I'll Make You Happy. Promise
Title: I'll Make You Happy. Promise
Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Rating: Mature
Summary: Sometimes Jensen has doubts.
Word count: 2400
AN: spn_j2_xmas gift for x_posed_again I really struggled with getting back into writing again, it's been awhile I thought, it would be like riding a bike, yeah... this was my third attempt I've made and I just really hope you enjoy it. Merry Christmas!!
The snow is vicious outside, winds making visibility almost impossible and Jensen finds Jared on the couch reading a book, wearing glasses, sexy glasses that make him look so fucking smart and sexy. Jensen smiles to himself and tightens the blanket he's got wrapped around him. It's freezing in the apartment and he sets a mental reminder to tell the landlord that they haven't had heat for three weeks and with the snow coming in, they need it. Desperately, or he's going to report him to whoever he needs to just to get heat in the fucking apartment.
Jared hears him as he scurries across the cold floor and flops right beside him.
"It's late, what are you still doing up?" Jared asks him, closing his book and Jensen cuddles against him to a helpless smile and comforting warmth.
"You weren't in bed," he looks up at him and nuzzles at his neck, he presses a couple kisses against Jared’s warm skin, "it woke me up," he smiles and Jared chuckles sliding his glasses off as he yawns. "Tired?" Jensen shifts around and maneuvers the blanket to cover the both of them.
Jared tugs and pulls and Jensen shuffles around until Jared has most of the blanket and his leg is freezing in the open air. "Dude, this is my blanket!" he tugs to the sound of Jared's laughter. "Stop being so stingy!" he pulls until he has enough blanket to tuck under his leg. "What are you still doing up? You have school in the morning." Jensen asks past a yawn.
Jared curls a leg around his intimately and sighs. "This book is really interesting, when I couldn't sleep it seemed like a good idea," Jared pulls Jensen in and nuzzles at his neck. It feels exhilarating. "You smell nice, like,” he breathes in deep, his nose a cold spot against Jensen’s neck, it makes Jensen smile and his stomach tingle. “Hmm, something really nice," Jared murmurs with a pleasant hum and Jensen feels the chuckle bubble in his chest before he muffles it against Jared’s temple.
"We're going to be late on rent next month. With it being so cold I don't have enough students at the studio," Jensen brings up casually, although it seems to be the start of a rather serious conversation to just randomly impose on such a lovely little moment between them.
Jared purses his lips together and nods. "That's not good. My parents don't want to give me more money until I get serious," he burrows deeper into the cocoon they've created of body warmth. "Their words, not mine," he adds and it seems he wants Jensen to know he doesn't expect him to pay all the bills, but in reality he really does cover most of them. Jared’s still going to school and while his parents still, thankfully, cover those costs; the job at the school bookstore doesn’t pay much.
And Jensen’s ok with that though; it was him, after all, who drove to Jared's house that rainy night and pounded on his door, soaked and looking like a drowned dog, telling Jared he loved him, begging him to leave his perfect rich boy life in the expensive part of town and come live with him in his little apartment, in a terrible neighborhood but it would all be ok because he loved him. He was the fucking love of his life.
Jensen never expected Jared to actually leave with him, but he did and they are struggling. Everyday.
It is difficult and Jensen knows it's hard on Jared but he's never complained, even when Jensen has caught him a bit glassy eyed near the window. During those emotional moments he just holds him and runs his fingers through his hair and smoothes his hand down his back and up his neck and whispers promises he plans to keep.
All Jensen can do is offer him his heart. All he wants to do is love him. Love him with every part of his entire being.
"You know I don’t want their money," Jensen reminds softly, he doesn't want Jared to think he's counting on his parents money, he isn't. He'd never dream to live off of Jared’s parents money. "We just need to cut back some. Maybe, maybe no wine-"
Jared huffs petulantly, a result of his spoiled upbringing. "But I look forward to our nights of-"
"Not until we can afford it again," Jensen sits up and wraps his arms protectively around Jared, threading his hands through his hair, tickling down his neck, it’s getting long and he loves it. "I wish I had more money," he comments as an afterthought and Jared snuggles against his chest like a cat. "I promised I would take care of you," he looks down at him and catches the undying affection that urges him every day to move forward, even though it's difficult sometimes.
