin put the piece of paper down and raised the pendant from his chest to look at it. They reminded him of Kazuya, too: sparkling, falling, making wishes comes true.
Even though, it crossed Jin’s mind and he smiled sadly at the thought, they had never seen the shooting stars together.
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So, they want, they somehow can't, they talked, they tried --- they really want... Can they?
The next chapter will show you how much they can... or not.
Thanks so much for reading ♥♥♥♥