(no subject)
Funny how places define you, even in anticipation.
As I packed for Berkeley, it was awfully refreshing. A couple of sweaters, a lot of tank tops for layering, jeans, some of my favorite skirts. The most versatile pairs of shoes, some scarves and of course jewelry for accessorizing. So down-to-Earth (pun intended). Now, Santa Barbara...merely a six hours' drive south, and the questions become more complicated. Do I have enough concert clothes, most legitimately, and most anxiously, do I have a swimsuit? Do I have enough clothes to work out in so that I can WEAR a swimsuit? Should I purchase a pair of black sunglasses, as my only pair are brown? What about belts? And how the hell did I just end up with two new dresses and a denim pencil skirt?
And as I'm going through this, I think to myself, "it sure was nice when I didn't have to worry about any of this," meaning when I was packing for Berkeley, and then in high school, because none of my friends cared, thank God. And then it occurs to me, this is a choice. I'm doing this completely out of my own volition. There's some little part of me who wants to fit in with people who have nice clothes and are fashionable and have gym memberships. Certainly, there's a question of degree. My goal is to be classy, not ridiculous. But Santa Barbara classy is perhaps Berkeley ridiculous. Texas classy is ridiculous by all other standards.
I fear being superficial, and I fear being perceived as superficial, which is superficial in itself. Especially since I think I really am pretty superficial sometimes. Is it necessarily superficial to like clothes and Central Market?
As I packed for Berkeley, it was awfully refreshing. A couple of sweaters, a lot of tank tops for layering, jeans, some of my favorite skirts. The most versatile pairs of shoes, some scarves and of course jewelry for accessorizing. So down-to-Earth (pun intended). Now, Santa Barbara...merely a six hours' drive south, and the questions become more complicated. Do I have enough concert clothes, most legitimately, and most anxiously, do I have a swimsuit? Do I have enough clothes to work out in so that I can WEAR a swimsuit? Should I purchase a pair of black sunglasses, as my only pair are brown? What about belts? And how the hell did I just end up with two new dresses and a denim pencil skirt?
And as I'm going through this, I think to myself, "it sure was nice when I didn't have to worry about any of this," meaning when I was packing for Berkeley, and then in high school, because none of my friends cared, thank God. And then it occurs to me, this is a choice. I'm doing this completely out of my own volition. There's some little part of me who wants to fit in with people who have nice clothes and are fashionable and have gym memberships. Certainly, there's a question of degree. My goal is to be classy, not ridiculous. But Santa Barbara classy is perhaps Berkeley ridiculous. Texas classy is ridiculous by all other standards.
I fear being superficial, and I fear being perceived as superficial, which is superficial in itself. Especially since I think I really am pretty superficial sometimes. Is it necessarily superficial to like clothes and Central Market?