"You are, Jensen," Jared looks at him. "You are perfect," Jared grabs his hand under the blanket and holds it tightly, hoping to convey his emotions and Jensen appreciates that. "Perfect enough to go make me some hot chocolate," he grins slowly and pokes at his side, which Jensen hates and Jared always does despite it.
"You think if you bat your pretty eyes at me, I'm going to be your errand boy?" he swoops in and kisses his full mouth; Jared responds eagerly and holds them tighter under the blankets in his unrelenting grip. "Well," Jensen pulls away, "you're right, you asshole."
Jared lets out a yelp of victory and cocoons himself around the blankets leaving Jensen out in the cold.
"You're lucky you're so good looking," Jensen shoves at him before he stands up and heads for the kitchen. He hasn't even pulled out the milk before Jared, wrapped like a giant ass burrito shuffles in and pastes himself against his back.
"I missed you," he hums in his ear while Jensen pours two mugs for them. It's difficult with Jared right behind him, shifting around and making him lose his concentration. "I'm hungry," Jared adds after a while.
Jensen moves away momentarily to reach for the powdered chocolate on the top shelf, "that's not my department," Jensen digs for a spoon in the mess of their utensil drawer and catches Jared flinging the blanket off him, his thermal is scrunched up around his torso, the best stomach and hipbones in the state staring back at Jensen like a tease.
Jensen reaches out and runs a palm along Jared’s skin, across his stomach and down the jut of his hip. Sometimes all Jensen thinks about it touching Jared. Can’t ever get enough.
Jensen feels Jared tremble beneath his hand, a quiet whine in his throat.
“Jen,” he whispers and steps in close, the heat pouring off his body, a furnace. Jensen doesn’t know how many times he’s woken up sweating, Jared pressed so tight against him like a second skin. It’s gross and mostly uncomfortable in the most intimate kind of way but he refuses to consider the alternative. That’s not even an option.
Jared’s mouth is sweet; like the gummy bears Jensen’s sure Jared keeps stealing from his secret stash.
Chocolate milk forgotten Jensen’s hands slide up Jared’s back, holding him close. Jensen loves the way Jared’s body moves so willingly to him. It’s such a turn on. From the beginning, Jared let him do whatever he wanted, let Jensen move him, bend him, pull him, open him, whatever, all the time, every day. A year later nothing’s changed.
Jensen pulls from Jared with a quiet snick, pressing his lips to Jared’s neck, tongue licking up the column before he wraps his mouth around the secret spot right under his jaw. It’s like an adrenaline shot to Jared’s libido.
“Oh, fuck, Jensen,” Jared rubs deliciously against Jensen, so pliant and needy as Jensen’s hand runs down Jared’s back, finger tips toying with the waist band of low hung sleep pants around Jared’s hips.
“That feel nice?” Jensen mouths, softly, deeply, hands sliding under pants and underwear right to the where they want to be.
Jared’s skin is shockingly soft. Hard and muscled, so fit but tenders as soon as Jensen touches him, it’s addicting.
Jared whines again, pressing even closer, arms wound around Jensen’s neck, holding his head in place, needy little sounds encouraging him to go on, wanting his mouth to kiss, his hands to touch and squeeze and press into the heat of his body.
Jensen grins and sucks at Jared throat for a second, “bed time?” he asks giving Jared’s ass a teasing little squeeze.
Jared leans down and kisses him hard on the mouth with a nod, already walking them out of their tiny kitchen when the terrible grumble of hunger startles them apart.
Jensen can’t help the punch of laughter, his hands sliding out of Jared’s pants as he pulls away. “Hungry?”
The blush that blooms along Jared’s cheeks is endearing, "I think there's some take out we didn't finish," he moves away hesitantly, skin flushed, eyes dark and wanting but his gut wins out again when it grumbles out loud. Jensen leans against the counter top and watches him dig through the fridge. Jared pulls out three take out boxes and opens them one but one, smelling them to make sure their contents are still edible. "Seems safe," he grins and grabs for a sauté pan. Jared is not a fan of the microwave when it comes to reheating meals. He says it tastes different and Jensen lets him believe what he wants to believe, as long as he's fed.
