Me being a bitter terrible person. Nothing to see here!
Everyone has their own troubles. And I believe that we shouldn't compare because while it may seem that another person's troubles are lesser or greater than our own that really has no bearing on how we each experience them or deal with them. I've never understood the point of platitudes like "A lot of people have it worse than you" And that's supposed to make us feel better? Am I supposed to somehow take some joy from the fact that other people are more miserable than I am? I know it's just supposed to remind us to be grateful that things are not worse but if anything it's going to induce guilt, not thankfulness. And guilt on top of what you are already dealing with is unlikely to be helpful.
So when people get embarrassed (as sometimes happens) when they complain that their typically developing child is being unruly or failing to live up to their potential or whatever. And then these people will realize who they are talking to and apologize and try to minimize their own situation I always assure them that their troubles are every bit as valid as mine. That while their children may not have issues to the extent that my daughter does that doesn't mean they are not allowed to worry about their kids or whatever. And it's stressful! Parenting is stressful no matter what issues your child does or doesn't have. And beyond parenting life is stressful and it hands us all various problems and stresses and those problems and stresses are real and valid and other people's situations have no bearing on how we experience our own.
And then I read a blog in which a woman goes on at length about how she just didn't feel like knitting for the last few months but thankfully a friend intervened and now she is enjoying knitting again. And maybe because of the basket load of things we've been dealing with lately or maybe because underneath it all I'm just a bitter terrible person..but whatever the reason I read that and I want to punch someone in the nose*.
*I don't mean I want to punch HER in the nose. She seems like a really lovely person and I'm sure her life has genuine problems and concerns.
So when people get embarrassed (as sometimes happens) when they complain that their typically developing child is being unruly or failing to live up to their potential or whatever. And then these people will realize who they are talking to and apologize and try to minimize their own situation I always assure them that their troubles are every bit as valid as mine. That while their children may not have issues to the extent that my daughter does that doesn't mean they are not allowed to worry about their kids or whatever. And it's stressful! Parenting is stressful no matter what issues your child does or doesn't have. And beyond parenting life is stressful and it hands us all various problems and stresses and those problems and stresses are real and valid and other people's situations have no bearing on how we experience our own.
And then I read a blog in which a woman goes on at length about how she just didn't feel like knitting for the last few months but thankfully a friend intervened and now she is enjoying knitting again. And maybe because of the basket load of things we've been dealing with lately or maybe because underneath it all I'm just a bitter terrible person..but whatever the reason I read that and I want to punch someone in the nose*.
*I don't mean I want to punch HER in the nose. She seems like a really lovely person and I'm sure her life has genuine problems and concerns.