There and Back Again
Last summer, I closed up shop here at LiveJournal after several years. Too much of my life had become an electronic proxy for real relationships. And when your emotional crutch can no longer support you, it is time to learn to walk on your own. So I stopped blogging. I stopped corresponding with people solely through electronic means. I quit WoW. I unplugged. And sadly, I realized that my life was largely illusory.
The great big circle of friends that I had? Not there. Not really, at least. The support system that I used to get through the everyday drudgery of life? Not really all that supportive. Actually, I was fairly well insulated from dealing with my problems thanks to my complex system of electric contacts. Of course, I didn't realize all this until I unplugged and found myself quite unexpectedly alone, and, quite unwell.
So why then, am I back? Well, I'm not really back. Not in the way that I was. And, as crass as it may sound, I'm not back for you. I'm not back to get validation. I'm not back to get advice. I'm not back to give those things, either.
I'm back because LiveJournal has been the only platform that I have consistently written for. It is, for better or worse, the only thing that can convince me to write regularly. And while I no longer seek out a space to share my secrets, and no longer need a method of electronic communication to connect with people, I find myself longing for a place where I can "set pen to paper" and focus my thinking on subjects both great and small.
I have privatized everything written here previously and have started this journal from scratch. I'm happy to add anyone who wishes to follow what I write here. And I'm happy to follow your writing. In fact, I look forward to it.
The great big circle of friends that I had? Not there. Not really, at least. The support system that I used to get through the everyday drudgery of life? Not really all that supportive. Actually, I was fairly well insulated from dealing with my problems thanks to my complex system of electric contacts. Of course, I didn't realize all this until I unplugged and found myself quite unexpectedly alone, and, quite unwell.
So why then, am I back? Well, I'm not really back. Not in the way that I was. And, as crass as it may sound, I'm not back for you. I'm not back to get validation. I'm not back to get advice. I'm not back to give those things, either.
I'm back because LiveJournal has been the only platform that I have consistently written for. It is, for better or worse, the only thing that can convince me to write regularly. And while I no longer seek out a space to share my secrets, and no longer need a method of electronic communication to connect with people, I find myself longing for a place where I can "set pen to paper" and focus my thinking on subjects both great and small.
I have privatized everything written here previously and have started this journal from scratch. I'm happy to add anyone who wishes to follow what I write here. And I'm happy to follow your writing. In fact, I look forward to it.