The forgotten milk gets thrown down the drain and two fresh cups are made before Jared has time to finish heating everything so Jensen takes a seat at their little table and waits for him.
Instead of complaining he watches Jared, the way he moves, the way he cares for the food, trying to make it as delicious as he can, even if he didn’t make it himself. Jared has a magical way when it comes to food.
"Can you get me some plates?" Jared asks, the kitchen smelling so wonderful his own stomach warm and happy to eat and Jensen moves for them. He holds them both out as Jared evenly distributes the food between them.
Jensen sets the plates down and grabs chopsticks and napkins. Jared is sitting smelling the food with a smile and Jensen sets the utensils in front of him. He looks up at him overjoyed; it's beautiful innocent and full of love, almost too adoring and it makes Jensen’s heart twist. It reminds him of how fucking young Jared is.
Jensen wonders when his happy world will crumble and Jared will realize life can be more than just store bought chocolate and old take out. When Jared will change his mind and leave him.
"Oh, I think we still have some of that radish kimchi, it will be perfect," Jared pushes away from the table, ambles with his long, clumsy legs to the fridge and rummages around the refrigerator for it. "Found it," he pulls out the glass jar he bought at the Korean market around the corner, just enough for the both of them and shows him a gleeful smile.
Jensen wishes he could win the lottery, forget their financial issues and provide Jared with the perfect life he grew up knowing.
"This is going to be so good. I'm excited." Jared chuckles at how childish he must sound as he sets the jar on the table beside the food.
Jensen loves the sound more than anything in the world.
He steps out of his chair and stands in front of Jared; has to look up, four years and still taller than Jensen, with more to grow. Jensen can already tell he’s going to reach the sky.
Jared looks back at him with galaxies rotating around his eyes, mouth so soft.
Jensen reaches up and kisses him, deep and promising. Jared arms wrap around his neck, pressing tight against him, feeling him, holding him like he never wants to let go.
"I'm going to do everything to make you happy," he whispers against his mouth and Jared pulls away.
"I am happy," he smiles wonderfully and it's honest, so honest Jensen can believe him. "What makes you think I'm not? I have you, that's all I need. That's all that matters," he touches his face and Jensen feels the warmth in his heart spread through the rest of his body.
Jensen wants him to never miss the life he used to live. "You don't have to worry about anything," Jensen walks back to his seat and sits down, Jared takes to his own and they both can see the food steaming with heat and smelling so wonderful.
"I don't," and Jared feeds him a dumpling. "I know you worry but I'm happy and I don't need anything but you, Jensen."
And he feeds Jared back with a smile. "Drink your chocolate before it gets cold, you perfect bastard," he tells him.
Jared chuckles and shakes his head, takes a drink and Jensen watches as Jared savours the moment its soothing heat slides down his throat. When he looks back up and Jensen can see his eyes, he’s serious.
The room prickles uncomfortably with the silence between them.
It takes a moment before Jared speaks again, "you need to stop," he sets his chopsticks down. "I knew it was going to be difficult. It was my decision to leave. I don't regret it and if you keep talking about it, reminding me my life is different now, making this,” he waves his finger between them, around the room, “terrible and not the what I could have, what I’m missing, eventually-eventually it will get to me. And I'll start to resent you, not because I’ve regretted my decision, but because you seem to," Jared tells him. It's the first time he's ever been so honest, so serious and so grown up. "So stop, because I fucking love you, and I don't expect you to be Superman, Jensen. I expect you to be human and to love me. A lot."
Jensen feeds him again and Jared takes it willingly. "Oh know, you're my everything, don't laugh. I know it's embarrassing. Fuck. Don’t look at me," Jensen turns away, he can’t even bring himself to face Jared; the heat climbing his cheeks as he picks at his food. "But that's how I feel."
"Good," Jared clears his throat and Jensen feels the sudden tip of a cold toe sliding up his leg. "It also helps you're so fucking good looking," he adds and Jensen laughs.
