Comments | greatpoets: First Frost by Andrei Voznesensky

lilac_whispers in greatpoets

First Frost by Andrei Voznesensky

Feb 20, 2007 20:22

First Ice
by Andrei Voznesensky
translated by George ReaveyA girl freezes in a telephone booth ( Read more... )

andrei voznesensky, george reavey, stanley kunitz

Comments 10

elvendoll February 21 2007, 03:57:13 UTC

Any chance you've for the original to paste in, too?

lilac_whispers February 21 2007, 07:40:48 UTC

I wish I did! But unfortunately, no, I don't. Sorry!

spiritualorchid February 21 2007, 04:31:45 UTC

I really like "The first ice of human hurt."

lilac_whispers February 21 2007, 07:42:35 UTC

Me too! It's one of the lines I mentioned; I actually think it's a much better ending.

peccare February 21 2007, 06:39:53 UTC

i really like the first one, just because the rhythm and tone work better together, and it has some v. attentions catching lines, like the last two of the first stanza, and the last line of the last stanza

charientism February 21 2007, 16:41:30 UTC

it's so interesting seeing two different translations of the same thing -- that play out into two entirely different poems. i like first frost a lot more, actually; the diction & the simple image of "first frost" works better for me than "first ice" -- & that line It is the start of winter glittering on her cheek kind of kills me.

i wonder how much we're really missing from the original poem now that i've seen how different translations can work out to be. it's a pretty unsettling thought. :/

execution_sutra February 23 2007, 17:18:46 UTC

I do like the second more: it has more immediacy of language and stronger verbs. I think something is lost by obscuring the earrings as glass beads, however. I like the suddenness, the plainness, the upfrontness of that detail in the first poem. Surrounded by the icy imagery, you can't help but see them as part of the cold.