Alcohol - the ultimate cure
I'm still home (the laundary is taking forever to get done!) but to my surprize no longer wanting to hide in my dog's shed because at my dad's bday dinner things actaully took a turn for the better. I attribute the happy change to alcohol, but after a few shots of this vile spicy garlic flavored Ukrainian vodka (the stuff is actually orange in color, kinda murky, and has red peper pieces floating in it) my parents loosened up and actually proceeded to tell jokes, laugh, and actaully be happy. I guess it helped that the three of us were not the only ones there, so whatever residual anger they had at me was diluted by thier friends and the fact that I tried my damnest to be polite and concenting to pretty much any request. The evening concluded with everyone going back to my parent's house, drinking tea, more of the Ukrainian vodka (terrible combination), and having cake as they shared college stories (more details of my mom's sex life I never wanted to know), Communist KGB stories, and family gossip which I could not follow as I frankly don't know most of the people they were talking about and I don't really care about all the random aunts who got married for the 4th time or the kids they claim to bear from men who everyone knows are sterile (yes, cheating is not "judged" as much in my family as in most...hehe). After this, they all decided to watch American Pie 2, which they all found extremely hillarious. Now, for me this a bit odd when my mom and her 60 year old "chain smoker former KGB operative" friend where dying from laughter when the lesbians in the movie were forcing three of the main characters to touch/kiss/caress each other...hehe, at least they had fun.
This morning I called both my grandmothers, as I am required to do everytime I come home. One lives in Kiev (Ukraine...shame on all of you who did not know this!) and another in Arad (Israel) and these two energetic women hate each other because one is a devout Russian Orthodox and another a devout Jew. Today, for the first time in my life, they agreed with each other! As this was the first time we had spoken since before I had turned 21, both immediately decided to point out that I was now officially an old maid, that I had waited to long and was now a failure as a woman as I had neither a husband or a child, that they don't know where they went wrong in raising me (at this point, they of course blamed each other), and what was worse is that I show absolutely no desire to find this said husband or to get pregnaint with said child...this lack of initiative on my part depressed them the most, which will mean that they will pray harder for me to their respective gods to find my way away from silly accademic persuits (mind you, one of them has a PhD in botany or forestry, while the other is an infection disease MD and was a director of a hospitol for years) and toward "WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT". Then one yelled at my mom and another at my dad for allowing me think too freely, to move out of the house, attend a "Liberal" university, live with men I did not date (explaining to them that dating Brandon would pretty much be a physiological and physical impossibility is useless because neither "believes in that sort of thing"), and traveling to cities and coutries far away from the watchful eye of my parents to indulge in debauchery and sin (again, much of this is me translating their wording...i would never day "debauchery"). And it doesn't help me that they both know silly 17 and 18 year olds who got knocked up before even finishing school and are not getting hitched to the idiots who forgot to wear a condom or didn't check the experations date. Apparently those girls have thier priorities straight, while I'm just "wasting time as good men are snached up by more decisive women"...hehe.
Later today, a few good things happen:
1. I finally got a new phone in the mail that works and looks spiffy, which I've been playing with for a while now trying to figure out all the features. The old phone that I've had since freshman year randomly turned off, needed to be charged 3 times a day, and was missing parts.
2. Bought comfy shoes with multicolor shoue laces...it doesn't take much to make me happy, plus I love everything about Sketchers except for their skanky ads.
3. Used my Bday Victoria Secret discount to buy a killer set - Black braw trimmed in hot pink and matching panties. In fear of tooting my own horn...I looked HOT in that dressing room!
4. Alex finally fixed my computer so hopefully it will no longer turn off, give me the blue screen of death, and allow all of my software for lab and personal amusement to work.
All in all: it was a decent weekend with mild family craziness, as expected.
Downside: Did NOT get my public opinion/affirmative action paper written which pretty much means an allnighter on Monday night...damn!
This morning I called both my grandmothers, as I am required to do everytime I come home. One lives in Kiev (Ukraine...shame on all of you who did not know this!) and another in Arad (Israel) and these two energetic women hate each other because one is a devout Russian Orthodox and another a devout Jew. Today, for the first time in my life, they agreed with each other! As this was the first time we had spoken since before I had turned 21, both immediately decided to point out that I was now officially an old maid, that I had waited to long and was now a failure as a woman as I had neither a husband or a child, that they don't know where they went wrong in raising me (at this point, they of course blamed each other), and what was worse is that I show absolutely no desire to find this said husband or to get pregnaint with said child...this lack of initiative on my part depressed them the most, which will mean that they will pray harder for me to their respective gods to find my way away from silly accademic persuits (mind you, one of them has a PhD in botany or forestry, while the other is an infection disease MD and was a director of a hospitol for years) and toward "WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT". Then one yelled at my mom and another at my dad for allowing me think too freely, to move out of the house, attend a "Liberal" university, live with men I did not date (explaining to them that dating Brandon would pretty much be a physiological and physical impossibility is useless because neither "believes in that sort of thing"), and traveling to cities and coutries far away from the watchful eye of my parents to indulge in debauchery and sin (again, much of this is me translating their wording...i would never day "debauchery"). And it doesn't help me that they both know silly 17 and 18 year olds who got knocked up before even finishing school and are not getting hitched to the idiots who forgot to wear a condom or didn't check the experations date. Apparently those girls have thier priorities straight, while I'm just "wasting time as good men are snached up by more decisive women"...hehe.
Later today, a few good things happen:
1. I finally got a new phone in the mail that works and looks spiffy, which I've been playing with for a while now trying to figure out all the features. The old phone that I've had since freshman year randomly turned off, needed to be charged 3 times a day, and was missing parts.
2. Bought comfy shoes with multicolor shoue laces...it doesn't take much to make me happy, plus I love everything about Sketchers except for their skanky ads.
3. Used my Bday Victoria Secret discount to buy a killer set - Black braw trimmed in hot pink and matching panties. In fear of tooting my own horn...I looked HOT in that dressing room!
4. Alex finally fixed my computer so hopefully it will no longer turn off, give me the blue screen of death, and allow all of my software for lab and personal amusement to work.
All in all: it was a decent weekend with mild family craziness, as expected.
Downside: Did NOT get my public opinion/affirmative action paper written which pretty much means an allnighter on Monday night...damn!