It's these happy little moments in their life that makes it worth it. Makes him believe it will work out.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Rating: Mature
Summary: Sometimes Jensen has doubts.
Word count: 2400
AN: spn_j2_xmas gift for x_posed_again I really struggled with getting back into writing again, it's been awhile I thought, it would be like riding a bike, yeah... this was my third attempt I've made and I just really hope you enjoy it. Merry Christmas!!
The snow is vicious outside, winds making visibility almost impossible and Jensen finds Jared on the couch reading a book, wearing glasses, sexy glasses that make him look so fucking smart and sexy. Jensen smiles to himself and tightens the blanket he's got wrapped around him. It's freezing in the apartment and he sets a mental reminder to tell the landlord that they haven't had heat for three weeks and with the snow coming in, they need it. Desperately, or he's going to report him to whoever he needs to just to get heat in the fucking apartment.
Jared hears him as he scurries across the cold floor and flops right beside him.
"It's late, what are you still doing up?" Jared asks him, closing his book and Jensen cuddles against him to a helpless smile and comforting warmth.
"You weren't in bed," he looks up at him and nuzzles at his neck, he presses a couple kisses against Jared’s warm skin, "it woke me up," he smiles and Jared chuckles sliding his glasses off as he yawns. "Tired?" Jensen shifts around and maneuvers the blanket to cover the both of them.
Jared tugs and pulls and Jensen shuffles around until Jared has most of the blanket and his leg is freezing in the open air. "Dude, this is my blanket!" he tugs to the sound of Jared's laughter. "Stop being so stingy!" he pulls until he has enough blanket to tuck under his leg. "What are you still doing up? You have school in the morning." Jensen asks past a yawn.
Jared curls a leg around his intimately and sighs. "This book is really interesting, when I couldn't sleep it seemed like a good idea," Jared pulls Jensen in and nuzzles at his neck. It feels exhilarating. "You smell nice, like,” he breathes in deep, his nose a cold spot against Jensen’s neck, it makes Jensen smile and his stomach tingle. “Hmm, something really nice," Jared murmurs with a pleasant hum and Jensen feels the chuckle bubble in his chest before he muffles it against Jared’s temple.
"We're going to be late on rent next month. With it being so cold I don't have enough students at the studio," Jensen brings up casually, although it seems to be the start of a rather serious conversation to just randomly impose on such a lovely little moment between them.
Jared purses his lips together and nods. "That's not good. My parents don't want to give me more money until I get serious," he burrows deeper into the cocoon they've created of body warmth. "Their words, not mine," he adds and it seems he wants Jensen to know he doesn't expect him to pay all the bills, but in reality he really does cover most of them. Jared’s still going to school and while his parents still, thankfully, cover those costs; the job at the school bookstore doesn’t pay much.
And Jensen’s ok with that though; it was him, after all, who drove to Jared's house that rainy night and pounded on his door, soaked and looking like a drowned dog, telling Jared he loved him, begging him to leave his perfect rich boy life in the expensive part of town and come live with him in his little apartment, in a terrible neighborhood but it would all be ok because he loved him. He was the fucking love of his life.
Jensen never expected Jared to actually leave with him, but he did and they are struggling. Everyday.
It is difficult and Jensen knows it's hard on Jared but he's never complained, even when Jensen has caught him a bit glassy eyed near the window. During those emotional moments he just holds him and runs his fingers through his hair and smoothes his hand down his back and up his neck and whispers promises he plans to keep.
All Jensen can do is offer him his heart. All he wants to do is love him. Love him with every part of his entire being.
"You know I don’t want their money," Jensen reminds softly, he doesn't want Jared to think he's counting on his parents money, he isn't. He'd never dream to live off of Jared’s parents money. "We just need to cut back some. Maybe, maybe no wine-"
Jared huffs petulantly, a result of his spoiled upbringing. "But I look forward to our nights of-"
"Not until we can afford it again," Jensen sits up and wraps his arms protectively around Jared, threading his hands through his hair, tickling down his neck, it’s getting long and he loves it. "I wish I had more money," he comments as an afterthought and Jared snuggles against his chest like a cat. "I promised I would take care of you," he looks down at him and catches the undying affection that urges him every day to move forward, even though it's difficult sometimes.
