Dammit.
I feel cut off from the world... I hate not having a computer. I'm at the Miami Beach library right now, eating shit. It's kind of soothing, in an exposing way.
I know I should feel grateful. But at the same time, I can't help but feel let down.
Let me give a thanks to all who made the great part of my birthday, for being there even though funds were low to make me happy. Much love.
As for the others... I don't care as much I would have years ago, but it's rarely a nice feeling when you see who your real friends are, and no matter how much you do for people, they still feel they don't owe you shit.
I'm mostly disappointed in family though, for not even bothering to call and make up an excuse as to why they couldn't make it out. Whatev, says I. Had fun without you.
There is talk of going out for drinks with the co-workers (few of them) this week, to make up for the birthday. The number is diminishing, as I am reminded of those that actually suck, and probably shouldn't be invited. Dammit... Fuck you, Angela. It bothers me that she ended up this way. She was someone I was pretty tight with at work, and then I got to see the ugly side of her... and it wasn't justified. It turns out that I'm one of the last to see that face, and it's a shame. I feel wronged, but I realize that she's pretty much set in her ways... Another Derek. Someone who doesn't see reality in the world around them. And Steven... I'd rather not get into full-blown conversation about him. He just pisses me off, and that's about it. Very conceited, very dense individual. One minute things are fine, it seems like there's a chance of normal conversation, and then the next, he's back to being an asshole. It's a horrible affliction, I wish I could ignore him utterly, but the job makes in impossible to do so. I've gone months without even looking him in the eye, and I hate it. I hate that I have to ignore people that I work with, it's retarded. I've said it a thousand times... I want another job. I want a different working environment. To start over and actually possibly make new friends... that aren't fuckheads. Is it possible?
Whatever... Drinks with the ladies in my department at Doraku. Sounds good to me. I could use a few right now.
I can't write anymore on here... I feel like someone is reading over my shoulder or something. Hard to formulate valid thoughts. I think I'm done for now.
I know I should feel grateful. But at the same time, I can't help but feel let down.
Let me give a thanks to all who made the great part of my birthday, for being there even though funds were low to make me happy. Much love.
As for the others... I don't care as much I would have years ago, but it's rarely a nice feeling when you see who your real friends are, and no matter how much you do for people, they still feel they don't owe you shit.
I'm mostly disappointed in family though, for not even bothering to call and make up an excuse as to why they couldn't make it out. Whatev, says I. Had fun without you.
There is talk of going out for drinks with the co-workers (few of them) this week, to make up for the birthday. The number is diminishing, as I am reminded of those that actually suck, and probably shouldn't be invited. Dammit... Fuck you, Angela. It bothers me that she ended up this way. She was someone I was pretty tight with at work, and then I got to see the ugly side of her... and it wasn't justified. It turns out that I'm one of the last to see that face, and it's a shame. I feel wronged, but I realize that she's pretty much set in her ways... Another Derek. Someone who doesn't see reality in the world around them. And Steven... I'd rather not get into full-blown conversation about him. He just pisses me off, and that's about it. Very conceited, very dense individual. One minute things are fine, it seems like there's a chance of normal conversation, and then the next, he's back to being an asshole. It's a horrible affliction, I wish I could ignore him utterly, but the job makes in impossible to do so. I've gone months without even looking him in the eye, and I hate it. I hate that I have to ignore people that I work with, it's retarded. I've said it a thousand times... I want another job. I want a different working environment. To start over and actually possibly make new friends... that aren't fuckheads. Is it possible?
Whatever... Drinks with the ladies in my department at Doraku. Sounds good to me. I could use a few right now.
I can't write anymore on here... I feel like someone is reading over my shoulder or something. Hard to formulate valid thoughts. I think I'm done for now.