Boston vs. CA
I have spent almost two weeks now in Boston (Friday will be 2 weeks) and, aside from frequent run-ins with Amy, I have been having a wonderful time. The city is bustling with life, never lacking things to do be it sailing lessons (which we get for free as MIT residents), wondering up and down Newberry Street, or watching (and participating on ocasion in) one of the frequent Gay Pride parades. I'm always either playing pool out with my suite-mates, hanging out with the guys in our program, working at the lab, or attempting to do all my optics hw/presentations...I'm so buzy, in fact, that I never seem to spend any time alone, even when talking to my parents (who are paniking that I'm so far away and call multiple times a day). I love my job and my classes and eventhough I feel incedibly behind and lost most of the time, I can't wait to learn and experience more. Still I can't help but feel home sick...incredibly homesick, actually. I miss CA, not just for its weather, but because being away made me realize that CA is, in fact, my home.
The other day, I saw a Hollywood video store through the window of the Prudential Tower and I was so incredibly happy to see something that reminds me so much of home (To explain this, there's a dinky old Hollywood Video store a mile away from my house in Danville. It's so tiny that they only recently got DVD's in and still boast an awsome oldies VHS section. Often my friends and I would go to hang out infront of it, eating our Burritoes and just passing time.).
Going to college so close to home eased my transition away from my family and hometown because, I guess subconsciensly, I always knew that if I wanted to I could always catch the next Bart home and within an hour be curled up on my parents' couch eating borsch. Now I can't. It's not like I need for my parents to take care of stuff for me...I have been living on my own for 2 years now and only come home every 2 months or so for hollidays or birthdays...its a feeling I can't really explain...longing, maybe. I miss the places I know, the stores I'm used to, and the atmosphere or laid-back ease. I guess I understand now what Vlad was going through freshman year and why he so desperately wanted to go home...the familiarity, the knowledge of security so close to us. Maybe I'm just being melodramatic...for the time being, I'm having an awsome time here and perhaps being away from home will help me appreciate it more once I'm back.
On a more positive note, being away from Berkeley and all the places that remind me of Vlad, is definately helping with the healing process of this break-up. I have actually gone entired days without thinking of him (well...more like sometimes for 12 hours in a row he may not cross my mind). I actually feel OK thinking of coming back and seeing him again and knowing I can actually be fine spending time in his company despite that "we" are over for good. Given time, I will probably even be able to think of our time together without longing...for now, I'm happy that I can look at other guys and not compare them to him immediately.
The other day, I saw a Hollywood video store through the window of the Prudential Tower and I was so incredibly happy to see something that reminds me so much of home (To explain this, there's a dinky old Hollywood Video store a mile away from my house in Danville. It's so tiny that they only recently got DVD's in and still boast an awsome oldies VHS section. Often my friends and I would go to hang out infront of it, eating our Burritoes and just passing time.).
Going to college so close to home eased my transition away from my family and hometown because, I guess subconsciensly, I always knew that if I wanted to I could always catch the next Bart home and within an hour be curled up on my parents' couch eating borsch. Now I can't. It's not like I need for my parents to take care of stuff for me...I have been living on my own for 2 years now and only come home every 2 months or so for hollidays or birthdays...its a feeling I can't really explain...longing, maybe. I miss the places I know, the stores I'm used to, and the atmosphere or laid-back ease. I guess I understand now what Vlad was going through freshman year and why he so desperately wanted to go home...the familiarity, the knowledge of security so close to us. Maybe I'm just being melodramatic...for the time being, I'm having an awsome time here and perhaps being away from home will help me appreciate it more once I'm back.
On a more positive note, being away from Berkeley and all the places that remind me of Vlad, is definately helping with the healing process of this break-up. I have actually gone entired days without thinking of him (well...more like sometimes for 12 hours in a row he may not cross my mind). I actually feel OK thinking of coming back and seeing him again and knowing I can actually be fine spending time in his company despite that "we" are over for good. Given time, I will probably even be able to think of our time together without longing...for now, I'm happy that I can look at other guys and not compare them to him immediately.