"You are, Jensen," Jared looks at him. "You are perfect," Jared grabs his hand under the blanket and holds it tightly, hoping to convey his emotions and Jensen appreciates that. "Perfect enough to go make me some hot chocolate," he grins slowly and pokes at his side, which Jensen hates and Jared always does despite it.
"You think if you bat your pretty eyes at me, I'm going to be your errand boy?" he swoops in and kisses his full mouth; Jared responds eagerly and holds them tighter under the blankets in his unrelenting grip. "Well," Jensen pulls away, "you're right, you asshole."
Jared lets out a yelp of victory and cocoons himself around the blankets leaving Jensen out in the cold.
"You're lucky you're so good looking," Jensen shoves at him before he stands up and heads for the kitchen. He hasn't even pulled out the milk before Jared, wrapped like a giant ass burrito shuffles in and pastes himself against his back.
"I missed you," he hums in his ear while Jensen pours two mugs for them. It's difficult with Jared right behind him, shifting around and making him lose his concentration. "I'm hungry," Jared adds after a while.
Jensen moves away momentarily to reach for the powdered chocolate on the top shelf, "that's not my department," Jensen digs for a spoon in the mess of their utensil drawer and catches Jared flinging the blanket off him, his thermal is scrunched up around his torso, the best stomach and hipbones in the state staring back at Jensen like a tease.
Jensen reaches out and runs a palm along Jared’s skin, across his stomach and down the jut of his hip. Sometimes all Jensen thinks about it touching Jared. Can’t ever get enough.
Jensen feels Jared tremble beneath his hand, a quiet whine in his throat.
“Jen,” he whispers and steps in close, the heat pouring off his body, a furnace. Jensen doesn’t know how many times he’s woken up sweating, Jared pressed so tight against him like a second skin. It’s gross and mostly uncomfortable in the most intimate kind of way but he refuses to consider the alternative. That’s not even an option.
Jared’s mouth is sweet; like the gummy bears Jensen’s sure Jared keeps stealing from his secret stash.
Chocolate milk forgotten Jensen’s hands slide up Jared’s back, holding him close. Jensen loves the way Jared’s body moves so willingly to him. It’s such a turn on. From the beginning, Jared let him do whatever he wanted, let Jensen move him, bend him, pull him, open him, whatever, all the time, every day. A year later nothing’s changed.
Jensen pulls from Jared with a quiet snick, pressing his lips to Jared’s neck, tongue licking up the column before he wraps his mouth around the secret spot right under his jaw. It’s like an adrenaline shot to Jared’s libido.
“Oh, fuck, Jensen,” Jared rubs deliciously against Jensen, so pliant and needy as Jensen’s hand runs down Jared’s back, finger tips toying with the waist band of low hung sleep pants around Jared’s hips.
“That feel nice?” Jensen mouths, softly, deeply, hands sliding under pants and underwear right to the where they want to be.
Jared’s skin is shockingly soft. Hard and muscled, so fit but tenders as soon as Jensen touches him, it’s addicting.
Jared whines again, pressing even closer, arms wound around Jensen’s neck, holding his head in place, needy little sounds encouraging him to go on, wanting his mouth to kiss, his hands to touch and squeeze and press into the heat of his body.
Jensen grins and sucks at Jared throat for a second, “bed time?” he asks giving Jared’s ass a teasing little squeeze.
Jared leans down and kisses him hard on the mouth with a nod, already walking them out of their tiny kitchen when the terrible grumble of hunger startles them apart.
Jensen can’t help the punch of laughter, his hands sliding out of Jared’s pants as he pulls away. “Hungry?”
The blush that blooms along Jared’s cheeks is endearing, "I think there's some take out we didn't finish," he moves away hesitantly, skin flushed, eyes dark and wanting but his gut wins out again when it grumbles out loud. Jensen leans against the counter top and watches him dig through the fridge. Jared pulls out three take out boxes and opens them one but one, smelling them to make sure their contents are still edible. "Seems safe," he grins and grabs for a sauté pan. Jared is not a fan of the microwave when it comes to reheating meals. He says it tastes different and Jensen lets him believe what he wants to believe, as long as he's fed.
