When they told me to break a leg...I guess they didn't mean literally
I have so many mixed feelings about competition. I honestly don't know how to feel.
I should be happy because I got three awards...I should feel proud...but when I am happy about it I feel as if I'm bragging or gloating.
I should be upset because we didn't make it to regionals...but I don't know how it is to make it to regionals...we went...strutted our stuff...they didn't like it. Maybe we didn't strutt enough. Or maybe we just suck, who knows? I think I was the only one who wasn't upset. Maybe because I knew it all along.
But when they passed our name...AGAIN...my heart sunk...and I felt stupid for having some confidence.
Oh Dannie Boy Trio: Jaclyn Kulmatiski, Hope Ventimiglia, and Teresa Hutchinson (I'm so proud of us for this...we pulled it out of our butt like woah...and it was awesome lol)
when they called my name for an execelent for acting...I was just waiting for Hope to be called. then they stopped. Then I thought...o she got a superior...but it never happened.
Hope, you deserved that award...and I know how it feels to deserve something you didn't get. I'm sorry...
Kat...you're wonderfull and don't let that hardharted hussy of a judge tell you any different.
I want to feel proud, I do. But it's hard to feel proud when you knew you were right all along. I was hoping that I wouldn't have been right.
I really want it to be different..I really wanted to be wrong, I wanted people to yell at me for my negitive attitude.
Is it wrong that I didn't shed a tear?
Is it wrong that I'm glad it's over?
Is it wrong that I didn't say what was on my mind before?
Somehow I feel as if I could have changed it. But how? I don't know. Maybe because I'm not perfect...no one's perfect...but I try too much to be...and execelent wasn't enough. I feel somehow I have failed everyone...Swan, the cast...myself. I should be happy...but I think me being happy about something is impossible.
The little things matter. Little words. Little actions. The things that aren't made to mean anything...mean everything.
I should be happy because I got three awards...I should feel proud...but when I am happy about it I feel as if I'm bragging or gloating.
I should be upset because we didn't make it to regionals...but I don't know how it is to make it to regionals...we went...strutted our stuff...they didn't like it. Maybe we didn't strutt enough. Or maybe we just suck, who knows? I think I was the only one who wasn't upset. Maybe because I knew it all along.
But when they passed our name...AGAIN...my heart sunk...and I felt stupid for having some confidence.
Oh Dannie Boy Trio: Jaclyn Kulmatiski, Hope Ventimiglia, and Teresa Hutchinson (I'm so proud of us for this...we pulled it out of our butt like woah...and it was awesome lol)
when they called my name for an execelent for acting...I was just waiting for Hope to be called. then they stopped. Then I thought...o she got a superior...but it never happened.
Hope, you deserved that award...and I know how it feels to deserve something you didn't get. I'm sorry...
Kat...you're wonderfull and don't let that hardharted hussy of a judge tell you any different.
I want to feel proud, I do. But it's hard to feel proud when you knew you were right all along. I was hoping that I wouldn't have been right.
I really want it to be different..I really wanted to be wrong, I wanted people to yell at me for my negitive attitude.
Is it wrong that I didn't shed a tear?
Is it wrong that I'm glad it's over?
Is it wrong that I didn't say what was on my mind before?
Somehow I feel as if I could have changed it. But how? I don't know. Maybe because I'm not perfect...no one's perfect...but I try too much to be...and execelent wasn't enough. I feel somehow I have failed everyone...Swan, the cast...myself. I should be happy...but I think me being happy about something is impossible.
The little things matter. Little words. Little actions. The things that aren't made to mean anything...mean everything.