sandpaper fudge
ive come to the conclusion that although i love it, coldplay is not emotionally healthy to listen to... makes me feel listless.. or mb thats just me.
feeling rather despondent today, more so than usual.
i cannot get myself to work, even though its not really hard and im lucky to be gettin an education and alll that guilt-tripy kinda stuff..
weve had a snowstorm; and andre left back for kingston (he was visiting).. moms left to paint a cousins house for a few days; dad is driving back from dropping her off, so im all alone here..
i have pressing work, though aparently not pressing enough to get me to work... i have no idea where the ability to work i once had has gone..
life is very monotonous at the moment... ive been spending way too much time reading phantom of the opera fan-fics.. which are for the most part all alike but i feel the need to read every one beginning to finish anyway... im waiting for the spring to come... i want it to be here; so that mb i can begin to see beauty and green again..
i remember halloween.. i dunno why i do but it wont get outa my head these days for some reason...the tree in from of the house had these beautiful bright red leaves on it in the autumn; although they mighta fallen off it at that point... anyway my dad/uncle and i spent the whole day setting the house up cause i went from not caring to getting into it in a matter of hours... then i spent the night getting the candy ready and handing it out to the kids; anything to let me ignore the considerable amount of work that night... anyway then at the end of the night my dad and i went for a long walk around the neighborhood to see the houses, but mostly just to once again put off work and stay in this moment of justified limbo.. by the end of the night i was knee-deep in dread and despair, and.. i dunno.. i just sat on the steps feeling horrible until like ten.. i dunno what i keep remembering it; or why im writing it on here.. hehe mb just so that itll get outa my head...
i think its the damn weather thats making me feel this way; and the usual aftermath of my bro leaving back for kingston... hmm.. i want to go riding =).. im going to cook pasta.
i guess i havent talked about chile.. it was amazing.. and.. i dunno i dont really feel like typing anymore but ill just say that i was seduced again by.. i duno; its just like this life flowing through everything... everything is so alive and vibrant and welcoming and Most beautiful.. i love it; i just love it all so much.. thanks anyone reading this who was there in my trip; it was amazing and i miss everyone a lot now... though (THANK god..or u know, whatevers out there) im not all moody and depressed about being back here like i thought i would be a few months ago when we planned the trip... cept for today.. im a bit moody this weekend.. im blabbering.. ill get outa here now.
ive become very frustrated with myself.
feeling rather despondent today, more so than usual.
i cannot get myself to work, even though its not really hard and im lucky to be gettin an education and alll that guilt-tripy kinda stuff..
weve had a snowstorm; and andre left back for kingston (he was visiting).. moms left to paint a cousins house for a few days; dad is driving back from dropping her off, so im all alone here..
i have pressing work, though aparently not pressing enough to get me to work... i have no idea where the ability to work i once had has gone..
life is very monotonous at the moment... ive been spending way too much time reading phantom of the opera fan-fics.. which are for the most part all alike but i feel the need to read every one beginning to finish anyway... im waiting for the spring to come... i want it to be here; so that mb i can begin to see beauty and green again..
i remember halloween.. i dunno why i do but it wont get outa my head these days for some reason...the tree in from of the house had these beautiful bright red leaves on it in the autumn; although they mighta fallen off it at that point... anyway my dad/uncle and i spent the whole day setting the house up cause i went from not caring to getting into it in a matter of hours... then i spent the night getting the candy ready and handing it out to the kids; anything to let me ignore the considerable amount of work that night... anyway then at the end of the night my dad and i went for a long walk around the neighborhood to see the houses, but mostly just to once again put off work and stay in this moment of justified limbo.. by the end of the night i was knee-deep in dread and despair, and.. i dunno.. i just sat on the steps feeling horrible until like ten.. i dunno what i keep remembering it; or why im writing it on here.. hehe mb just so that itll get outa my head...
i think its the damn weather thats making me feel this way; and the usual aftermath of my bro leaving back for kingston... hmm.. i want to go riding =).. im going to cook pasta.
i guess i havent talked about chile.. it was amazing.. and.. i dunno i dont really feel like typing anymore but ill just say that i was seduced again by.. i duno; its just like this life flowing through everything... everything is so alive and vibrant and welcoming and Most beautiful.. i love it; i just love it all so much.. thanks anyone reading this who was there in my trip; it was amazing and i miss everyone a lot now... though (THANK god..or u know, whatevers out there) im not all moody and depressed about being back here like i thought i would be a few months ago when we planned the trip... cept for today.. im a bit moody this weekend.. im blabbering.. ill get outa here now.
ive become very frustrated with myself.