The forgotten milk gets thrown down the drain and two fresh cups are made before Jared has time to finish heating everything so Jensen takes a seat at their little table and waits for him.
Instead of complaining he watches Jared, the way he moves, the way he cares for the food, trying to make it as delicious as he can, even if he didn’t make it himself. Jared has a magical way when it comes to food.
"Can you get me some plates?" Jared asks, the kitchen smelling so wonderful his own stomach warm and happy to eat and Jensen moves for them. He holds them both out as Jared evenly distributes the food between them.
Jensen sets the plates down and grabs chopsticks and napkins. Jared is sitting smelling the food with a smile and Jensen sets the utensils in front of him. He looks up at him overjoyed; it's beautiful innocent and full of love, almost too adoring and it makes Jensen’s heart twist. It reminds him of how fucking young Jared is.
Jensen wonders when his happy world will crumble and Jared will realize life can be more than just store bought chocolate and old take out. When Jared will change his mind and leave him.
"Oh, I think we still have some of that radish kimchi, it will be perfect," Jared pushes away from the table, ambles with his long, clumsy legs to the fridge and rummages around the refrigerator for it. "Found it," he pulls out the glass jar he bought at the Korean market around the corner, just enough for the both of them and shows him a gleeful smile.
Jensen wishes he could win the lottery, forget their financial issues and provide Jared with the perfect life he grew up knowing.
"This is going to be so good. I'm excited." Jared chuckles at how childish he must sound as he sets the jar on the table beside the food.
Jensen loves the sound more than anything in the world.
He steps out of his chair and stands in front of Jared; has to look up, four years and still taller than Jensen, with more to grow. Jensen can already tell he’s going to reach the sky.
Jared looks back at him with galaxies rotating around his eyes, mouth so soft.
Jensen reaches up and kisses him, deep and promising. Jared arms wrap around his neck, pressing tight against him, feeling him, holding him like he never wants to let go.
"I'm going to do everything to make you happy," he whispers against his mouth and Jared pulls away.
"I am happy," he smiles wonderfully and it's honest, so honest Jensen can believe him. "What makes you think I'm not? I have you, that's all I need. That's all that matters," he touches his face and Jensen feels the warmth in his heart spread through the rest of his body.
Jensen wants him to never miss the life he used to live. "You don't have to worry about anything," Jensen walks back to his seat and sits down, Jared takes to his own and they both can see the food steaming with heat and smelling so wonderful.
"I don't," and Jared feeds him a dumpling. "I know you worry but I'm happy and I don't need anything but you, Jensen."
And he feeds Jared back with a smile. "Drink your chocolate before it gets cold, you perfect bastard," he tells him.
Jared chuckles and shakes his head, takes a drink and Jensen watches as Jared savours the moment its soothing heat slides down his throat. When he looks back up and Jensen can see his eyes, he’s serious.
The room prickles uncomfortably with the silence between them.
It takes a moment before Jared speaks again, "you need to stop," he sets his chopsticks down. "I knew it was going to be difficult. It was my decision to leave. I don't regret it and if you keep talking about it, reminding me my life is different now, making this,” he waves his finger between them, around the room, “terrible and not the what I could have, what I’m missing, eventually-eventually it will get to me. And I'll start to resent you, not because I’ve regretted my decision, but because you seem to," Jared tells him. It's the first time he's ever been so honest, so serious and so grown up. "So stop, because I fucking love you, and I don't expect you to be Superman, Jensen. I expect you to be human and to love me. A lot."
Jensen feeds him again and Jared takes it willingly. "Oh know, you're my everything, don't laugh. I know it's embarrassing. Fuck. Don’t look at me," Jensen turns away, he can’t even bring himself to face Jared; the heat climbing his cheeks as he picks at his food. "But that's how I feel."
"Good," Jared clears his throat and Jensen feels the sudden tip of a cold toe sliding up his leg. "It also helps you're so fucking good looking," he adds and Jensen laughs.
It's these happy little moments in their life that makes it worth it. Makes him believe it will work out.